WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
06-25-2013, 09:05 AM (This post was last modified: 07-08-2013 10:36 PM by Gordon Gekko.)
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
24 June 2013, Monday
12 noon USA Eastern Standard Time
The Alamodome, San Antonio TX
07-08-2013, 10:37 PM (This post was last modified: 07-08-2013 10:39 PM by Gordon Gekko.)
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
A vignette starts off with the audio of firing of rifles, presumably signifying the 21 Gun Salute, followed by the playing of Taps. Then the narration begins with a voiceover saying…
“We honor the fallen.”
The scene finally opens with a historical shot of the legendary Alamo. And the narration continues.
“For centuries now, humanity has been wrecked with war.
February 23rd, 1636.
Over 1,500 Mexican soldiers laid siege on the Alamo…
defended by no more than 100 Texians.
13 days to death.
13 days to total destruction.
13 days to glory.”
“That was then. And this is now.”
The black and white snippets of the infamous Battle of Alamo transitions into modern day physical warfare featuring the best that the WLF has to offer.
The vignette concludes with a close-up shot of the WLF President himself, Gordon Gekko, mouthing the words…
“There can only be one.”
Video fades to black.
Colorful fireworks and explosive pyros kick off the second WLF World War III pay-per-view, emanating live from the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas! The camera pans across the sea of humanity, showing over 40,000 strong screaming fans jampacked into the arena!
07-08-2013, 10:45 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
Maxine Minerva May vs Isabelle Bellacourt
WLF fans will be treated to the excitement and intrigue of two debuting divas in the division.
Which newcomer will be dressed to impress and which newcomer will be equipped to kill?
Referee: Jim Korderas
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
The pyro continue to explode on the stage and the crowd continues to roar as World War 3 as kicking off. Highlighted by several big matches, including the 3 ring, 60 man Battle Royal, WW3 was shaping up to be an amazing event. And every amazing event had to have a beginning.....
Gorilla Monsoon: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to World War 3! I'm Gorilla Monsoon alongside Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Bobby, what a show we have here tonight!
Bobby Heenan: What a show indeed. Several championships on the line, that massive Main Event Battle Royal, but to open we get to take a look at two brand new signees to our Women's Division in Maxine Minerva May and Isabelle Bellacourt.
Gorilla Monsoon: Yes we do and I for one am very excited about one of them, Ms. Belle Bellacourt. She just seems so alive, so happy. It's hard not to like her.
Bobby Heenan: But what's the big deal about liking her? Sure she's happy and all that but I'm more leaning towards her opponent, Maxine. She seems like she'd tear someone apart if I get my read on her right.
Gorilla Monsoon: Maybe, but the truth is we really don't know that much about them. It is really anyone's match up between these two.
Before the conversation could be continued, "What the Hell" by Avril Lavigne started to blast from the speakers.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making her way to the ring at this time, from Detroit, Michigan, this is Isabelle Bellacourt!
As soon as her name was announced, Belle came bounding through the curtain, all smiles and waves as the crowd reacted to her positive energy by cheering loudly, all the excitement and anticipation finally having an outlet.
Gorilla Monsoon: And you can just feel the energy pouring out of Belle here. It's almost infectious!
Bobby Heenan: No kidding. But she's such a small girl.....is she really going to be able to compete in the ring?
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh I think she's going to be alright. I've done a bit of research and from what I've seen and heard, she's going to show us a thing or two here tonight.
As this banter was going back and forth, Belle had reached the ring and taken the microphone out of the hands of the announcer. She stood in the middle of the ring with a massive smile on her face that just spoke of how happy she was to be there.
Belle: Hello everyone!
The crowd popped as she paused, or rather was forced to by them. But she just laughed and smiled at their behavior.
Belle: Alright, alright, settle down. Now, I'm sure that you're all eager to get straight to the action, but before we get there, I have a couple of quick words for my opponent tonight. Maxine.....you may not remember this, but we met once, back in the other company.......and I remember you not being very friendly to me. Now tonight, I get to return the favor.
The smile faded just a little bit as she suddenly became a lot more serious.
Belle: I'm not a violent person, Maxine, but for you, I'll make an exception. Tonight, I'm going to bend, stretch, and torture your body until you have no choice but to submit and accept defeat.
That said, she dropped the mic as the crowd watched on, some of the playfulness from earlier gone at the intensity that had appeared in Belle's face. Only time would tell if it would do her any good.[/align]
[i]<-- A simple, worn wooden bench sits alone in front of an open locker. The meager station, one afforded those of her standing within the company, is barely held together by loose welds and chipped paint, the metal work bent in spots and rusted at the corners. She looks down the row at the other pockets, more empty than occupied, and wonders why she bothers appearing in the first place. Even the chance of inflicting pain and causing chaos offers her only a little motivation. And to think this is her big debut. -->
Random Female - "Hrmph... Always one dragging in at the last minute."
MOXIE - "I told your dad to hurry, but he wanted his money's worth..."
<-- The other woman eats her next word with a sour expression. Maxine offers her a sweet, venomous smile and a middle finger. -->
Random Female - "What I mean, rookie, is they'll probably want you at the curtain early. You're opening the show, you and that other one, the redhead... "
<-- Maxine tosses her gym bag down before the aged slot bearing her name and pulls her shirt off over her head, kicking her shoes underneath the bench. Yawning, she turns to the other woman, eyes her strangely, and looks at the door. The other girl rolls her eyes. -->
MOXIE - "Sorry, I'm not bashful or anything, but if I'm letting you watch you're gonna f**king pay."
Random Female - "Bitch..."
MOXIE - "And close the door... Thank you, nameless filler."
<-- The door slams shut with a curse and something about stupid rookies. Maxine smiles, pleased with herself, and finishes undressing. Her ring gear is not very showy, black faux-leather in the modern style, and unlike most her boots are sporty low-tops, though her kickpads hide this feature most of the time. She notes herself in the mirror on the wall to her left, the scar of a past battle running along her side to her back, and the memory of it clouds her for a moment.
...Why the hell is she even here? -->
MOXIE - "Trust me, he said... What a f**king drama queen. WHAT? Jesus, it's unlocked!"
<-- When she pulls the door open, the serious face of some company runner meets hers with a cellphone pressed to one ear and an earpiece in the other. She glares at him and he starts to yell at her about the time and her needing to already be down at the gorilla position for final checks and instruction... However, the poor fellow's words die in his throat and he stands there sputtering incomprehensibly while juggling his phone and the clipboard in his hand at the sight of Maxine's nude form in the doorway. She barely bats an eye. -->
MOXIE - "Well?"
[Stuttering Tech - "I... Uh... Y-You..."
MOXIE - "Awesome... So, obviously you've never seen a pair of these before, so why don't you piss off before you pass out or something and I'll get dressed and go kill whatever dumb slut you've got on the card for me tonight... Okay?"
<-- She starts to retreat inside, but stops turning back to him, something very important coming to mind. -->
MOXIE - "Oh, and if you ever bother me before a match again like this I'll rip your f**king tonsils out through your nose..."
Stuttering Tech - "BELLE... Um, you're opponent... You and Belle."
MOXIE - "Belle... Seriously?"
<-- Maxine rolls her eyes and slams the door in the poor guy's face. He swallows, coughs a bit, and hurries off, his mind racing for explanations to feed MEAN GENE or his boss down in the wings. At least he wasn't the referee... Poor bastard. -->
==== -LATER AFTER BELLE's ENTRANCE - ====
<-- As BELLE drops the microphone the entrance stage flares to life once more, the initial lighting display a precursor to the introduction of the next entrant. The crowd, still unsure of these two, rustles with nervous anticipation, a few calling out support for the perky redhead while others catcall and whistle. GORILLA MONSOON clears his throat and starts to speak, but the beginning swoon of DO IT WITH A ROCKSTAR by Amanda Palmer cuts him off. And with the initial verse, "Do you wanna dance? Do you wanna fight? Do you want to get drunk and stay the night?" Maxine shoves her way through the curtains and out into the lights. -->
BOBBY HEENAN - "Hey, she stole your theme!"
GORILLA MONSOON - "Will you be serious for a moment? Look at the look on her face, Brain... I've heard of being so zeroed in on an opponent, so focused you block out everything around you, but Moxie looks like she'd rather be somewhere else entirely."
BOBBY HEENAN - "Well, can you blame her? I mean, if someone came backstage and made me take off my apron and come out here and wrestle, I'd probably be pretty upset about it too."
GORILLA MONSOON - "Apron?! Are you kidding me? You better hope she didn't hear you say that..."
BOBBY HEENAN - "Like I'd have to worry about that..."
GORILLA MONSOON - "True... Most men don't pay attention to you, so I doubt many of the women would."
<-- The inane chatter babbling onward, Maxine walks down the aisle with a bored look on her face and the posture of one putting up with an irritation. She ignores the few hands outstretched to her, circling the ring while keeping her eyes on Belle, breaking her gaze only to spit at a male fan who violates her personal space by grabbing her arm. Security rushes over at once, though not before she face-palms him backwards with a tirade so profane the production truck mutes the sound on the live feed. -->
BOBBY HEENAN - "Remember what I said before? Me either... Hey look, it's my new favorite female wrestler... What's her name again?"
GORILLA MONSOON - "Will you get a grip on yourself?!"
<-- A moment later, composed again and microphone in hand, she slips underneath the ropes and pulls up onto a knee, leaning back into the corner. The referee orders her to stand, but she ignores him. Only Belle has her attention across the ring. -->
MOXIE - "Hi, Belle... How's that debut working out for you so far?"
<-- Across the ring her opponent reacts with a half-annoyed smirk. Maxine shrugs and continues... -->
MOXIE - "Yeah, I figured, but you always did have a way of fitting into the system, didn't you? Me... Not so much."
<-- She pushes up to her feet, flipping a middle finger at a fan yelling for the action to start off to her right. The Referee warns her and gets a mouthful of obscenities for his trouble. Belle steps forward, but Maxine shoves the official between them and leans through the ropes. Beginning with a brawl wasn't exactly her plan. -->
MOXIE - "Always the eager beaver, but that's another story entirely, I guess... SO ANYWAY, I did plan on coming down here and making a grand entrance and giving a long, serious commentary on who I am and what I'm about and why all of you people here and all those watching at home should sit up and pay attention. I meant to establish BUZZ and HYPE and shove my boobs into the camera... Can I say boobs on Pay-Per-View? Oh, hell, I don't care..."
<-- Belle argues with the referee, clearly irritated by the stalling and passive-aggressive bitch tactics. The official, to his credit, keeps her at bay... For now. His patience is wearing thin too, as is most of those in charge watching from the back. -->
MOXIE - "Anyway, I meant to make an impact and use you, my dearest Belle, as an example to any doubting my worth in this company and as a warning to any chick chomping at the bit to check me in the future... But I've changed my mind."
<-- Maxine straightens and appears serious, if not remorseful. She clears her throat and apologizes to the referee, motioning him out of the way. Belle hesitates, and as Maxine extends a hand, she looks out on the capacity crowd, many of whom now BOO and protest the show of sportsmanship.
As for Maxine, she nods understanding the reservations, but remains there with her hand out to her opponent. She looks at Belle, eyes softening, a sad pull to her pretty face. -->
MOXIE - "I know I've said and done a lot of things and I'm probably not right in the head, but I don't want to start out like that... Not here, not again. Let's do this thing right and show these people watching out here and all those watching in the back that we belong in the WLF... Hell, opening contest? Belle, baby, this is a future main event!"
<-- Belle sighs, the roar of the people near-deafening, and biting her lip slowly reaches out to her opponent's hand. The history between the two, most of it unknown by the eyes watching, sparks something in that moment and against her better judgement and the warning of the crowd, she locks her grip with the smiling blonde. Maxine thanks her, tender words offered away from the microphone's ear, and raises their arms up to the crowd, some clapping in support.
...And then she promptly punts her in the crotch. The boos echo through every inch of the building drowning out Belle's groaning, doubled-over form writhing on the canvas. Maxine ignores them, the angry referee yelling at her, and the shocked faces of the announce team. She simply walks over to the apron, tosses the microphone to the ring announcer, and gives the camera lens a final wink, her voice picked up on its own recorder. -->
MOXIE - "I'd DVR this next bit if I were you... Let's have some fun, shall we?"
Anyone who claimed that kicking a woman below the belt didn't hurt them was clearly not a woman or had never been kicked there because it was clear that it was a painful experience as Belle was on the mat, writhing in pain thanks to Moxie delivering the kick.
Moxie quickly took advantage of the moment of weakness that she'd caused and began to unleash a series of vicious kicks to the body of the bubbly young woman who had made the foolish mistake of thinking that Moxie wasn't as mean or as vicious as she was.
[color=navy]Gorilla Monsoon: And a blatant cheap shot by Moxie to start the match catches Belle unprepared and now she's just going to work on her.
Bobby Heenan: I gotta admit, that was quite the show she just put on. I was almost believing that handshake there. But it looks like we're not going to be seeing any of that sportsmanship nonsense here tonight.
Gorilla Monsoon: And what would've been wrong with that? I think a good, fair contest once in a while is a good thing.
Bobby Heenan: And that's why people don't listen to your opinion, Gorilla. It's these heated matches that people love to see, even if it's between two women that should be having a cook-off and not a match.
Gorilla Monsoon: I'd love to see you say that to either one of these women, Bobby. One or both of them would probably have some choice words for you.
That seemed to take a bit of wind out of Bobby's sails as they returned their attention to the ring where Moxie had dragged Belle to her feet before whipping her into the turnbuckle and following her in with a running shoulder to the midsection. The boos of the crowd seemed to drive her as she drove her shoulder until Belle's stomach again and again and again, forcing the air out of her lungs.
Smirking at her dominance, Moxie slapped Belle across the face as if to get her to do something. And do something Belle did as she threw a wild haymaker, looking to clock the woman who had just slapped the taste out of her mouth. But she missed as Moxie ducked under the blow and instead drove her knee up into Belle's now exposed stomach.
What little air was in her lungs was forced out of them as she dropped to her knees, clearly out of it. And that only got worse for her as Moxie lined her up before delivering a violent kick to the back of Belle's skull. Belle hit the mat like a sack of bricks as the crowd jeered at Moxie as if that was somehow going to change what was happening before them.
Smirking to herself and to the crowd, Moxie dropped to her knees, rolled Belle onto her back and went for the cover.....
<-- The sickening sound of shoe leather on human skull cuts through the ever-growing BOOS and assorted ringside noise, even quieting the broadcast team for a moment. Eyes widen, faces blanch. In the back even the usual detractors of the Women's Division find a television screen, and more than a few higher ups scribble notes into their mobile devices. Scenes like this can make or break someone in the business. Sadly, Maxine cares little for that nonsense anymore.
Watching BELLE crumple to the canvas, she pulls up to her knees and smiles for the flashbulbs and video cameras. She notes the official checking her opponent, the quickened chatter of the announce team, and the shocked reaction from the once angered crowd. Once she lived for these moments, these experiences, this energy. Now, though it all seemed hollow and pointless. Well, nearly so. At least she got paid to hurt people.
...Pissing off the crowd is just a bonus. -->
Referee Korderas - "Hey, I'm in the middle of a ten count!"
MOXIE - "And I'm in the middle of my cycle, what's your point?"
<-- Maxine pulls her foe onto her back and mounts her shoving her forearm across Belle's face while leaning forward to wink at the camera. Belle doesn't move, and the official slaps the mat... But only twice as she jerks her opponent up by the hair to break the count. And with that action a chorus of jeers rise up from the irate crowd. -->
Gorilla Monsoon - "Oh, come on, ref!"
Bobby Heenan - "Guess Maxine's not done yet. You know, I'm beginning to like this girl. She's got spunk and a temper... Kind of reminds me of your ex-wife.."
Gorilla Monsoon - "Well, Maxine's doesn't exactly seem like the type you'd take home to mother..."
Bobby Heenan - "Are you kidding? I've met your mother."
Gorilla Monsoon - "I'm not even gonna dignify that with a... Now, she's slapping her silly! She's not even trying to win the match!"
<--More negativity from the crowd, but Maxine is already blocking them out. Straddling Belle, she smacks her hard across the face more than once, one hand still firmly gripping the girl by the hair. Humiliation? That isn't her style and she could give a damn about the pinfall. No, this is an experiment, a hard prodding to see if the other has anything to offer or if she really is wasting her time. -->
MOXIE - "Wake up, Belle! I'm getting bored and when I get bored I get creative..."
Referee Korderas - "That's enough! Get off of her and let go of her hair!"
MOXIE - "You're such a f**king girl..."
<--The moment she curses the official, she feels Belle shifting her weight. Her opponent arches, shifts to the side, learned limbs slip around and feel through. Maxine releases her quickly and shoves herself backward kicking the other girl in the stomach, pulling her ankle out of reach of a groping hand. She goes into a squat and looks across at her angry opponent on all fours. The glare between those red locks sends a shiver through her.
...This is more like it. -->
MOXIE - "Nice of you to join us..."
BELLE - "I'm gonna pull you apart!"
MOXIE - "Promises, promises..."
<-- Springing forward without warning, Maxine aims a wild strike at her opponent's head, but misses by a mile. She laughs and lunges due to the momentum, nearly stretching into a half split. From her rolled position, Belle pivots and kicks out, her foot hitting the blonde's closest knee dropping her to the canvas. The redhead kips up in an instant, and exploding forward drives her right knee into skull... Now it was her turn to shock the crowd. -->
Gorilla Monsoon - "She floored her!"
Bobby Heenan - "But she isn't covering her! This is why these girls need good manager!"
Gorilla Monsoon - "No, Brain... She isn't interested in a pinfall. She's trying to hook her in a Kimura!"
<-- Flushed and sore, Belle collapses onto her opponent, her mount worked quickly into warping the other into proper positioning for her hold. She slips one arm over and through and grabs the targeted wrist with the other. Dazed, Maxine realizes the trouble too late, and when the redhead falls backward she finds herself locked and her arm being twisted at a severe angle. -->
Referee Koderas - "What do say, Moxie?"
MOXIE - "F************************K!"
<-- Belle cranks further, her strained voice lashing out at Maxine through gritted teeth. -->
BELLE - "I told you... I TOLD YOU! TAP... Tap or I'll rip your frickin' arm off!"
<-- Located near the center of the ring and trapped, Maxine is left with few options. She tries to maneuver, but finds it near impossible given how Belle has her hooked and the ropes are too far away even for her closest foot. A little voice in the back of her head starts laughing at her, at her predicament, and her horrible luck. And to think, this was her big debut, and against Belle of all people. Despite the pain and increasing pressure of the hold, she laughs growing more hysterical with every second. If only more people got the joke she might not look so insane.
And as the referee checks on her again, she realizes one hand is free. She feels it through the agony, senses her fingertips on the canvas, feeling her way across her stomach. Many watching wait for the tap or the signal from the referee, and Belle closes her eyes and accepts the fact this crazy bitch isn't going to just give it up - She might have to snap her arm.
...But then. -->
BELLE - "Wha... What the...?!"
<-- Suddenly, the action halts. Belle's face blushes, a mixture of embarrassment and anger, and she releases her hold and flails wildly trying to push and kick and shove her opponent away. Only when the two part is the mystery revealed and Maxine's free hand pulled from inside the shocked redhead's tights. The crowd is floored, the announce team shellshocked. Belle squats into a near fetal position, upset and angry and mortified. As for her opponent, she rolls out of the ring on the opposite side laughing and favoring her hurt arm.
The camera moves in closer to gauge her expression and Maxine crudely licks her fingers and sticks her tongue out in reply, a crazed grin on her face. -->
Gorilla Monsoon - "...."
Bobby Heenan - "Something tells me she didn't learn that from Karl Gotch..."
Gorilla Monsoon - "Really, Brain? REALLY?"
Bobby Heenan:Do you think she has a name for that move?
Gorilla Monsoon: Will you get your head out of the gutter already? We have a match to call.
Bobby Heenan: And the night had just begun, Gorilla! Can you imagine what else is gonna be in store for us tonight?
Gorilla Monsoon: I’d rather not.
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Monsoon, let your imagination run wild for a moment.
Gorilla Monsoon: I said no.
Bobby Heenan: Spoilsport.
Gorilla Monsoon: Referee Jimmy Korderas is telling Maxine to get back inside the ring, while starting the count at the same time. Moxie, as she often refers to herself, has most definitely gotten into the head of her opponent here in their debut match in the opening contest of World War III.
Belle finally calms herself down and collects her thoughts before darting out of the ring and scrambling after her opponent! The usually bubbly fan favorite lets out an uncommon shriek as she tackles Maxine to the floor!
In the meantime, the referee begins his count on both divas.
Gorilla Monsoon: Belle and Maxine need to watch that count; wouldn’t want to be counted out in their debut match.
Bobby Heenan: Maybe Belle realizes that she’s no match for Maxine and is trying to get herself intentionally counted out.
Gorilla Monsoon: The two girls have been pretty even thus far in my book.
The referee’s count continues.
Belle goes for an Irish Whip, but Maxine reverses it and hip tosses her opponent, back-first, straight into the ringside barricade!
Maxine rolls underneath the bottom rope inside the ring, only for the referee to restart the count, then rolls back outside.
Bobby Heenan: She could’ve won the match right there! Why’d she interrupt the referee?
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, would you believe that first impressions are very important? She probably doesn’t want her first match to end with a countout.
Bobby Heenan: Then you’re more naïve than a baby seal, my friend. I don’t think she even cares about winning or losing, especially not against this clueless redhead. I say she just wants to punish her a little more before giving us a memorable finish.
Gorilla Monsoon: Maxine now just stalking her opponent.
Bobby Heenan: That is one scary woman.
Gorilla Monsoon: She does have a mean streak in her.
Bobby Heenan: What’s the matter with the women nowadays? I thought we’re already maxed out on the psycho meter with Piggy James, then Poison Ivy came along and took the crazy to a whole new level. I don’t even know what to make of this one!
Gorilla Monsoon: Which one’s worse?
Bobby Heenan: That will remain as one of the universe’s unsolved mysteries.
Belle is picking herself up from the floor when Maxine drills her with a forearm shot across the face and knocks her back down. Hopping up on the apron and spotting a cheeky grin, Maxine waits for Belle to slowly regain her feet and, when she was in a crouched position on all fours, dives onto her with both feet right onto the spine in a modified double foot stomp!
In the meantime, referee Jimmy Korderas continues with the count.
Maxine pulls Belle’s head up from the floor by her hair.
Moxie: So how’s the debut workin’ out for ya? Hurts, doesn’t it?
Maxine slides underneath the bottom rope back inside the ring to break the count, on all fours, glaring up at the referee.
Jim Korderas: Come on, Moxie. Keep it in the ring.
Maxine responds to the referee with a callous smirk, then flips the match official the birdie before returning to the outside!
Gorilla Monsoon: The referee’s not having much luck with Maxine.
Bobby Heenan: I don’t know if anyone can put a leash on this one.
Gorilla Monsoon: Korderas can’t do anything else but count. Meanwhile, Maxine appears to be positioning herself to lay another big move on her opponent.
Maxine, like a child on Christmas morning, gleefully waits for Belle to pick herself up from the floor, then launches herself at her opponent with what appears to be her patented running knee strike. Belle spots Maxine advancing on her with the corner of her eye and somehow manages to pull out of the way at the last second as the unstable blonde drives her knee straight into the ringside barricade instead!
Bobby Heenan: I think I heard a bone crack! Can you imagine if she had connected with that move on the ditzy redhead?
Gorilla Monsoon: Maxine could seriously be injured as a result of that collision. Now is Belle’s opportunity to turn things around in her favor if she is to stand a chance of walking out the victor on her debut.
Belle, preferring to fight within the confines of the squared circle, grabs Maxine and rolls her back inside the ring and follows suit. Once back inside, Belle locks Maxine’s legs together and turns her over in a punishing submission maneuver!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ohh, this is for all you Texas fans out there! Belle has got Maxine trapped in a modified Texas Cloverleaf!
Bobby Heenan: She might be small, but this girl has got a vicious streak as well! She knew Moxie was injured and went right after that leg like a shark smelling blood.
Gorilla Monsoon: Maxine is desperately reaching for the ropes, but it’s just beyond her reach! We might be looking at a submission here!
Moxie: ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… YOU B*TCH!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the language you’ve been subjected to here tonight.
Bobby Heenan: So much for PG-13.
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t think we ever were a PG-13 company, Bobby, especially not with the likes of Goldust and Stone Cold Steve Austin on our active roster.
Referee Jimmy Korderas checks on Maxine to see if she was ready to tap out.
Moxie: F****K YOU, KOJAK!!!
In spite of her colorful language, Maxine soldiers on as she continues to struggle against the pain, slowly clawing her way towards the side of the ring. Maxine finally reaches the bottom rope after enduring the pain for at least a good two to three minutes being trapped in the Texas Cloverleaf. Belle reluctantly releases the hold once the referee’s count reaches four to avoid being disqualified.
Maxine pulls away from the danger in the ring to the apparent safety of the ring apron, trying to nurse her injured leg the best she can. Belle, sensing opportunity, sprints across the ring and performs an impressive Belle Breaker (619) on the unsuspecting Maxine, knocking her right off the ring apron and onto the arena floor!
Starting to get a feel for it as the live audience in San Antonio cheers her on, the once again bubbly Belle proceeds to climb to the top turnbuckle, looking to splatter her opponent on the outside. As Maxine is picking herself up from the floor, Belle leaps off the top turnbuckle and launches herself at the psychotic blonde! Maxine, perhaps going on instinct, rotates her body and whacks the advancing Belle with a roundhouse kick right across the face!
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKEREL!!! MAXINE JUST TOOK HER HEAD OFF WITH THAT VICIOUS KICK!!!
Bobby Heenan: Hey, the redhead asked for it! She should’ve let sleeping dogs lie. I always say going to the top is a bad idea, but do they ever listen?
Gorilla Monsoon: Belle might well be knocked out! She’s not moving!
Bobby Heenan: Serves her right!
Gorilla Monsoon: Have a heart, Bobby. She could seriously be injured here.
Maxine peels a semi-conscious Belle off the floor and, carrying her opponent’s deadweight, hoists her up on the ring apron and rolls her back inside. Taking her time now, Maxine walks with renewed confidence, almost assured of a victory, as she returns to the ring, just stalking her opponent. Belle, devastated by the brutal kick to the face, grapples to get her bearings as she struggles to regain her feet.
Maxine, like a vulture circling its prey, moves in for the kill… as she charges ahead and blasts her already groggy opponent with the devastating Facial!
Maxine makes a nonchalant cover on Belle and stares directly into the camera while the referee registers the count.
Maxine blows a kiss into the camera just as the referee counts three.
Bobby Heenan: She did it, Monsoon! That crazy blonde won the match!
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m not sure if she’d appreciate you calling her that.
Bobby Heenan: What, you think I’m afraid of her? I attract crazy women all the time; they flock to me like bees to honey.
Gorilla Monsoon: And you say that proudly.
Bobby Heenan: What’s wrong with that?
Gorilla Monsoon: *sighs* Nevermind. Maxine picks up her first victory here in her very first match in the WLF. But I’ve gotta say, what an impressive debut by both these women; they’ve really hit the ground running. This is only the first of three diva matches scheduled on the pay-per-view; the women’s division is picking up momentum to say the least. And what great additions these two are to the active roster.
Bobby Heenan: But who came out with her hands held high and who’d need to be carried out? I told you that redhead was too small to compete in the WLF.
Gorilla Monsoon: On the contrary, I actually thought Maxine got a little bit lucky with the win. It could’ve gone either way on any other day.
Bobby Heenan: Well it didn’t. So say whatever you want, Monsoon; I’m still not convinced that she could make it as a professional wrestler. Now Maxine on the other hand… mmmm-mmmm-mmmm.
Gorilla Monsoon: Alright, that’s enough from you. Let’s move on. Fans, before our next match, let us take you to a pre-taped segment from our very enigmatic newcomer.
07-08-2013, 10:53 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
BATTLE OF THE LONE STAR STATE
TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH
Josh Arcanum vs Shawn Michaels
The sadistic newcomer will return to his roots to take on a son of Texas in a Texas Bullrope match.
Has the Suicide Phoenix bitten off more than he can chew against HBK and the Dudes with Attitude?
Referee: Teddy Long
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
The scene opens to see Josh Arcanum sitting alone in the darkness. The only source of light was off screen and barely enough to allow those watching to see his face, though the shadows cast over his face added an addition sinister element to his appearance as it highlighted the numerous scar that crossed his face.
Arcanum: At Primetime, I did exactly as I said I would do. I took the Ultimate Warrior and I buried him. I delivered Death From Above and I sent the Ultimate Fool back to Parts Unknown.....may he remain there forever, a reminder of what can happen to those who stand against the Suicide Phoenix.
He paused to allow those words to settle in. While they by themselves didn't seem like much, the violent victory over the Warrior made them seem much more important and menacing. After all, before this it had just been a quick win over Al Snow, who everyone agreed wasn't exactly a big name. But defeating the Warrior the way he had, people had to take him quite a bit more seriously.
Arcanum: So after what I did, what does Gordon do? He books me in a Texas Bullrope match against Shawn Michaels. A match where the only rule is that in order to win I have to drag the bloody carcass of Shawn to each of the four corners. Other than that, I have free reign to do anything that comes to mind.
Another pause to allow people to think on the implications of those words. Given how violent he'd been without such permissions, it was actually terrifying to think of what he could or would do with them.
Arcanum: So I suppose the question is what did Shawn Michaels do to piss of Gordon because that can be the only explanation for why he was chosen for this match. But that matters little at this point because the fact remains he's been placed in it. Which means that tonight, the Heartbreak Kid gets his heart shattered at the same time that I rip his body to pieces. Tonight, the world learns just how vicious, how violent, and yes, how sadistic Josh Arcanum can be when there are no rules......no restrictions.....and no stopping.
The light source in the room went dead, plunging the room into darkness as a few seconds later the feed was cut, sending them back to their regularly scheduled programming....
A short time later, the fans were already on the edge of their seats as they waited for the next contest to begin. Meanwhile Bobby and Gorilla are still recovering from the very physical encounter between newcomers Isabelle Bellacourt and Maxine Minerva May.
Gorilla Monsoon: And what an opening contest it was, huh Bobby? And now we're gearing up for what may very well be the most violent encounter of the night.
Bobby Heenan: Oh yeah, fresh off sending the Warrior back to Part Unknown, hopefully for good, Josh Arcanum is going to take on Shawn Michaels in a Texas Bullrope match. This is gonna be really really interesting.
Gorilla Monsoon: Yes it is...and more importantly, you've got to figure that this is going to have major implications on their performance in the Battle Royal tonight because there's no way either one of them is going to go into it at a hundred percent after this.
Bobby was about to reply to that, but just then the lights went completely off as the opening cords of "The Animal" by Disturbed began to leak through the speakers.
As the song started to pick up, a single spotlight fell onto the stage, revealing the presence of Josh Arcanum there. He stalked towards the ring slowly, taking his time as he always did.
Gorilla Monsoon: And here comes Josh Arcanum, who had some ominous words for Shawn Michaels earlier tonight.
Bobby Heenan: Ominous isn't quite the word I'd use...it was more like a warning than anything else. If I was Michaels, I'd seriously consider not showing in the first place.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh I'm sure Michaels will be here. If nothing else, the brass and cocky man would love to make Arcanum eat his words.
Bobby Heenan: He'll have his chance....I just don't think he'll succeed.
Gorilla had to concede that there was a strong possibility of that being the case as Arcanum reached the ring and the lights came back on. Teddy Long approached him slowly, one end of the strap in hand, gesturing that he had to put it on Arcanum's wrist. After a brief stare, Josh allowed this before leaning back into the corner to wait.....
Bobby Heenan: Here comes the man of the hour, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: We're getting quite the mixed reaction here from the live audience, probably simply because that Shawn Michaels is indeed San Antonio's favorite son. That still does not detract from the fact that he's a complete jerk.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, he's good and he knows it. Nothing wrong with it.
Gorilla Monsoon: Then show it in the ring; stop talking about it.
Bobby Heenan: This will be Arcanum's real test, Monsoon. He was getting it easy thus far.
Gorilla Monsoon: I wouldn't call his encounter with the Ultimate Warrior easy, Brain.
Bobby Heenan: You mean that idiot with the million dollar body and a ten cent brain? He's not in Shawn's league.
Gorilla Monsoon: If Shawn Michaels is supposed to be this greatest thing going on god's green earth, then explain to me why does he need his bodyguard to tag along?
Bobby Heenan: That's no bodyguard; that's his best friend! And Diesel's just there for moral support.
Gorilla Monsoon: He doesn't even have a managerial license, Bobby! The man shouldn't be allowed at ringside!
Shawn Michaels, in his usual comfort zone, prances down the ramp, being flanked by Big Daddy Cool Diesel. The Boy Toy steps between the ropes inside the ring and remains in the corner diagonal from Josh Arcanum. Diesel climbs up on the apron behind Michaels and starts massaging his buddy's shoulders, loosening him up for the physical encounter ahead.
When referee Teddy Long approaches Michaels to strap on the bullrope, the Boy Toy stops the match official dead in his tracks and tells him to hang on.
Shawn Michaels: Whoa-whoa-whoa... let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I usually require a dinner and dance first before I jump into bed with anyone. Now Josh my boy, I know how much you're really looking forward to getting it on with the Heartbreak Kid. It is in fact a dream for many to even be in the same ring as yours truly. Alas, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.
While I have absolutely no doubt in my mind how I will stomp all over you in this little Texas shoot-out, I'm afraid I have a bigger fish to fry so to speak. You see, I already have my sights set on winning this 3-Ring-60-Man Battle Royal later this evening. I simply can't risk spraining my risk or breaking a finger nail in this little dance with you. Ergo... my big friend here is gonna be taking my place in this little Bullrope match.
Just as Shawn Michaels is saying that, he proceeds to attached the other end of the bullrope to Diesel's wrist.
Gorilla Monsoon: Wha... are you kidding me? I can't believe he's pulling this stunt again!
Bobby Heenan: He's right, Monsoon. Why would he risk injuring himself in a match of no consequence when he has the opportunity to win the big one later tonight?
Gorilla Monsoon: I'm not sure if he's even allowed to do that!
Diesel immediately tugs on the bullrope and wrenches Josh Arcanum over the ropes to the outside!
Bobby Heenan: I'm assuming the match has officially begun?
Josh hit the floor hard as his brain quickly caught up to the fact that he was going to have to completely rethink how he was going to handle this match. He was no longer facing a man that was slightly smaller than him, but rather one considerably larger and stronger. He would need to use different tactics, but first he would need to get off the floor.
Gorilla Monsoon: And I'm just getting word that it's official. Diesel is in fact a legal substitution for Shawn Michaels here in this Texas Bullrope match and that may spell disaster for Josh Arcanum.
Bobby Heenan: No doubt. He was all set to face Shawn, but now he's got Diesel and two more different styles you couldn't possibly find. And I'm willing to bet that Josh studied Shawn carefully so now his game plan is all thrown off.
Gorilla Monsoon: Of course it is. But somehow I don't think that's going to present much of an issue for him. We both saw how effectively he handled the Ultimate Warrior last week, so we know he can compete against bigger and stronger men.
Bobby Heenan: But he went in knowing exactly who he was facing and now he's been surprised by a totally different opponent. What he needs is to get some separation from Diesel and formulate a plan.
Of course, Diesel wasn't about to allow him to get any sort of separation, using the rope wrapped around his one arm to keep Josh close while he delivered big, powerful blows with the other, forcing Josh back until he was leaning against the guard rail that separated them from the crowd.
But Josh wasn't one to just take a beating and not give one back. Taking the hits as best as he could, he waited until just one of Diesel's punches came in higher than the rest. Ducking under it, he slipped between the legs of the big man and brought the bullrope up until the unprotected groin of the much larger man.
Gorilla Monsoon: And what a cheap shot by Arcanum there! But there are no rules, so there's nothing that can be done about it!
Bobby Heenan: Yes, that was cheap, but it was brilliant. There's no more effective way to bring someone down than that and Arcanum clearly knows that. And just like that, Josh has control of the match.
Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, the Suicide Phoenix stared down at Diesel, who looking up at him from his knees, his hands still down around his groin trying, too late, to protect it. Wasting no time, Josh wrapped the bullrope around his fist and started to pound it down into the head of the massive man.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Josh right on the attack here, wasting no time on anything else.
Bobby Heenan: And that's not really a shock. Everything we've seen of him basically shows that he wastes no time, he just goes and does what he intends to do. And what he intends to do is win this match and somehow I feel like he's going to do it.
But whether or not it was going to happen remained to be seen as he right now was just trying to ensure that Diesel would stay down long enough for him to really get something going.....
Gorilla Monsoon: You know, the action hasn't hit the ring yet and we've already lost control of this one.
Bobby Heenan: That's not taking anything away from this match though.
Gorilla Monsoon: Exactly. Don't be expecting any headlocks or wristlocks in this encounter. It's gonna be a slugfest all the way.
Bobby Heenan: This is right up Arcanum's alley. We've seen his matches against Al Snow and the Ultimate Warrior; I mean this guy means business.
Gorilla Monsoon: These two need to keep in mind that, as important as this match may be in boosting their individual rankings, they are still expected to compete later in the evening in that big 3-Ring-60-Man Battle Royal. So some strategy would have to come into play here.
Bobby Heenan: That's Shawn's reason for removing himself from this match.
Gorilla Monsoon: No, it's an excuse.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, it's probably the best decision he's ever made. I wouldn't wanna mess with a lunatic like Arcanum moments before what could possibly be my biggest match in my professional career.
Gorilla Monsoon: And I supposed you agree to his call?
Bobby Heenan: Like I said, I would've done the same thing.
Gorilla Monsoon: Then the question is, if Shawn Michaels does not want to be involved in this match, what is he still doing down ringside?
Bobby Heenan: Moral support. You don't expect him to leave his buddy alone with a man whose first name is "suicide" do you?
Gorilla Monsoon: Then maybe he should be wrestling this match on his own instead of replacing himself with his buddy!
Bobby Heenan: Hey, that's why you make friends with seven-foot three-hundred pound wrestlers, for situations like this.
Gorilla Monsoon: Arcanum needs to watch himself; they're awfully close to Shawn Michaels. And the Boy Toy has proven on more than one occasion that he's bend the rules whenever given the opportunity.
Bobby Heenan: What are you talking about, Monsoon? This is a Texas Bullrope match; there are no rules!
Gorilla Monsoon: That's what I'm afraid of.
It does not take long for Shawn Michaels to get physically involved in the altercation. While Josh Arcanum continues to pummel Diesel, the Boy Toy perches himself on the ring apron. As if having eyes in the back of his head, Arcanum manages to sidestep Michaels' aerial assault as the Heartbreak Kid connects with his own associate instead!
Arcanum grabs Michaels by his long blonde locks and tosses HBK over the barricade and into the fans sitting in the front row seats! Then taking advantage of Diesel's dazed condition, the Suicide Phoenix tugs on the bullrope and reels Big Daddy Cool in, face-first, into the steel ringpost!
Josh Arcanum returns to the ring, jumping over the top rope. Prior to that, the newcomer has tied the bullrope around Diesel’s throat in the form of a noose. From within the ring, Arcanum starts tugging at the bullrope and pulling on it with all his might. Diesel, still down on the floor, could feel the bullrope tightening around his throat as he struggles to break free from his captor.
Shawn Michaels, climbing over the guardrail, decides to lend his buddy a hand and once again interjects himself into the match. The Heartbreak Kid runs along the ring apron and, in one swift motion, grabs Arcanum by his hair and dives onto the floor, straddling the Suicide Phoenix, throat-first, across the top rope!
Diesel, with some assistance from Michaels, steps over the ropes back inside the ring. While Big Daddy Cool recovers in the corner, Michaels proceeds to scale the turnbuckles, about to launch an aerial assault on Arcanum in the ring. The Boy Toy launches himself off the top, looking to splatter Arcanum in the middle of the ring…
But the Suicide Phoenix had other plans as he suddenly springs to his feet to greet the incoming Heartbreak Kid!
Gorilla Monsoon: Holy mackerel! Arcanum catches Michaels with a perfectly timed dropkick on his way down!
Bobby Heenan: He knocked the wind right out of the Heartbreak Kid!
Gorilla Monsoon: And Michaels tumbles all the way to the outside!
Bobby Heenan: Wait-a-minute… where’s Shawn going?
Gorilla Monsoon: Where do you think? He’s leaving of course! The Boy Toy’s had enough of the Suicide Phoenix it seems. It’s just typical of Michaels to abandon his friend in his hour of need.
Bobby Heenan: You were just on his case about having no business down ringside only moments ago!
Gorilla Monsoon: I still stand by that remark. But if he was gonna do it anyway, he should at least stay til the end.
Gorilla Monsoon: Josh Arcanum applying a smart strategy here; he’s going after the legs.
Bobby Heenan: Cut the man down to size and he’s no bigger than you are.
Gorilla Monsoon: He might have taken Diesel’s advantage away by attacking the legs. But he’s still gonna have to drag him around the ring to touch those four corners.
Bobby Heenan: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Gorilla Monsoon: Arcanum viciously going after that leg of Big Daddy Cool, stomping and kicking away on the limb.
Bobby Heenan: Use that cowbell, Josh! Smash his kneecap!
Gorilla Monsoon: That’s very unbecoming of you, Bobby, but I think he heard you cause he’s doing just that. Arcanum hammering away on the knee area with that cowbell as Diesel writhes in agony.
Bobby Heenan: Eh? Why’d he stop? Where is he going?
Gorilla Monsoon: Arcanum dragging Diesel by his foot to the corner. He slides underneath the bottom rope to the outside, still holding on to that injured leg of Big Daddy Cool. I don’t like where this is going.
Bobby Heenan: What’s not to like? This is his first pay-per-view in the WLF; he has to impress the higher ups.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Arcanum rams Diesel’s leg against the steel ringpost!
Bobby Heenan: Ooh, I think I heard a bone crack.
Gorilla Monsoon: He’s just getting warmed up. Arcanum once again smashes the limb against the unforgiving steel.
Bobby Heenan: What’s he doing now?
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m not entirely sure what he has in mind, but Arcanum’s tying both of Diesel’s legs together around the ringpost using that bullrope. The Suicide Phoenix returns to the ring and look at him go! Josh Arcanum is stomping the hell out of Big Daddy Cool!
Bobby Heenan: There’s that vicious streak we’ve waited to see!
Gorilla Monsoon: And there’s nothing Diesel can do about it! His legs are tied together around the ringpost!
Bobby Heenan: Hey, what does the referee think he’s doing?
Gorilla Monsoon: He’s trying to free Diesel of course, at least give him a fighting chance.
Bobby Heenan: But why?
Josh Arcanum, in the midst of unleashing his wrath on Diesel, spots the referee trying to free his opponent and decides to take matters into his own hands. The Suicide Phoenix pauses his onslaught on Diesel and delivers a totally unexpected baseball slide on the referee on the outside, kicking the match official to the ground!
Bobby Heenan: Well, I didn’t see that coming.
Gorilla Monsoon: That was totally uncalled for! Why would he strike the referee? It’s gonna cost him some moolahs that’s for sure.
Josh Arcanum arches over as referee Teddy Long was picking himself up from the floor.
Josh Arcanum: I’m only gonna say this once. Stay outta my way.
Bobby Heenan: You had better listen to him, Teddy. This guy don’t play.
Gorilla Monsoon: He had no right putting his hands on the referee like he did.
Bobby Heenan: Well technically he used his feet to…
Gorilla Monsoon: Don’t even go there, Bobby. There’s supposed to be no physical contact between the wrestler and the match official period.
Bobby Heenan: Maybe he missed orientation.
Gorilla Monsoon: It’s still no excuse to strike down a referee. But that momentary distraction has allowed Diesel to capitalize and turn things in his favor once again.
Diesel hurls Arcanum, chest-first, against the steel ringpost, then proceeds to press him above his head and toss him back inside the ring over the ropes. Big Daddy Cool climbs up on the apron and steps over the ropes back inside the squared circle. Diesel, looking at the four corners of the ring, wraps the bullrope around his opponent’s leg and starts dragging him around as he moves to touch the first corner.
Bobby Heenan: He’s already got two corners, Monsoon, and moving on to the third. Arcanum had better do something soon if he intends to stay in this match.
Gorilla Monsoon: Diesel inches away from touching the third cornerpad. Now Arcanum starts kicking Diesel in the back of the leg!
Bobby Heenan: That could work.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, it has most certainly gotten Diesel’s attention. Big Daddy Cool turns away from the corner and he just starts pummeling Arcanum with those thunderous haymakers to the face!
Bobby Heenan: He’s pounding his face into the mat!
Gorilla Monsoon: I guess the big man doesn’t like being interrupted.
Bobby Heenan: And Arcanum gouges him in the eyes. Haha… works like a charm everytime.
Gorilla Monsoon: Arcanum finally getting a moment’s breather here with a rake to the eyes of Big Daddy Cool.
Bobby Heenan: Don’t let up, Josh. Get ‘em! Get ‘em when you have the chance!
Gorilla Monsoon: Hang on a second… what’s this?
Bobby Heenan: He just pulled out something from his tights.
Gorilla Monsoon: It’s a…. a pair of handcuffs?
Gorilla Monsoon: What does he think he’s doing here?
Bobby Heenan: He’s handcuffing himself to the top rope!
Gorilla Monsoon: What in blazes has gotten into him? Why would he even do that? I think this is first time in history where a wrestler has actually handcuffed himself to the ropes!
Bobby Heenan: He’s a genius!
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m sorry, but how is tying yourself to the ropes with a handcuff genius?
Bobby Heenan: Don’t you get it? Now Diesel can’t win the match! He won’t be able to touch all four turnbuckles, not as long as Arcanum is handcuffed to the ropes!
Gorilla Monsoon: And just exactly how is Arcanum planning to win this match then?
Bobby Heenan: … how should I know? I didn’t come up with that plan! What do you keep asking me for? Why don’t you go ask him?!
Gorilla Monsoon: Obviously he didn’t really think this through.
It does not take long for Diesel to recover as he blasts Josh Arcanum with a big boot right across the face. Arcanum’s legs give up from under him as he drops on his knees, his left hand dangling in mid-air, being cuffed to the top rope. Diesel continues with the onslaught, pummeling his opponent into the ground.
Big Daddy Cool lets out a roar as he touches the first turnbuckle, then points at the second one, assured of a victory. But just as Diesel approaches the second turnbuckle, he finds himself being held back! Only then did he realize that Arcanum had handcuffed himself to the ropes, forbidding him from proceeding to the next turnbuckle! Something in Diesel snaps as he unleashes his wrath upon the Suicide Phoenix, further beating him down!
Bobby Heenan: It doesn’t matter how much he beats on him, Monsoon. He’s still not getting his hand loose from those handcuffs.
Gorilla Monsoon: Diesel is desperately trying to yank Arcanum’s hand off the cuffs, but to no avail.
Bobby Heenan: The big man’s getting awfully frustrated.
Gorilla Monsoon: Wouldn’t you be? I’m not sure if this is good strategy being employed by Arcanum here. I can betcha Diesel wouldn’t hesitate a second if he could separate his arms from his body if that means he could win the match.
Bobby Heenan: He’s probably thinking that right now; Diesel’s gone out and he’s retrieved a steel chair from ringside.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh-oh, this can’t be good.
Diesel: I’M GONNA RIP YOUR FREAKING ARM OFF!!!
Bobby Heenan: Big Daddy Cool has just lost his cool.
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t think he’s joking, Bobby. Diesel wields the chair high above his head and he’s about to smash it across Arcanum’s outstretched arm!
Bobby Heenan: What? He’s gonna break it!
Gorilla Monsoon: Diesel lunges in… but Arcanum kicks the chair right back in the face of Big Daddy Cool!
Bobby Heenan: Phew! I thought we were about to witness an amputation on live television!
Gorilla Monsoon: This has been nothing short of a human carwreck. And this is only the second match of the evening!
Bobby Heenan: Hang on! Hang on! Diesel’s not done! He’s coming right back with the steel chair!
Gorilla Monsoon: And once again, Arcanum kicks the chair straight back into his kisser!
Bobby Heenan: What’s Arcanum doing? What’s he doing?
Gorilla Monsoon: I believe he just pulled a key out from his tights; he’s releasing himself from those handcuffs.
Bobby Heenan: Didn’t I tell you he was a genius?
Gorilla Monsoon: That still doesn’t help him solve the fact that he has to lug that seven footer around the ring and touch all four corners in order to win the match.
Bobby Heenan: Ohh, I’m sure he’ll think of something.
Gorilla Monsoon: He better. Cause Diesel’s not gonna stay down for long after only two chairshots.
Bobby Heenan: I don’t think he intends to stop there.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Arcanum clocks Diesel over the head with the cowbell!
Bobby Heenan: Talk about ringing your bell!
Gorilla Monsoon: Now where is he going?
Bobby Heenan: He’s back to the outside? He’s looking for something underneath the ring.
Gorilla Monsoon: What could he be looking for this time? And will somebody tell me why we have so many objects that could be used as weapons stored under the ring?
Bobby Heenan: I think he’s found it!
Gorilla Monsoon: A wrench?
Gorilla Monsoon: He could crack someone’s skull open with that thing!
Bobby Heenan: I think he’s got other plans with it, Gorilla.
Gorilla Monsoon: What does he think he’s doing?
Bobby Heenan: I knew he was a genius! Arcanum’s removing that turnbuckle from the hinges!
Gorilla Monsoon: He’s what?!
Bobby Heenan: The rules clearly state that he must touch all four turnbuckles in order to win the match, but it doesn’t exactly specify how you should do it. Nobody said anything about not being able to do what he’s doing now. This way, he wouldn’t have to carry that big oak around the ring to touch all four turnbuckles! By removing them from the ringposts, he can touch all four turnbuckles in one go! The man’s a genius! That’s one down.
Gorilla Monsoon: This is most certainly unprecedented here. But he’s totally wrecking the ring that took hours to put together! The stage hands won’t be happy.
Bobby Heenan: Who cares about the stage hands?! You’re looking at innovation personified! He’s got two down, going for the third.
Diesel, still favoring his head after the shot with the cowbell earlier, slowly picks himself up from the canvas. Josh Arcanum, busy removing the third turnbuckle, is unaware of his opponent’s recovery. Just when Arcanum finally detaches the third turnbuckle from the ringpost, Diesel comes charging in with an avalanche! Arcanum somehow manages to duck out of the way as Big Daddy Cool goes crashing, head-first, into the blunt end of the ringpost, knocking himself out cold!
Arcanum now, almost spotting a sneer on his face, touches the only turnbuckle that has not been removed from its hinges. The Suicide Phoenix proceeds to tug on the ropes and pull the remaining three turnbuckles to him, touching all three at the same time. Referee Teddy Long shakes his head to the unorthodox nature as to the ending of this match and, wanting no further part of Arcanum, calls for the bell, awarding the victory to the Suicide Phoenix.
Bobby Heenan: Another victim falls at the hands of the Suicide Phoenix. It didn’t matter that he weighed well over three hundred pounds and stood seven feet tall.
Gorilla Monsoon: What a physical encounter this has been. It has certainly gotten the crowd all pumped up for the next match.
Bobby Heenan: To be honest, would either man even be in any condition to compete in that battle royal later this evening? Arcanum’s really taken a pounding and Diesel is literally gonna be a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest!
Gorilla Monsoon: That remains to be seen. At least they have some time to heal up. I would imagine this is no more than a sign of things to come. Just looking at the program… a street fight, a ladder match, a last man standing match and a Lethal Lockdown? I don’t even what to know what that is.
Bobby Heenan: So what you’re saying is that most of these guys who would’ve had a match prior, won’t be competing at a hundred percent in the battle royal?
Gorilla Monsoon: That is almost certain, Bobby.
Bobby Heenan: Unless your name is Shawn Michaels of course.
Gorilla Monsoon: Of course.
Bobby Heenan: But judging from the look on Arcanum’s face, this is only the warm up match for ‘em. He’s gonna have some fun in that battle royal I’m sure.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, before we can do that, we’re gonna have to fix the ring first. I still can’t believe how this match ended.
Bobby Heenan: You’re just envious cause you didn’t think of it first.
Gorilla Monsoon: *shakes his head* Let’s go to a quick commercial, while our ringside technicians put the ring back together, all because of the actions of one man.
07-08-2013, 11:02 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
TRIPLE THREAT TLC MATCH
WLF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Bull Nakano vs Kelly Kelly vs Lita
The Brunette Bombshell and Extreme Diva will get one opportunity to dethrone the female mastodon.
Will Hardcore Country Psycho recover from injury and challenge for the WLF Women's Championship?
Referee: Rita Marie
Announcers: Joey Styles and Paul Heyman
The scene opens up with the reigning WLF Women's Champion Bull Nakano, together with manager Brother Love, in the staging area being interviewed by Todd Pettengill.
Brother Love: Who are you? You are standing next to the most dominant WLF Women's Champion ever to set foot in a wrestling ring. Do we not deserve the first tier interviewers? Like that bald headed stooge Okerlund? Or maybe even the English old lady with a muffin top... what's his name Alfred? Why are we being assigned a total nobody like you?!
Todd Pettengill: Well I'm not exactly a nobody. I roll with the Dudes...
Bull Nakano glares at Pettengill and he shuts up almost immediately.
Brother Love: Know when it is your time to speak. Speak out of turn and sister Nakano may be forced to exercise her freedom of expression. Now allow me a quick second to address my brothers and sisters here in the great state of Texas.
Turns to the camera.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Now before we go any further, I have no choice but to voice my frustration at the lack of competition the WLF has to offer my client. While it may be true that Mickie James could have provided somewhat of a challenge to sister Nakano in a one-on-one situation, sister James has proven to be more injury prone than Tony Parker. So what are we left to deal with? A clueless ditz who has to spell her first name twice and little miss gothica whom we've beaten ten times over? Where is the challenge in that? And the powers that be had the nerve to take the championship belt from us, our championship belt, just so they can hang it as a trophy from the rafters? You know, I'm actually glad that you suits decided to make this a TLC Match. In other words, my client is free to use tables, ladders and chairs without any concern of a disqualification or an unelightened referee stopping the match. And given the fact that this is World War III afterall, do expect some bloodshed and some broken bones once sister Nakano wipes the floor with her non-challengers here tonight.
Back in the arena.
Joey Styles: Brother Love sounds awfully confident of a victory in this match.
Paul Heyman: Wouldn't you be? Kelly Kelly and Lita? I mean, I like CM Punk. But even with him as a mentor, there's no way Kelly Kelly can hold her own against Bull Nakano. That woman is a beast!
Joey Styles: Speaking of which, here they come. Brother Love leading the way of course.
Paul Heyman: As all great managers should. You stand in the frontline, ready to take the bullet for your clients.
Joey Styles: You sure it's not because he wants to bask in the limelight?
Paul Heyman: How dare you accuse Brother Love of such a trivial sin. He's a man of the cloth, Styles. He holds no such desires, but to see his clients succeed.
Joey Styles: I'm sure. Hey, wait-a-minute... what's Nakano doing?
Paul Heyman: What does it look like she's doing?
Joey Styles: She's tossing whatever she could get her hands on into the ring! What's going on here? She's filling the ring up with tables, ladders and chairs!
Paul Heyman: That's what this match is about, right?
Joey Styles: And now the reigning WLF Women's Champion finally climbs inside the ring and stands amidst all the furniture she's amassed in the middle of the ring!
Lord Alfred: I am standing here with Lita who in a few moments time will be in a triple threat title match. This title match will be for the women's title against the champion, Bull Nakano and Kelly Kelly. Lita was not originally scheduled for this match. Lita lost to Kelly Kelly last week. Mickie James pulled out this week with an injury opening the door for Lita.
Lita: Thank you, Alfred. I must count my lucky stars after losing last week. I thought I would not be booked at all for this card after losing. I am sorry that Mickie James fell down through injury. I am truly sorry about that as she deserves the spot more then me. I will try my best for Mickie and who knows...... I may walk away as the next champion.
Lord Alfred: This is a table ladders and chairs match. The title is suspended above the ring. The only way to get the title is to climb the ladder. This match suits someone who is quick on there feet. You are one of the quickest women on there feet, at this moment in time.
Lita: This is a perfect match for me to get a rematch. All I have to do is climb the ladder and grab the title. There is no need to beat Bull down to try and get a pin. I just have to be quicker then her when I can find a moment or two.
Lita walks away from Alfred Hayes. Lita stands near the curtain, nearly ready for her entrance.
Lita walks down the ramp stopping at the bottom of the ramp. Bull has got a lot of weapons in the ring already. Lita knows she has to be smart about this so she waits outside of the ring as they wait for Kelly Kelly. Lita hopes Kelly Kelly and her might be able to work together to take down Bull.
Joey Styles: We have two of the three people in the match down ringside already and we await for the last participant which is the Brunette Bombshell Kelly Kelly and last week Kelly Kelly defeated that woman standing in the ring Lita to get in this match but thanks to an injury to Mickie James Lita has taken the spot of Mickie James.
Paul Heyman: It won't matter because Bull Nakano is going to blow through both Kelly Kelly and Lita anyway and one or maybe both of these Divas will be going to a San Antonio hospital when we are done with this match.
Joey Styles: Kelly Kelly has been on a roll these past two weeks even though her wins have been controversial.
Paul Heyman: Controversial! Oh please Kelly Kelly has proved that she's better than Lita and just maybe if she plays it smart she might actually have a shot at winning the championship..
Joey Styles: I wonder if we are going to be in the presence of CM Punk once again, someone needs to tell him to stop coming out here for commentary.
Paul Heyman: CM Punk takes orders from no one and does what he wants whenever he wants.
Joey Styles: Anyway lets just go backstage where the WLFs own Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by with the couple of CM Punk and Kelly Kelly, take it away Mean Gene.
Mean Gene: Thanks Joey and Paul I'm indeed standing by with the Best in the World CM Punk and his girlfriend the Brunette Bombshell Kelly Kelly and tonight you face Bull Nakano and Lita who was a injury replacement for Mickie James in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match and tonight the Women's Championship is on the line and many people have questioned that you don't belong in this match because you've been getting helped from CM Punk in your matches against Lita the past two weeks.
CM Punk: Woah Woah!! You better watch your mouth there Okerlund because Kelly Kelly belongs in this match more than Lita does because if I recalled Kelly Kelly has defeated Lita two weeks in a roll to get into this match and now Lita gets Piggie James spot in this match, I mean out of all of the Divas here in the WLF you pick Lita who has been on a losing streak in the match. You see tonight Kelly Kelly here will prove to all of those people called fans that she belongs in this match and tonight I can feel its going to be her night and she's going to go out there climb the ladder and pull the Wrestling Legends Federation Women's Championship down from the ceiling because I know for a fact Lita is to stupid to do it and I don't know how Bull Nakano is even going to climb the ladder. Tonight begins a new dawn in the WLF, lets go Kelly you got a championship to win.
Back to ringside:
CM Punks music hits and out comes the Best in the World and the Brunette Bombshell and they are greeted by a surprised mixed reaction from the fans here in the San Antonio and they walk down the ramp and Punk makes his way towards the announce table.
Kelly Kelly walks up to Lita at the bottom of the ramp, as if suggesting that she might be interested in working together... but instead, pushes the Extreme Diva down on the floor, even spotting a smirk on her face as if to say "I don't need your help."
Joey Styles: She's gonna go at it alone against Bull Nakano? Is she being stupid?
CM Punk: Hey, you watch what you're saying there, Styles.
Kelly Kelly steps between the ropes and walks right into a spear from Bull Nakano!
Joey Styles: OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GAWDDDDDDD!!! HER BODY HAS GOTTA BE BROKEN IN HALF!!!
Lita was sitting up after being pushed down by Kelly Kelly. Kelly seems to think that she can take on Bull all by herself. Lita watches as Bull lines Kelly up. Lita watches as Bull runs across the ring.
Lita: Oh my god.
Lita watches as Bull drives one of the hardest spears that Lita has ever seen. Lita looks down to see Kelly Kelly in so much pain from that move that she is barely moving. Bull is now standing over Kelly Kelly.
Lita looks at the face of Bull as Lita stands to her feet. Lita watches as Bull backs up offering Lita too hop into the ring. Lita slowly climbs the stairs on the outside keeping her eye on Bull. Lita slowly climbs into the ring not taking her eyes of Bull.
The various weapons litter the ring, including a ladder, a table and some chairs. Lita is quick to grab a chair so she has some defense against Bull Nakano. Bull must see that as an invitation as she grabs a chair as well.
Joey Styles: We are about to have dueling chairs.
Lita stepping over some of the chairs, stands near the laying down ladder in the middle of the ring. Bull steps in to the middle, stepping over the flat table. Both girls swing the chairs at the same time.
The sound of two chairs echoing can be heard all the way around the arena. Bull is able to put much more power into her swing with her bigger upper body. The vibration of the chairs makes Lita's body shake a lot more then Bull's does. Lita is put of for a moment giving Bull the upper hand. Bull swings the chair again hitting Lita square in the fingers on the right hand.
The force of the chair hitting Lita's fingers and right hand instantly makes her drop the chair in pain. Lita is quick to dive out of the ring to look at her fingers.
Lita looks at one finger that is bloodied from the attack. There is nothing broken but her right hand is in a lot of pain from the smack of the chair. Bull Nakano with an evil smile as she looks at Lita. Bull looks at Kelly for a moment but Kelly is still holding her body in a lot of pain and hasn't moved. Bull looks back at Lita as Lita again starts climbing the ring steps. Lita holds her hand as she stands on the ring apron. Her hand and finger not broken but in pain. Blood showing on her finger and her hand a bit tingly. Lita climbs back into the ring.
Bull Nakano charges straight ahead at Lita with the chair in hand. Lita, quick to respond, dropkicks the steel chair right back in the face of female mastodon! Lita follows up with another assault, gripping Nakano by the jaw and smashing the back of her skull right onto the unforgiving canvas!
Joey Styles: Lita is starting to pick up some pace.
Paul Heyman:This is only temporary, Styles.
Joey Styles: I'd like to think that Lita stands as much of a chance of winning this as do Bull Nakano or Kelly Kelly.
Paul Heyman: Then you're either drunk or delusional.
Joey Styles: Lita now climbing to the top turnbuckle; might be a little too early for that. I don't think Nakano's in a compromised enough position.
CM Punk: Well, Lita has never come across to me as the smartest of the lot.
Joey Styles: And I suppose you deem Kelly Kelly an intellect?
Paul Heyman: You're treading on dangerous grounds, Styles.
Joey Styles: Speaking of which, Kelly Kelly's back up! And she pushes Lita right off the turnbuckle and sends her plummeting all the way down to the arena floor!
Paul Heyman: That looked like a pretty bad fall. I'm not sure if she can pick herself up after that.
Joey Styles: There's not a hint of remorse on Kelly Kelly's face. And now the Brunette Bombshell picks up a steel chair.
CM Punk: Now the fun begins.
Kelly Kelly waits for Bull Nakano to sit up, then repeatedly smashes the reigning WLF Women's Champion with the steel chair!
Joey Styles: GOOD GAWDDDD!!! How many of those chairshots can Bull Nakano take?
Paul Heyman: Kelly Kelly's showing exactly how much she wants that title!
CM Punk: Absolutely. And when I win that 60-Man Battle Royal here tonight, I will go on to wrest that WLF Heavyweight Championship away from whomever it is and we will be the most prominent championship couple the wrestling world has ever laid eyes on.
Kelly Kelly takes one final swing and Bull Nakano goes down like a sack of potatoes and might be out but Kelly Kelly looks like she's not done yet as she's rolling to the outside of the ring and pulls out a table and rolls it into the ring.
Joey Styles: Kelly Kelly has something evil on her mind as she sets up the table in the middle of the ring and then climbs the the turnbuckle and goes to the top rope and is waiting for Bull Nakano to get to her feet and she's up and Kelly jumps and Oh My! Bull catches Kelly Kelly in mid air and connects with a Powerbomb sending Kelly crashing through the table!!!
Fans: Holy Shit, Holy Shit!!!
Paul Heyman: Good gracious Kelly Kelly's got to be broken in half after that move and now Bull Nakano goes and picks up the chair that Kelly was using earlier and she's going to use it on Kelly.
We see Bull Nakano about to swing the chair when Lita throws a ladder into the ring and it hits Bull Nakano and she drops the chair and now Lita picks it up and whacks Bull Bakano on the leg with it, and does it again as Bull goes down to the mat with her leg seething in pain. Lita not done picks up the chair and wraps it around the leg of Bull Nakano and stomps on her leg ten times as she picks up the ladder and sets it up on the middle of the ring and begins climbing to the top.
Paul Heyman: Come on someone needs to stop her, Bull or Kelly you need to get up because no one wants her as a champion.
Midway up the ladder, staring up at the WLF Women's Championship belt hanging above her head, Lita starts having second thoughts. The Extreme Diva glances back at Bull Nakano still down on the mat favoring her leg. In a move that befuddles everyone in the arena, Lita climbs down from the ladder.
Paul Heyman: Wh-what-what what is she doing? She's almost there! The belt is inches away from her grasp!
Joey Styles: I'm not quite sure, Paul. I don't think this has ever happened before in a ladder match setting.
Paul Heyman: Does she not want to win the match?
CM Punk: Hey, maybe she knows she's not good enough to hold the title.
Joey Styles: I don't think that's the case at all, gentlemen. Lita is picking up a chair as we speak and I believe she's got her eye on the female mastodon.
Paul Heyman: I don't like that look in her eye.
Joey Styles: She's straddling Nakano's already injured leg between that chair. I don't like where this is going, guys.
Paul Heyman: AND LITA STOMPS RIGHT ON THE CHAIR!!!
Joey Styles: OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GAWWWWWDDDDDDDD!!! SHE COULD'VE CRUSHED NAKANO'S ANKLE!!!
Paul Heyman: I never thought I'd see that from someone like Lita.
Joey Styles: Why do you think they call her the Extreme Diva? This is actually a very smart strategy being employed by Lita here. Not only is it extremely painful for her opponent, she's ensuring that Bull Nakano won't be able to climb that ladder to retrieve the gold.
Paul Heyman: That's true. You can't climb on one leg.
CM Punk: So who's the monster now?
Joey Styles: I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting to see this kind of tenacity from Lita.
Paul Heyman: This might well be her final shot at the WLF Women's Championship in a long time. Besides, it wasn't even really supposed to be her shot here tonight. She's a bloody substitute! So she has to prove why she belongs here.
Joey Styles: Lita now satisfied with her work picks up the ladder once again and sets in up in the middle of the ring and begins climbing and she's halfway there and wait Kelly Kelly is back in the ring and she grabs the ladder and tips it over and Lita falls all the way to the outside through some tables that were placed on the outside and Lita is not moving folks.
CM Punk: Thata Girl Kelly now get back in the ring and do some damage,oh look at Lita she's sprawled out just like she was the last two weeks but this time it's between tables.
Paul Heyman: Kelly Kelly getting in the ring and grabs the tree trunks of Bull Nakano and she grabs the leg and wraps around and drops a Elbow drop right in the thigh section of Bull Nakano. Kelly Kelly now rolling to the outside and grabs another table and rolls it in the ring and sets it up in the corner and lifts the dead weight of Bull Nakano and leans her against the table in the corner and goes to the other side of the ring. Kelly Kelly charges and nails a Handspring Back Elbow which sends Nakano crashing through the table and Bull is in a sitting position leaning against the turnbuckle.
CM Punk: Kelly Kelly has her right where she wants her as she gets out of the corner and begins shaking her ass, wow just look at that tush of Kelly shaking.
Joey Styles: Will you just focus on the match as Kelly Kelly is setting Bull Nakano up for the Stink Face and she charges and wipes her behind in the face of Bull Nakano, yuck what a disgusting move by Kelly.
CM Punk: Hey she should be relieved that its not that smelly Perfect Pyles who's putting his butt in her face, heck Kelly Kelly can put her butt in my face all the time,if you catch my drift.
Paul Heyman: Touché.
Joey Styles: Will you two stop we have kids watching and we are live on PPV.
CM Punk: You really think I care Styles.
Joey Styles: Kelly Kelly setting up the ladder as Lita begins to shake the cobwebs on the outside.
Kelly Kelly begins to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring. Kelly Kelly is hurting from going through the table and from the earlier spear. Kelly Kelly slower then normal as she finishes setting up the ladder under the title as it swing above her.
Kelly Kelly: This is mine.
Kelly Kelly looks at Bull who is still in the corner. Bull is checking on her ankle to see how badly it is hurt after that vicious shot by Lita. Kelly Kelly slowly walks to the ring ropes where she sees Lita. Kelly Kelly looks down seeing Lita has barely moved since landing awkwardly on her head and neck.
Kelly Kelly: This is mine, for sure.
Kelly Kelly slowly hobbles back to where the ladder is placed. Kelly Kelly is not watching Bull Nakano as she is very slowly beginning to test her ankle out. Kelly Kelly only has eyes for the gold up top. Kelly Kelly begins climbing the ladder very slowly.
Cm Punk: YOU CAN DO IT!
Kelly Kelly climbs to the first step of the ladder where she stops for a moment. Her heart now beginning to race a bit more as she puts her body under pressure. Kelly Kelly's right legs now climbs to the second rung of the ladder. Her left leg joins her a moment later. Kelly again stops and takes a deep breath of air. Kelly's lungs screaming for some air as they are beginning to burn.
Cm Punk: YOU CAN DO IT DARLING!
Kelly's head now tilt upwards as she starts to get her leg up to the third step of the ladder. Her body is aching from the attack so far. Kelly's left leg now onto the third step as Kelly's hands now rest on the top of the ladder. Kelly eyes still only staring at that gold. She has no idea what is happening beneath her.
Bull Nakano is the biggest threat to Kelly Kelly's title reign beginning. Bull is now back to her feet but most of her weight is being supported on her one leg. Her other ankle can barely support any weight at this time after Lita's attack. Bull sees Kelly Kelly on the third rung of the ladder. Bull cannot see Lita so she knows she must stop this. Bull starts to very slowly limp.
Cm Punk: CLIMB KELLY!
Kelly cannot hear CM Punk as she slowly starts to work on the fourth rung of the ladder. She swings her right leg over the fourth rung of the ladder. Her left leg soon follows as she is now near the top. The title just in reach of the very tip of her fingers but not enough for her to get a full grasp on it.
Kelly is aching now as she swings her right leg over the last rung of the ladder. Kelly knows she is so close to her destiny. Kelly is about swing her tired leg over the last rung and climb the ladder with her sore body when she is suddenly grabbed from behind. Bull on one leg has now ahold of Kelly's hair but without one leg is struggling to get a fighting Kelly off the ladder.
Lita on the outside has no idea what is going on in the inside as she is only just starting to figure out shapes and colors again as her head starts to try to clear the cobwebs out of her brain. Lita has no idea whether the match is still going or whether someone has won as she slowly rolls over onto her back. Lita now sees the lights as they shine onto her eyes. The lights shining hurt Lita's eyes a bit but also bring back a couple of her senses as light is often a stimulate.
Lita can feel some pain on her neck from that last fall. The fall of her off the ladder crashing down hard on her neck. She knows nothing is broken but she is in pain. Lita has a bit of a headache from twice now crashing onto her head.
Lita now rolls back onto her stomach and begins slowly dragging her body along the ground as she looks for something to maybe help her get back to her feet.
Kelly Kelly is trying to hold on tight to the ladder with all of her strength, at first she's doing a great job but Bull Nakano finally on one leg gets a good grasps on Kelly Kelly's hair and just yanks her down hard to the mat sending her crashing down to the mat again.
Joey Styles: Kelly Kelly coming up just short on that attempt and now she's down face first on the canvas.
Paul Heyman: Yeah but Bull Nakano is physically on one leg at the moment as she's limping around the ring.
Meanwhile on the outside Lita crawls on the guard until she gets to the steel steps and she uses those to pull her up slowly and takes a few seconds on the outside and gets back in the ring where Bull Nakano is waiting for her but the Extreme Diva now ducks a punch attempt just barley though as she kicks Bull in the right leg again and she goes down. Lita now picks up the ladder and places it down on the mat face down and positions it how she wants it and picks up the dead weight that is Bull Nakano and places her on top of the ladder.
Joey Styles: Lita now holding her neck and head as she slowly heads to the turnbuckle and begins climbing it. Lita gets to the top turnbuckle and steadies herself and jumps and oh my! She connects with a Noonsault on Bull Nakano who was on the ladder and now Lita is holding her ribs as all three divas are down and hurt.
Paul Heyman: The first diva to get to her feet will gain the momentum.
Kelly Kelly is the first diva to her feet, looking high up at the WLF Women’s Championship hanging from the rafters and still beyond her reach. The Brunette Bombshell repositions the ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring.
CM Punk: This is it, gentlemen. You are looking at the new WLF Women’s Champion.
Joey Styles: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. It’s not over until the fat lady sings.
Paul Heyman: You wanna hear Bull Nakano sing?
Joey Styles: Did you just call Bull Nakano fat?
CM Punk: What’s the matter with you clowns? We’re at the cusp of a historical making moment in the WLF and you’re talking about fat ladies?
Joey Styles: Lita is back on her feet as well.
Paul Heyman: Kelly Kelly had better hurry up if she plans on winning this.
Joey Styles: Lita is beginning her ascent; she’s climbing up on the other side of the ladder.
Paul Heyman: You know this won’t be ending well for at least one of them.
Joey Styles: Lita and Kelly Kelly meets at the top… they’re trading blows at the top of the ladder!
CM Punk: Come on, Kelly! Knock her off the ladder! The title is right there for the taking! It’s yours! Just reach out and grab it!
Joey Styles: It appears that Kelly Kelly is losing out in the slugfest. Bull Nakano slowly getting back to her feet at the same time.
Paul Heyman: Whoa-whoa-whoa… what does she think she’s doing?
Joey Styles: Lita has Kelly Kelly in a front facelock; I think she’s going for a suplex.
Paul Heyman: Off the top of the ladder? Is she insane?!
Joey Styles: Insane doesn’t begin to describe it! Look at this! Bull Nakano is climbing up after Lita… I believe she’s going for a powerbomb!
Paul Heyman: Oh, this is gonna be a car wreck.
Joey Styles: OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER….
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!
Joey Styles: OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GAWDDDDDDDDDDD!!! WHAT A MOVE OFF THE LADDER!!! THEY HAVE BEEN TOTALLY DECIMATED!!!
Paul Heyman: THAT IS THE REASON WHY I GOT INTO THIS BUSINESS!!!
Joey Styles: Kelly Kelly has gotta be feeling the worst between the three, though I don’t think Nakano nor Lita escaped the impact.
Paul Heyman: Their bones have gotta be shattered the way they hit the ring!
The video runs an instant replay of the high impact move off the ladder.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!!! *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* THIS IS AWESOME!!! *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*
Joey Styles: The live audience showing their appreciation for the sacrifice that these divas are putting themselves through to entertain them.
Paul Heyman: I’m not sure how much that’s gonna help any of these girls, Styles. I’m not sure if any of them can even get back up.
Joey Styles: Bull Nakano is starting to stir.
Paul Heyman: Well, she can take her sweet time climbing up that ladder. I don’t think any of her challengers are in any condition to stop her now.
Joey Styles: Nakano appears to be having a hard time with her leg. This is of course the result of the onslaught by Kelly Kelly earlier with those vicious chairshots.
Paul Heyman: Oh, she’s gonna have a problem climbing up the ladder with one leg.
CM Punk: Why did you think she did that in the first place? We knew it would come to this. We are prepared. If we can’t take that gold, then we’re gonna make damn sure that nobody’s taking it!
Joey Styles: Bull Nakano gritting her teeth and slowly making her way up the ladder, one rung at a time.
Paul Heyman: You can see Nanako grimacing in pain. And if the tough-as-nails champion is actually showing emotions on her face, you know for a fact that it really really hurts.
Bull Nakano could not even make it halfway up the ladder before falling off, gripping her leg in agony. The female mastodon, in a fit of rage, grabs the ladder, folds it back up and slams it right on top of Kelly Kelly!
Joey Styles: MYYYY GAWDDDDDDD!!! NAKANO JUST SLAMMED THE LADDER RIGHT ONTOP OF KELLY KELLY!!!
Paul Heyman: She’s most likely suffering from internal injuries after that! If her bones weren’t broken from that fall earlier, I can almost guarantee you they’re broken now.
The camera gets a quick shot of CM Punk’s face, now spotting a scowl with a definite concerned look for the well-being of the Brunette Bombshell.
Joey Styles: We might need the paramedics down ringside.
Paul Heyman: Why don’t you hold that thought; I think Nakano’s just getting started. She might only have one leg, but that’s not stopping her from wreaking havoc and destruction in that ring.
Joey Styles: Nakano now has her sights set on Lita.
Paul Heyman: Cause there’s nobody else in there! It’s a simple process of elimination.
Bull Nakano pulls Lita back to her feet. The Extreme Diva tries to fight her way out of Nakano’s grasp, but her feeble attempts are no more than ant bites to the female mastodon. Nakano hoists Lita up on her shoulders, then powerbombs her straight onto the ladder that’s being conveniently placed on top of Kelly Kelly!
Paul Heyman: That’s like killing two birds with one powerbomb!
Joey Styles: Bull Nakano has effectively removed both her obstacles in this match, but there’s still one problem… she can’t climb!
Paul Heyman: So where does that leave us?
The match is suddenly disrupted by the playing of an all too familiar theme!
The live audience in the Alamodome erupts!
Paul Heyman: What the heck is going on here?
Joey Styles: IT’S MICKIE JAMES!!! SHE’S HERE IN SAN ANTONIO AFTERALL!!!
Paul Heyman: Yeah, but what is she doing out here?
Joey Styles: I think your question is about to be answered cause Mickie James is making a beeline for the ring!
Paul Heyman: She wouldn’t dare!
Joey Styles: Mickie James ducks under a clothesline from Bull Nakano… and she retaliates with the Mick Kick! The female mastodon goes down!
Paul Heyman: Hey, what does she think she’s doing?
CM Punk: She can’t be going after the belt?
Joey Styles: That’s exactly what she’s doing! Mickie James is climbing up the ladder and making her way towards the WLF Women’s Championship belt!
Paul Heyman: But she’s not even involved in this match! She had been replaced!
Joey Styles: Well, she’s involved now.
Paul Heyman: I can’t believe what I’m witnessing here; this is travesty!
Joey Styles: With no one standing in her way, Mickie retrieves the WLF Women’s Championship! She’s got the belt!
Paul Heyman: And why are they calling for the bell? She’s not even booked on the card!
Paul Heyman: That’s Bull Nakano’s belt she’s holding up!
Joey Styles: That’s an arguable point now; they say possession’s nine tenths of the law.
Paul Heyman: This is wrong, Joey, and you know it.
Joey Styles: Well, Mickie most certainly makes a much more popular champion as compared to Bull Nakano. Having said that, I’m not sure how the WLF powers that be are gonna deal with this one.
Paul Heyman: The only right thing to do is to hand the title back to Nakano where it belongs.
Joey Styles: I don’t know about that. The rules of a ladder match are quite implicit; the only rule that really applies here is that the winner and champion will be the one who retrieves the title. The anomaly here is of course the fact that Mickie James has not been booked in this triple threat match.
Paul Heyman: Which means she has absolutely no right to climb that ladder and retrieve the belt.
Joey Styles: This night is certainly not short on controversies. The fate of the WLF Women’s Championship is entirely in the hands of the management now. But the event must continue, so we’ll pass you back to our broadcast colleagues, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby the Brain Heenan.
07-08-2013, 11:11 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
WLF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Davey Boy Smith vs Jeff Jarrett
Two title belts will hang from the rafters as the Chosen One and the Bulldog battle to stake claim.
Which superstar will walk out of World War III as the undisputed WLF Intercontinental Champion?
Referee: Charles Robinson
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
Gorilla Monsoon: Welcome back folks and coming up next we have the Intercontinental Championships on the line and they will be suspended twenty feet high n the air as the British Bulldog meets the Self Proclaim Chosen One Jeff Jarrett in a Ladder Match and tonight there won't be two title belts no more as the winner tonight walks away as the Undisputed Intercontinental Championship. This all started many weeks ago when Jeff Jarrett returned from an injury, while he was injured we crowned a new champion in the British Bulldog as he defeated Lord Steven Regal to win the championship thanks to Jeff Jarrett. Then e next week Jeff Jarrett came out and proclaim that he never lost the title and it all ends tonight. Is Jeff Jarrett going to become the champion or will the British Bulldog walk out of World War 3 with the Undisputed Intercontinental Championship.
Bobby Heenan: He sure will because the British Bulldog is an imposter and shouldn't even be declared the champ and tonight the Chosen One will fix this injustice when he defeats the Bulldog and recapture the championship and we could finally have a Intercontinental Champion who we can look up too.
Gorilla Monsoon: So your saying no one looks up to the British Bulldog, well these fans here in San Antonio disagree with you partner.
Bobby Heenan: These humanoids don't understand true greatness when they see it, heck that's why the San Antonio Spurs lost in the NBA championship to the Heat because everyone knows the Heat are way better than the Spurs any day of the week. You see just like the Spurs the British Bulldog will lose so bad maybe he will do us all a favor and leave the WLF.
Gorilla Monsoon: Okay first of all your comparing the Bulldog to the San Antonio Spurs and Jeff Jarrett as the Miami Heat, oh please and second of all the British Bulldog will never leave the WLF. I'm hearing that we have some pre recorded comments from the British Bulldog, lets take it away.
Pre Recorded comment:
The British Bulldog is seen getting ready for his match at World War 3 and it looks he's at his house in London, England as we see the Union Jack in the background and he's sitting down in a chair.
British Bulldog: This Sunday Jeff at World War 3 you won't be walking out as the Undisputed Intercontinental Champion because I have so much to fight for while you on the other hand just want to win for your own good. Jeff I was getting sick and tire of you proclaiming at you should still be the champ well its not my fault you had to forfeit the championship. You want to cost the fans of seeing a great match well tonight you won't be able to do that.
Jeff we meet in one of the most dangerous matches in professional history the ladder match and its going to be a war and I with England on my side will defeat you, Jeff get ready because you war will be beginning.
Back to ringside:
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog making things short and sweet here tonight and lets go to Howard Finkel for the introduction.
Howard Finkel: This next contest is a ladder match and is for the Undisputed Intercontinental Championship, the only way of winning is by climbing a ladder and retrieving both titles. First coming down the aisle from London, England he's Davey Boy Smith, The British Bulldog!!!
Rule Britannia hits and out comes the Bulldog to a great reception from the fans here in the Alamodome. Bulldog walks down the ramp slapping hands of fans at ringside and then climbs the steps and gets in to the ring. He looks up at the two belts hanging from the rafters as he waits for Jeff
Gorilla Monsoon - Well Davey Boy Smith certainly looks ready to finally get Jarrett in the ring one on one and prove once and for all who the real WLF Intercontinental Champion is
Bobby Heenan - That's right Monsoon....he is ready to prove why he is no match for Jeff Jarrett and why he was just the imposter keeping the position warm for Jarrett during his absence.
Gorilla Monsoon - Will you be serious. Lets go back to Mean Gene with some pre recorded comments with the former Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett
The camera cuts back to Mean gene who has Jeff Jarrett standing with him
Mean Gene - Thank you Gorilla, indeed I do have the former WLF Intercontinental Cham.....
Jeff Jarrett - What do you mean former? I never lost the belt therefore I am still the reigning WLF Intercontinental champions...and after tonight once I put that ugly mutt out of his misery there will be no doubt in anyone's mind
Mean Gene - Easier said than done. Let's take you back to three weeks ago....
While Mean Gene is speaking a clip is rolling of the ending of the Regal/Bulldog Match on Primetime
Mean Gene - ......Regal and Bulldog one on one WLF Intercontinental Title rematch.....was another classic and ruined as we see you come out from the crowd with an object that we now know was your version of the WLF Intercontinetnal Title to cost Regal the match
Jeff Jarrett - Ain't I great? Pure brlliance on my part....Here we have two mediocre wrestlers boring the crowd to death....the show sure went downhill while I was gone. Two guys fighting for a title neither owned so I figured that the show needed to be saved and the two imposters in the ring needed to be stopped....I could of chosen to attack either guy, but I chose to attack Regal because I knew the day would come where I would have to strip that muscle bound freak of that fake belt and I wanted to finish what I started weeks before on the Bullfrog.
When Gene speaks again it switches to the tag match Regal/Bulldog vs Jarrett and his Mystery partner
Mean Gene - Then the following week you are placed into a tag match against the two men you wronged and you got to have a mystery partner....there was speculation on who it would be...would it be Owen Hart, A Corporation member, a member of the Revolution? But you swerved everyone and brought in the Mastodon Vader....you then fled like a coward and left him in the ring to get the L...how can you claim to be a champion and then do something so cowardly?
Jeff Jarrett - Cowardly? That wasnt cowardly at all....that was called using your head. Last time I got into a tag match my career was almost ended....Once the man I chose to be my partner proved to be a failure I left him...I wasn't going to risk my career again being in the ring with two guys who couldn't wrestle their way out of a paper bag who would no doubt more than likely injure me on purpose like the savages they are...I am way too important to the WLF to let that happen
One last clip of last week's Prime time plays where its Dibease and Jarrett for Undertaker and Bulldog
Mean Gene - And then finally last week We saw you team up with The Million Dollar man to take on the man who put you out of action The Undertaker and your opponent tonight the British Bulldog....Bulldog got you with a clean pin perhaps outlining what will happen tonight....Bulldog getting his hand raised in victory
Jeff Jarrett - You are acting like he pinned me on his own power...no no no....Me and Dibease had an agreement...I would keep Bulldog occupied long enough to where they could do what they had to do with Undertaker so thinking quick on my feet I laid down for him...The only thing that the British Bullfrog is going to be raising tonight is money so he can pay off all the hospital bills that will ensue after I am done with him.....The neutering that I am going to be giving him will be paid in full by me....cause I am such a nice guy...Hell as consolation I may give him one of my many homes so he can hang his head in shame and walk off into the sunset into retirement and go down in history as the man who wanted to be like Jeff Jarrett but came up a little bit short
Mean Gene - You havent picked up a victory in almost 2 months.....how can you be so cocky? The Bulldog is a great wrestler and I think you are taking him too lightly....your confidence will be your downfall mark my words
Jeff Jarrett - When the smoke clears and all is said and done tonight there will be no more confusion there will be no more doubts.....after tonight Bulldog, Mean Gene, everyone in the audience and everyone watching all over the world will know that I am The Chosen One....and the last thing you will hear while yours truly raises his hands high is....the winner of the match and STILL WLF Intercontinental Champion....The Chosen One....Jeff...Jarrett!
The screen fades to black as we go back to Gorilla and Bobby
Bobby Heenan - That man makes me proud to be in this great sport.He is such a role model, someone the kids can look up to
Gorilla Monsoon - Give me a break....lets go down to Howard Finkle as he introduces the challenger
Howard Finkle - And HIS opponent....coming down to the ring weighing in at 235 pounds.....from Nashville, Tennessee....The Chosen One......Jefffff Jarrrreetttttt
Jeff Jarrett's music starts to play.....but noone is coming out. Howard Finkle introduces him again and the music starts again...still nothing
Gorilla Monsoon - I knew it...Jarrett is chicken...he is too afraid to face the Bulldog and be proven wrong in front of all these people
Bobby Heenan - Jarrett isnt afraid of the Bullfrog and he certainly doesnt care what these humanoids think...he will come out when he is good and ready
The music once again stops.....Howard Finkle and the ref are talking and then Howard once again announces Jeff Jarrett....this time the music starts up and 'Jarrett' walks out onto the ramp
Bobby Heenan - See I told you he wasnt afraid, he just wanted to make people sweat
Gorilla Monsoon - Jarrett looks a little different from the last time we saw him....
As Bulldog leans against the ropes beckoning Jarrett to come down to the ring someone jumps over the railing and slides under the ropes...the man is wearing a trenchcoat and hat
Gorilla Monsoon - Watch out Bulldog behind you!
The man takes Bulldog from behind and heaves him over the top ropes to the floor....The man takes off the coat and hat and its revealed to be Jeff Jarrett...Jarrett quickly slides under the ropes on the other side and grabs a ladder and slides it in the ring....He slides in after it and sets it up and starts to climb it quickly........
Jeff Jarrett begins scaling the ladder as fast as he can but he only gets a quarter of the way up when the British Bulldog gets back to his feet and goes to Jarrett and yanks him off the ladder and down to the mat.
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog not wasting time here picks Jarrett to his feet and begins unloading on the Self Proclaim Chosen One with hard rights into his face and he then whips him towards the ropes and Jarrett comes back into a back body drop from the Bulldog.
Bobby Heenan: Don't worry the British Bullfrog will make a mistake and when he does Jarret will capitalize on it.
Gorilla Monsoon: Jarret getting to his feet and the Bulldog charging at Jarrett and takes him down with a Flying Shoulder Block and the impact takes Jarrett flying outside and towards our announce table as Bulldog sets the ladder in the corner of the ring and is set to come after Jarrett on the outside.
Bobby Heenan: The British Bulldog walking towards Jarrett and I think Jeff has something in his hand and Bulldog picks him up and Jarrett throws a cup of soda into the face of the Bulldog and listen to him wail in pain.
Gorilla Monsoon: You think this is funny Bobby, the Bulldog could be blinded after that move and Jeff now grabbing the Bulldog and he slams his head off our table and the Bulldog collapse to floor. Jeff Jarret going to the Spanish announce table and begins pulling the cover off and Jeff picks up a monitor and is stalking his opponent and Bulldog getting to his feet and Jeff now swings the monitor and nails the Bulldog right in the face with it and then throws the monitor away.
Bobby Heenan: Jeff is not done yet as he picks up those cables and he locks them around the throat of the Bulldog and yes good job Jarrett! Keep up the great work!
Gorilla Monsoon: Wait Jeff is now using that cable as a bull rope as he brings the Bulldog to his feet and pulls the rope and sends the Bulldog crashing into the steps shoulder first and now Jarrett now pulling him to his feet using the cable and whips him hard once again but this time into the guard rail. Jarrett now grabbing the cable and he's tying it around the steel ring post and the Bulldog might not be breathing anymore.
Bobby Heenan: Jeff Jarrett picks up another ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring and begins climbing. Come on Jeff no ones stopping you from proving to everyone tonight that you are indeed the Chosen One.
Jarrett continues to climb as Bulldog is to his feet....Bulldog slides under the bottom ropes and as Jeff is reaching for the belts. Seeing that he can't reach them Jarrett starts to climb further but at the same time Bulldog begins to climb the ladder at the same time on the same side as Jarrett.....Jarrett reaches up to grab the belts but Bulldog grabs him from behind and back suplexes him off the ladder and both men are lying motionless on the ground
Gorilla Monsoon - Jarrett stopped by the Bulldog and now both men are trying to get up to their feet.
Bobby Heenan - It would of been much easier for the Bulldog to just let Jarrett grab the titles and save himself some punishment and the embarrassment of losing to the Chosen One
Gorilla Monsoon - Davey Boy Smith has too much heart for a cowardly act like that, sounds like something your friend Jarrett might try and pull
Bobby Hennan - Im gonna tell him you said that
Gorilla Monsoon - Please do, and while your at it please tell him if he is going to keep carrying that guitar around to maybe do something useful and learn to play it
Bobby Heenan - Your diggin your own grave pal
Bulldog gets up first and as Jarrett gets to his feet Bulldog delivers a punch to the head and then another one. Bulldog then whips Jarrett into the turnbuckle. He walks over to Jarrett and chops him in the chest. He then punches Jarrett in the head again and then again and then again, he keeps doing it and going faster and faster until Jarrett slumps down in the corner. Bulldog then letsout a bellowing yell and raises his arms in the air to the crowd as the crowd goes nuts
Gorilla Monsoon - Bulldog letting out all his frustrations out on Jarrett....weeks of being tormented by the Chosen One has taken its toll. Jarrett may not make it out of this match with his career in tact!
Bobby Heenan - Get up Jeff, Bulldog has turned into a mad man. I dont feel safe I need hazard pay
Gorilla Monsoon - Will you stop!
Bulldog then picks up Jarrett and hes giving the sign already for the Powerslam. Bulldog lifts him up into position. But Jarrett wriggles his way out of it and shoves Bulldog over the top ropes and onto the floor. Jarrett then takes the ladder in the ring and folds it up and places it under the bottom rope on the side Bulldog went out on. Bulldog slowly gets to his feet and Jarrett bounces off the ropes and runs across the ring and baseball slides the ladder into Davey Boy Smith's face sending him back down to the mat
Bobby Heenan - Where is that frustration now Gorilla? The King of the Mountain looks to be back on top of things..>This is Jarrett's night I can just feel it.
Gorilla Monsoon - Jarrett going to the outside now...Bulldog is down he should be going for the belt not yelling at people out in the crowd
Bobby Heenan - He has plenty of time to mock the humanoids. I always take a little time out of my day to do that....gotta keep em humble or they get lippy
Gorilla Monsoon - You are a piece of work you know that Weasel
Bobby Heenan - Why thank you
Jarrett walks over and gets under the ring and pulls out one of his guitars. Bulldog is slowly standing up.....Jarrett cocks the Guitar back and swings but it misses Bulldog and Jarrett gets hit with a clothesline from the Bulldog as the guitar drops to the ground. Bulldog looks at the guitar and then looks out to the crowd.
Bobby Heenan - Dont you do it Bulldog, that is not your property...Jeff....Jeff get up
Gorilla Monsoon - With all the people Jarrett has done it to in the past he has it comin
Davey Boy Smith picks the guitar up and motions for Jarrett to stand up....Jarrett slowly starts to stand up
Bobby Heenan - He better not do it...Give that back to Jarrett at once you thief
Gorilla Monsoon - Oh he's gonna give it to him alright
Jarrett gets to his feet and turns around to Bulldog. Bulldog swings the guitar and nails Jarrett right in the top of the head with it. The guitar smashes into a hundred pieces and Jarrett's head is sticking out the top and he falls backwards. Bulldog then raises his arms and the handle of the guitar that broke off in the air and the crowd starts to chant Bulldog's name.
Gorilla Monsoon - Ive been waiting a long time to see that happen to Jarrett
Bobby Heenan - All I know is Bulldog now owes Jarrett a guitar...Jarrett just brought it out to play some music
Gorilla Monsoon - This is a wrestling match not a rock concert, Jarrett looks to be out cold....and Davey Boy looks to be grabbing the ladder
Davey Boy grabs the same ladder that Jarrett had kicked into him and slides it under the ring ropes. He then sets up the ladder but it falls over as it had gotten bent after the kick and fall to the floor. So Bulldog leaves the ring to retrieve another ladder. Bulldog finds one leaning up against the guard rails and enters the ring with it and sets it up....Jarrett is nowhere to be seen as Bulldog makes his way up the ladder...
Gorilla Monsoon - He's gonna do it, He is finally gonna shut Jarrett up
Bobby Heenan - No No....get up Jarrett damn you get up...
Gorilla Monsoon - This is a family show, you cant use language like that
Bobby Heenan - Shut up Monsoon, just shut up
Bulldog grabs onto the belts and out of nowhere Jarrett slides in the ring and pushes the ladder out from under Bulldog leaving him hanging off the belts. Jarrett then takes the steel chair he brought into the ring with him and viciously starts swinging and hits Bulldog 5 times with it in the back and legs before Bulldog lets go of the belts and falls to the mat
Bobby Heenan - Thank you Jesus, Jarrett is still in it
Gorilla Monsoon - I for sure thought Bulldog retained the title, this is sure shaping up to be a match of the year contender
Jeff Jarrett lifts the Bulldog to his feet and dumps him to the outside and picks up the second ladder that Bulldog placed in the ring earlier and sets it up in the corner of the ring and Jeff then rolls to the outside and picks up a even bigger ladder than the one already in the ring and sets it up in the middle of the ring and begins to climb up it and starts to make his way up the ladder to the titles hanging at the top.
Bobby Heenan: Yes Jeff is almost there and he's going to win because Bulldog is nowhere to be seen.
Gorilla Monsoon: Don't be so sure partner because while Jarrett was climbing the ladder Bulldog set up 4 tables on the outside, 2 stacked on top of each other and Bulldog now climbs back in the ring and Jarrett doesn't see him back in the ring and Bulldog dropkicks the ladder and Jeff falls down to the mat. Bulldog now grabs the ladder and places it face down in the middle of the ring.
Bobby Heenan: What's that idiot doing now as he picks up Jeff and lifts him high in the air in a Military Position and drops him straight down on the ladder and listen to these humanoids cheer for the Bullfrog for that not very impressive move.
Gorilla Monsoon: What you talking about that was a very impressive move, and look at Jarrett squirm on the mat holding his back. Finally someone is teaching Jarrett a lesson and Bulldog now sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring and begins climbing his way up the long ladder.
Bobby Heenan: Come on Jeff get up!
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog is halfway up there and if he could just get the titles down the match will be over and he would still be the champion.
Bobby Heenan: Not so fast ape man because Jarrett is pulling himself to his feet and he's climbing up after the Bulldog and he's at the same level with the Bulldog and he punches Bulldog and he's teetering.
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog in trouble and Jeff going for another right but Bulldog blocks it and throws a left in the face of the Chosen One and he nails another and another and he now grabs Jarrett's head and bounces it off the ladder and that ladder begins to wobble and oh my! It tips over and both competitors fall from the top all the way to the outside and through the four tables..
Fans: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Bobby Heenan: You see what that idiot Bulldog did he endangered both of their lives.
Gorilla Monsoon: The ladder had to much weight on it and it fell and now look at the dent that ladder has, that was from when Bulldog Military Press Slammed Jarrett on the ladder and Bulldog thought it was going to hold his support and it did until Jarrett got on it.
Bobby Heenan: I got to go check on Jeff, I'll be right back.
Gorilla Monsoon: You are not going anywhere, neither man has moved and Ill be very surprised if these two make it to the Battle Royal later tonight after that fall.
Both Men lay motionless on the ground until Jarrett starts to show some signs of life....Bulldog is buried underneath the rubble of wood. All of a sudden an unidentified man in all black clothes and a black mask comes running down to the ring. He grabs a ladder from under the ring and sets it up in the middle of the ring
Gorilla Monsoon - Now who is that? Whats he doing in the ring. Someone call security.
Bobby Heenan - What? I dont see anything, my monitor must be broken
The masked man then slides under the ropes and picks Jarrett up to his feet and leans him on the ring post. The masked man then goes over to the broadcast position and gets a bottle of water and throws it in the face of Jeff Jarrett and Jarrett starts to wake up. The masked man points to the ladder in the ring and Jarrett slowly slides back into the ring
Bobby Heenan - The Chosen One sees the set up ladder and seems to be coming out of his daze
Gorilla Monsoon - With a little help from some mysterious masked man...who is that guy?
Bobby Heenan - Seriously Monsoon you need to get your eyes checked or something, I see noone else down there but Bulldog and Jarrett
Gorilla Monsoon - Then who is that guy over by Bulldog
Bobby Heenan - Ohhhhh...THAT guy....I thought you were losing it....him I talked to him backstage earlier...Real good guy
Gorilla Monsoon - WHAT! So you knew this was going to happen...>well who is it?
Bobby Heenan - Oh I dont know, but Bulldog is gonna find out what he can do
Back at ringside the Masked Man is now grabbing some cords and tying them around Bulldogs feet and tying a knot...then he ties the cords to the ring post in a knot and then slides into the ring where Jarrett is still on his hands and knees in front of the ladder. The masked man picks Jarrett up to his feet and then puts him on the ladder to start to climb it. Jarrett is halfway out of it and slowly starts to climb the ladder. The Masked man puts his head up between Jarrett's legs and starts to climb with him up to the top.
Gorilla Monsoon - Jarrett lloks to be out of it but getting alot of help to get to the belts. This is a total miscarriage of justice
Bobby Heenan - YES YES I told you Monsoon, Jarrett is gonna win this
The ladder looks to be shaking so the Masked Man props Jarrett up on the ladder and climbs down. When he steps on the mat it appears that his knots were not tight enough as Bulldog is now in the ring and has met him with a thunderous clothesline.
Bobby Heenan - No No No How did Bulldog get up so fast, I thought he was tied up good
Gorilla Monsoon - Well I guess its obvious Jarrett's friend was not a boy scout
Bulldog takes the Masked Man and whips him into the turnbuckle. He then runs full speed and clotheslines him again this time sending the masked man up and over the ropes down to the floor. Bulldog then exits the ring and the Masked Man groggily gets up and takes off back to the backstage..BUlldog chases him halfway up the ramp and then turns around and heads back to the ring
Gorilla Monsoon - Good, Bulldog chased the masked man away and now it can get back to a fair fight
Bobby Heenan - Yeah well while he was dealing with that man Jarrett is now inches away from the belts
Bulldog seees this and rushes back into the ring and barely stops Jarrett and pushes the ladder over knocking Jarrett off of it. Bulldog picks up the ladder and leans it in the corner, after its on the corner Jarrett runs towards Bulldog and Bulldog side steps him and throws him through the ropes to the outside, Bulldog then takes the ladder and puts it on his shoulder, Jarrett quickly jumps up on the ring apron and up to the top ropes and then leaps off it while Bulldogs back is turned. But instead of knocking him down Both Jarrett and the ladder are now on Bulldogs right shoulder. Almost immediately as it happened Bulldog starts to run and then gives Jarrett a running powerslam with the ladder landing on top of Jarrett. Bulldog rolls off the ladder holding his shoulder
Gorilla Monsoon - What a magnificent display of power shown by the British Bulldog....this young man has more heart than Jarrett could ever hope to have
Bobby Heenan - Yeah well the big dummy injured himself doing the move as well.....how ya gonna climb a ladder with a bum arm, dumb pooch
Gorilla Monsoon - Thats why its called a HIGH risk maneuver Bobby....both men will be feeling the effects of this match for a long time to come....and they are both in the 60 man Battle Royal later tonight
Bulldog is down on the mat holding his arm after that amazing display of strength but it might have been costly as he's crawling towards the ropes to help him get back to his feet and Bulldog inching his way closer and closer towards the ropes, we pan over to Jeff who hasn't moved at all since the Powerslam and the ladder fell on him.
Gorilla Monsoon: Folks we are sorry but I'm getting a message that something's happening in the backstage area, lets see what going on.
The Titan Tron flashes and we see that same masked guy from a few minutes ago and he's running down the hall, thinking Bulldog is still chasing him but he looks and no one is there he stops and begins laughing and decides to take a break from running and he might have made a mistake because out of nowhere Owen Hart explodes into the mask person and spears him into the wall and then begins unloading on this mysterious individual and you can here the fans in the arena erupt as Owen Hart is going to school on this guy.
Owen Hart: Hey whoever the hell you are, you mess with Davey Boy, you mess with me and that goes for you too Jeff.
Owen Hart is satisfy with his handiwork and walks away as we return to the arena where the fans are chanting for Owen Hart.
Bobby Heenan: Damn that Chicken Nugget, this isn't his battle.
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog did say he had a surprise if Jarrett decided to bring help of his own and its great to see Owen Hart back in the Wrestling Legends Federation.
Bobby Heenan: Owen Hart should be put in jail for attacking an innocent man.
Gorilla Monsoon: Inncoent this masked guy tried tying cables around Bulldog and Owen was evening the odds. Anyway back to the match and Bulldog finally getting to his feet using the ropes and he's holding that arm though.
Bobby Heenan: Bulldog could just climb the ladder and get the titles right now but that idiot isn't even doing that, it might come back to bite him in the behind
Gorilla Monsoon: I have to agree with you on that one, Bulldog picking up the ladder off Jeff and throws it to the outside and he goes out to and is placing the ladder wedge between the ring and the guard rail and now looks under the ring and pulls out a chair and throws it in the ring, Bulldog now eyes another ladder on the outside and picks it up and slides it in the ring. Bulldog slides in the ring and picks up the chair as there's life from Jarrett as he's coming around and he's up on his kness but doesn't know where he is. Bulldog has the chair and listen to these fans they want Bulldog to crack the chair over Jarretts head and Bulldog swings the chair and he cracks the chair over his head and Jarrett drops down to the mat.
Bobby Heenan: Bulldog looks like he's not done yet as he picks up the chair and places it in a sitting position in the middle of the ring and he picks a lifeless Jarrett off the mat and he's looking for his signature Stalling Suplex but Bulldog is having problems doing so with that hurt arm.
Gorilla Monsoon: Bulldog fighting through the pain has Jarrett up high in the air and keeps him up there for ten seconds and then drops him through the chair. Jarrett landing back and neck first through that chair.
Bobby Heenan: Bulldog can't capitalize because he's down too holding his arm and that took a lot out of the Bulldog.
Gorilla Monsoon: Neither of these men giving up, they want the Intercontinetal Championship.
Davey Boy Smith, still favoring his arm, looks up at the two title straps hanging way up and too far for him to reach. Bracing himself and soldiering through the pain, the English powerhouse proceeds to retrieve a ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring.
Gorilla Monsoon: We might be looking at the crowning moment for the undisputed WLF Intercontinental Champion; Jarrett is still not moving.
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Jeff! Get up! That musclehead’s gonna walk away with YOUR title!
Gorilla Monsoon: Davey Boy begins his ascent, but he’s hampered by his injured arm.
Bobby Heenan: Jarrett’s started to move; he’s started to move!
Gorilla Monsoon: It might already be too late for the Chosen One; Davey Boy’s already halfway up the ladder.
Bobby Heenan: It’s never too late! Come on, Jeff!
Gorilla Monsoon: Just face it; he’ll never be able to catch up in time. Davey Boy is now inches away from retrieving those belts!
Bobby Heenan: He doesn’t have to catch up. Look at this!
Jeff Jarrett, getting resourceful, picks up the bent chair that he had just been put through, and hurls it at the Bulldog, causing the Englishman to fall off the ladder and plummeting straight down to the canvas with a loud thud!
Gorilla Monsoon: I think Davey Boy landed awkwardly on his shoulder there, which is not gonna help his cause.
Bobby Heenan: And you can bet Jarrett’s gonna capitalize on that.
Gorilla Monsoon: Jeff Jarrett grabs Davey Boy from behind. He has him in a hammerlock and Jarrett rams Davey Boy, shoulder-first, straight into the cornerpost!
Bobby Heenan: That’s the way! Jarrett is systematically taking the Brit apart, limb from limb.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Jarrett once again smashes the Bulldog, shoulder-first, into the corner.
Bobby Heenan: He’s making sure that the Bulldog won’t be able to climb the ladder.
Gorilla Monsoon: Or effectively removing his most dangerous weapon, the Running Powerslam. If he can’t lift his arm, chances are he won’t be able to complete that move.
Bobby Heenan: Now you’re getting it, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: Jarrett whips Davey Boy into the opposite corner and he charges in… but the Bulldog moves out of the way and Jarrett runs himself straight into the cornerpost!
Davey Boy hoists Jeff Jarrett up on his shoulder for the patented Running Powerslam, but the Bulldog appears to be hampered by the sharp pain in his arm. Jarrett takes full advantage of the situation and counters with an inverted DDT on Davey Boy.
Jarrett repositions the ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring. As Jarrett begins his ascent up the ladder, Davey Boy slowly picks himself up from the mat and goes after the Chosen One. Davey Boy grabs on to Jarrett’s leg, but the Chosen One manages to shake him off and kicks the Bulldog away to the ropes. Davey Boy rebounds from the ropes and pushes the ladder as he sends Jarrett falling off the top!
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh no! The ladder collapsed right on top of the referee!
Bobby Heenan: He did that on purpose, Monsoon! The Bulldog took out the referee intentionally!
Gorilla Monsoon: And why exactly would he do that?
Bobby Heenan: Cause he knows he can’t beat Jarrett on a level playing field!
Gorilla Monsoon: At the same time, Jarrett, falling off the top of the ladder, straddles himself on the ropes and tumbles all the way to the outside!
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Jeff! Get up! Get up!
Gorilla Monsoon: He better do it fast cause Davey Boy is already repositioning the ladder and beginning his ascent.
Slowly but surely, Davey Boy Smith scales the ladder and retrieves both the championship belts!
Gorilla Monsoon: He’s done it! Davey Boy’s done it! He’s retrieved both title belts! You are looking at the undisputed WLF Intercontinental Champion!
Bobby Heenan: Don’t be so sure, Monsoon. We still haven’t heard anything official; the referee’s still down.
Gorilla Monsoon: Hang on just a damn second; what’s Jarrett doing here? He’s retrieved his guitar down ringside!
Bobby Heenan: Maybe he wants to play us one of his favorite tunes.
Gorilla Monsoon: He is not! He intends to use it on Davey Boy!
Bobby Heenan: Like I said, maybe he wants to play us one of his favorite tunes.
Gorilla Monsoon: LOOK OUT, DAVEY BOY!!!
Bobby Heenan: TOO LATE!!!
Jeff Jarrett smashes his guitar over the head of the British Bulldog and knocks him out!
Bobby Heenan: Ooh, I think even the Queen would’ve felt that one all the way in Buckingham Palace.
Gorilla Monsoon: What a sore loser!
Bobby Heenan: Who? Where?
Gorilla Monsoon: Now he’s picking up the championship belts? Those rightfully belong to Davey Boy!
Bobby Heenan: Well, he ain’t gonna put up much argument.
Referee Charles Robinson finally recovers from the knock earlier and when he clears his eyes, he sees Jeff Jarrett holding both the Intercontinental Title straps!
Gorilla Monsoon: No-no… not like this!
Bobby Heenan: Hahaha… who’s the loser now?
Gorilla Monsoon: This can’t be happening! Davey Boy won the match fair and square!
Bobby Heenan: Really? Cause I see the Chosen One holding those titles in his hands… and more importantly, so does Charles Robinson!
The referee calls for the bell, awarding the match to Jeff Jarrett, naming him the undisputed WLF Intercontinental Champion!
Gorilla Monsoon: I can’t believe this! What a miscarriage of justice here!
Bobby Heenan: Even the fortunes smile on him, Gorilla, and don’t you deny it. That’s why he’s the Chosen One. It’s been Jarrett all along. That title belongs to Jarrett. He is the rightful Intercontinental Champion.
Gorilla Monsoon: Not in my book. Davey Boy has been robbed here tonight that’s for sure.
Bobby Heenan: Well, he can try to do something about it, but I can betcha he’d fail just like he did tonight.
Gorilla Monsoon: This won’t be the end of it I’m sure. If I know Gordon Gekko and I think I do, Davey Boy Smith will be getting his rematch sooner rather than later.
Bobby Heenan: Then obviously you don’t know Mr Gekko that well; Davey Boy had better be ready to start at the bottom of the barrel. The Chosen One is once again the WLF Intercontinental Champion and all is right with the world again.
07-08-2013, 11:17 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
SIX-MAN GRUDGE MATCH
LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Moondogs & Richard Lee vs Million Dollar Corporation
The year-long rivalry between the Corporation and Richard Lee's boys have reached a boiling point.
Blood will no doubt be spilled in this final showdown within the confines of this caged death trap.
Referee: Nick Patrick
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
We are taken out back to where the Doctor of Styles Slick is standing with his men, Judge Dredd, the Big Boss Man and Akeem the African Dream. Sean Mooney is there to interview them.
Sean Mooney: You are only moments away from your huge cage match against the Moondogs and their manager Richard Lee. Many are saying that once again Aunty Lil has pulled strings to ensure that you and your boys have a huge advantage over the Moondogs. Do you really think it’s fair to go into this match in a three on three match when one of your opposition is simply a manager? Why are you not involved, Slick? Why don’t you wrestle in the match?
Slick: What is this jive, Mooney? It’s not like we twisted the arms of that turkey Richard Lee. He chose to be in this match because he’s DUMB! Besides, if I wrestle too that will make it 4 on 3 which will make it totally unfair. What’s he’s gonna get tonight, he’ll deserve. Tonight, my home boys are gonna deliver some corporal punishment on his ass, not to mention HARD TIIIIIME. Tell ‘em Boss Man!
Boss Man: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, SLICK! That punk Richard Lee is getting too big for his damn boots and when that happens it falls on the likes of us to put him in his place. It falls on us to deliver the punishment and the HARD TIME that he so desperately needs! WE consider this a WARM UP right here to the big main event later tonight. We’re gonna beat that piece of trash up so bad his two dogs will spend the rest of the night licking his AND THEIR OWN wounds. They’ll be in no shape to wrestle in the main event!
Akeem: Riiight onnnnnn BRUTHeerrrrrrrrrr! Those Mooooooon Mutts and their brain dead manaGERRRRRRR… are gonna know what it’s like to suFFERRRRR! Ha ha HAAAA!
Sean Mooney: Has it occurred to you gentlemen that wrestling in such a brutal match will simply mean that NONE of you will be in ANY condition to wrestle in the World War III main event tonight?
Judge Dredd steps forward and scowls at Moony.
Dredd: Are you trying to say we can’t handle it, creep? Is that what you’re saying?
Sean Mooney: I.. I’m simply stating the likely outcome. You are going to have an arsenal of weapons to choose from if you can get to them. There will be no count outs and no disqualifications. You could all come out with serious injuries. Don’t you think that’s highly likely?
Dredd: You’re questioning our fortitude? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE DOING, CREEP? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU CREEP?
Dredd pushes forward and grabs Mooney roughly by the shirt.
Dredd: I’M A MEGA CITY JUDGE! I’m TRAINED to take all matter of abuse! I was trained as a judge as soon as I was old enough to go to the toilet on my own! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME, CREEP? HOW DARE YOU INSULT A MEGA CITY JUDGE?
Sean Mooney: I meant to disrespect at all and I’m sorry if I…
Dredd: YOU’LL BE SORRY ALRIGHT CREEP! ESPECIALLY ONCE I’M DONE WITH YOU! I’M GONNA…
Slick: Hey, Joe, my man, chill, just take it easy…
Slick places his hand on the shoulder of Dredd but all of a sudden Dredd sends his fist swinging back into the face of his manager sending Slick flying.
Dredd: I AM THE LAW! I AM THE LAWWWWWWW!
Immediately Akeem and the Big Boss Man come in and try to grab an arm each in an attempt to calm the enraged judge down. Instead Dredd lets out a burst of strength sending both men flying in opposite directions.
Dredd: LET ME AT THAT PERP! LET ME DEAL WITH HIM!
Suddenly in charge security. Dredd swings wildly at them all sending men flying left right and centre. Then Nick Jackson appears. In his hand is a Taser. He fires and Dredd goes down! His body vibrates as the electricity drills in to him.
Dredd is down and immobilised, but that’s not the end of it. Nick Jackson calls in some more men, this time men in white coats. They converge on Dredd.
Slick is on his feet though and intercepts Jackson.
Slick: What are you doing, Jackson? You can’t take him! We have a match!
Nick Jackson: No chance! He’s had his warnings and he’s blown it. Gekko said if anything like this happened again he’s out of here. You’re gonna have to wrestle your match one man down.
Slick: But what about World War III? He’s signed for that too!
Nick Jackson: Not any more. He’s gonna be taken away where he can get the help he needs.
Dredd: GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!
The men in white coats have put a straightjacket on Judge Dredd and they are hauling him away.
Dredd: I AM THE LAW! I AMMMMMMMM THE LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THE LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwww
Returning to the arena…
Gorilla Monsoon: Wow Brain, that’s a turn up for the books. Men in white coats carting Judge Dredd away. All I can say is it’s about time. He was a certified loon. I have a feeling this will be the last we see of that particular individual.
Bobby Heenan: This can’t be! They can’t do that to Judge Dredd. Who’s gonna play Dr McCoy in the next Star Trek movie if he’s locked up in a padded cell? Who?
Gorilla Monsoon: I think the bigger question right now is what effect this is gonna have on the Twin Towers who are due to start their match very shortly against the Moondogs. They were expecting to go into this one with a huge advantage, but instead they’re going to be a man down. In some ways that serves them right. Now it will be the Moondogs who will have the advantage instead. Perhaps what goes around comes around. Dredd should have learnt to control his temper. Fancy doing his nut over something so trivial?
There isn’t any music and no introduction as the Twin Towers and Slick make their way to ringside. Their expressions are dark.
Gorilla Monsoon: This has surely got to be a psychological blow for the Twin Towers. Wow, I can’t believe we’re not talking about Corporal Punishment anymore. It’s been all Corporal Punishment for the last several months, but it seems that’s the end of that particular union. Welcome back the Twin Towers, Brain.
Bobby Heenan: You know, I think all that Nick Jackson has achieved is making Akeem and the Big Boss Man even more angry. Imagine what will happen if they manage to get their hands on those weapons? We could see the end of Richard Lee, and perhaps even the Moondogs too!
The Twin Towers enter the steel cage.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, do you think that Richard Lee will be exempt from this match now that the Twin Towers are one man down?
Gorilla Monsoon: No. Richard Lee has been signed to fight in this match so he can’t pull out. Anyway, from what I hear he’s looking forward to it.
Slowly, the curtains part at the Gorilla Position, and out march Richard Lee and The Moondogs. Lee is decked out in full head to toe camo gear, along with two black streaks painted under each eye. He, along with both Moondogs, are carrying tremendous bones in their hands, ones wrapped in barbed wire.
Gorilla Monsoon: And here they come...Holy mackeral....look at the size of those dog bones The Moondogs are carrying....and.....are they wrapped in barbed wire?
Bobby Heenan: I'm getting very nervous right now Monsoon....I.....I think I'm gonna sit this one out, fly solo would ya?
Gorilla Monsoon: Bobby, you're not going anywhere! If I'm commentating this match, so are you!
Bobby Heenan: Well, you've seen how these two teams hate one another! I don't think anything will stop them from causing collateral damage!
With a burst of speed, The Moondogs rush into the ring, and it doesn't take long for the hellacious brawl to begin as Rex and Spot rain down blows upon Akeem and Bossman with the dog bones in their hands. Akeem and Bossman, momentarily caught off-guard, both stumble back and fall onto the mat from the force of the dog bone shots as the crowd eats up the violence they are witnessing
Gorilla Monsoon: Whoa! It hasn't been five seconds, and already there's chaos going on in the ring! The Moondogs are just pouring the hurt onto the Corporation! Akeem is down! Bossman is down! Oh-oh, Slick couldn't get out of the ring, he's trying to find a way to scurry out of there.....Oh! Look at this, Spot and Rex caught him! They're bringing him to Richard!
Rex and Spot, gripping Slick tightly, bring the howling and wiggling manager over to Richard. Richard cackles with glee, then open hand slaps Slick across the face twice
Richard Lee: Come on there Slick! You don't look so tough now, do ya! (Slaps him a third time) Hey, I want you to meet someone....a really good friend of mine....the side of the cage! Oh boys...
Bobby Heenan: Oh this is *not* going to end well....
Gorilla Monsoon: Akeem and Bossman are still dazed....they'd better hurry, their manager is about to get clobbered here....there they go....!
With an almost war whoop like sound from Richard, The Moondogs run Slick into the cage, smushing him face first into it. The crowd pops big time as Slick stumbles back a step and falls over like a tree, quivering on the mat as Richard and The Moondogs parade around with their dog bones.
Gorilla Monsoon: That steel cage door has just been closed shut and Slick is locked in there. It looks like Slick is going to be the replacement for Judge Dredd in this one!
Bobby Heenan: He’s gonna get annihilated!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well if Richard Lee can wrestle in this one, why not Slick? Now both sides are dead even!
Both the Boss Man and Akeem are hauling themselves to their feet now. Richard Lee points to them and his Moondogs zero in. Rex attacks Akeem with his bone, but Akeem is still wearing his plaster cast and blocks the blow. He then takes swings at Rex with his cast in an attempt to use it as a weapon. Rex blocks with his bone. Bits tear away from Akeem’s cast as both fight each other as if in a sword fight.
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t think that cast of Akeems is gonna be able to cope with all this tearing from the barbed wire on Rex’s bone.
Meanwhile the Big Boss Man has done his best to fend off the bone in Spots hand, but has come off worse. Spot drives his barbed wire covered bone into the gut of the Boss Man then smashes it down over his back. The bone disintegrates and crumbles. The barbed wire is all that’s left of it. Spot begins to kick him while he’s down and Richard Lee gleefully joins in.
Gorilla Monsoon: And look at Slick! He’s climbing up the wall. He wants to get out of there and I don’t blame him. Richard Lee sees him though and he’s going up after him. Look at that cowardly Slick. He doesn’t want any part of this.
Bobby Heenan: You’re underestimating him, Banana Breath. Look, he’s not fleeing. He’s going after some of those weapons. Look!
Slick reaches a baseball bat. He yells down at Akeem and then tosses the bat down to him which the African dream catches. Rex immediately backs off with his bone held high. He calls for his partner who pauses from his assault on the Boss Man to see his partner in trouble.
Gorilla Monsoon: Richard Lee’s reached Slick. He’s grabbing him by the leg, but Slick is determined to get to another of those weapons. What’s he after this time?
Bobby Heenan: That’s a wire brush!
Slick, in desperation rakes the wire brush over the head of Richard Lee who screams out, but doesn’t let go of Slicks’ leg. With one arm he grabs Slick by the wrist and yanks it down on the edge of the steel cage. Slick cries out and releases the wire brush, allowing it to drop down into the ring. Slick desperately reaches for another weapon, this time a leather belt. He lashes at Richard Lee with the buckled end, but misses. He goes for another swing but as he does Richard Lee yanks on Slick’s leg with all his might. He pulls Slick free from the cage. However he is unable to stop from falling himself and both managers go tumbling back down onto the canvas with a crash.
Gorilla Monsoon: Holy mackerel! Both men lie flat out on the mat. What a fall! I don’t know if those two are tough enough to take a fall like that!
Bobby Heenan: I’m sure they’re tougher than you think.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well neither of them are moving right now.
Bobby Heenan: Look at Akeem with that baseball bat. He’s determined to keep both those Moondogs at bay. He takes a swing as Spot and Spot jumps back. A swing at Rex and Rex jumps back….
The Big Boss Man, with bloody spots on both the front of his shirt and the back, stumbles over to where Slick lies and picks up the leather belt.
Gorilla Monsoon: The Boss Man with a weapon now. The Moondogs better watch out because he’s coming up from behind them…
Bossman wraps the belt around Spot's neck and begins to strangle him. Rex tries to jump at Bossman, only for Akeem to charge at him with the bat. Rex manages to block the bat, and both men go careening into the cage. Meanwhile, we see a shot of a bloodied and motionless Slick and Richard Lee
Bobby Heenan: What'd I tell ya Monsoon? Look at Slick and Richard! They're not moving! And they're both busted open!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well Brain, these two teams wanted to end their back and forth rivalry once and for all, and wanted it to be the ultimate end game, and they got it in spades!
Bossman, still choking Spot with the belt, cinches it in tighter as Spot, struggling for air, sinks to his knees. Meanwhile, Rex is now raking Akeem's face long the steel cage, making sure to smush it in as hard and painfully as possible
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap) THIS IS AWESOME! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap)
Gorilla Monsoon: This crowd is going bananas for this match! They're loving every minute of it! Wait, what's this? It looks like Slick and Richard Lee are starting to come to, but barely...
Indeed, both Slick and Lee, battered and bloody, are beginning to weakly sit up. The two men eye each other briefly, then they begin to weakly punch at each other as the crowd pops
Bobby Heenan: Oh Lord, they can't be serious...
Gorilla Monsoon: This is truly a testimony to how much Lee and Slick hate each other....even bloodied up like this, they *still* go at it...
Meanwhile, Spot has managed to elbow Bossman in the gut twice, and he is released from the stranglehold the belt had on him. He wearily gets to his feet, then begins to bite at Bossman's forehead. As Bossman hollers in pain, Akeem, who has since knocked Rex down with a clothesline, comes over to assist his team mate
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh-oh....it's a two on one here for Spot....Akeem grabbed him from behind....he's holding Spot for Bossman to nail him with something.....It looks like.....yes, it's a pair of brass knuckles!
Bobby Heenan: Spot's teeth will get knocked out like tic-tacs....Rex better get up and help his fellow bow-wow out!
Bossman lets out a bellow and charges at Spot, rearing back to punch him. However, at the last moment, Rex, who has slowly crawled up to Akeem and Spot, wrenches Spot loose from Akeem's grip. Both 'Dogs tumble to the mat, but at the same time, Bossman accidentally nails Akeem in the nose with the brass knuckles
Bobby Heenan: Oh no!
Gorilla Monsoon: Holy mackeral! Rex yanked Spot out of harm's way, and Bossman just nailed Akeem right in the kisser! This could very easily change the tide of battle here...
Gorilla Monsoon: The Boss Man is mortified. He can’t believe he just knocked out his own tag team partner. Now’s he’s making a move. He kicks Rex hard in the face. He turns and stomps on Spot. He bounces off the ropes and DOWN HE COMES on top of Spot! But here comes Richard Lee! He has that baseball bat and he slams it down over the back of the Boss Man. But I’m not sure it did much. Lee is quite obviously fatigued and didn’t have all that much strength behind that swing.
Bobby Heenan: And the Boss Man grabs the bat and angrily snatches it from Lee!
Richard Lee backs up with fear in his eyes. He walks right into the Doctor of Styles who is now back on his feet.
Gorilla Monsoon: Slick has Richard Lee's arms pinned from behind! And the Boss Man rams the end of the baseball back into Richard… BUT LEE MANAGES TO LUNGE OUT OF THE WAY! The end of the bat plunges right into the breadbasket of Slick!
Richard Lee scrambles for the cage wall in an attempt to escape the Boss Man. The Boss Man is furious now and rampages after him. Lee scales the wall and the Boss Man follows.
Gorilla Monsoon: Lee not moving as fast as he would like. I think he may have injured his hand in that fall earlier. It’s causing him pain while trying to climb.
Richard Lee fights through the agonising pain as he attempts to climb higher out of reach of the Boss Man, but the Boss Man is gaining. Half the crowds are cheering for the Boss Man while the other half for Richard Lee.
Gorilla Monsoon: Divided crowds here. Some of them want to see that little weasel get his comeuppance, but the other half want to see him get to one of those weapons!
Richard Lee finally reaches an object. This time it is a cookie tray. Lee drives it down over the head of the Big Boss Man which causes him to nearly lose his grip on the cage. For a moment he wobbles with one foot on a bar and a dazed expression on his face. Lee at the same time screams as pain shoots through his injured hand and he lets go of the cookie tray. For a moment he holds his hand close to his chest in pain, but then he sees that the Boss Man is starting to recover from the blow.
Gorilla Monsoon: Lee now looking at another weapon. And he’s moving along the top of the cage towards it…
Bobby Heenan: Is.....Is that a Singapore cane?
Gorilla Monsoon: It certainly is! Richard is reaching up desperately for it....his fingertips are grazing it....can he grab it before Bossman grabs him?
The crowd is again split down the middle, half of them wanting Bossman to catch and clobber Richard Lee, half wanting Richard to grab the cane. Richard, using his non-injured hand to grab at the cane, grimaces as his injured hand is gripping the cage. Bossman, meanwhile, is closing in fast on Richard
Gorilla Monsoon: Richard better hustle, Bossman is about two to three steps away from him....Lee making one last desperate grab for the Singapore cane.....can he......it looks like, yes, he grabbed it!
The crowd half cheers and half boos as Richard triumphantly grabs the cane then, with all of his might, swings it down at Bossman. While the cane doesn't hit Bossman, it does back him up a step or two. Richard whacks the stick again at Bossman, and again Bossman backs up a step or two.
Gorilla Monsoon: Those blows don't have much behind then, as you can see, they're not even hitting Bossman, but it's enough to keep him at bay, for the moment...
Bobby Heenan: Don't look now Monsoon, but the rest of the gang is starting to come too...
Gorilla Monsoon: Indeed they are Brain....Akeem is groggily sitting up.....wow, look at the blood pouring out of his nose.....no doubt from that brass knuckles shot he took to the kisser...Spot and Rex are slowly beginning to rise to, but barely, as they've taken a lot of damage from this match...
Bossman, realizing he's in a futile standoff with Richard, finally climbs down and onto the mat, soon joined by a groggy, though now on his feet Akeem, as Richard let's out a sigh of relief. However, he soon grimaces again and rubs at his hurt hand
Bobby Heenan: Richard might be safe for now, but look at that! He's rubbing that hand of his, he needs to pay attention though, he might fall!
Gorilla Monsoon: Lee is probably too exhausted to think straight, but you're right Brain, between a hurt hand, and holding that Singapore cane in his other hand, he's going to lose his grip and fall!
Richard Lee: (Finally losing his grip and starting to fall) Someone catch meeeeeeeeeee.........!
Bobby Heenan: No, no, no! Richard!
Gorilla Monsoon: Holy mackeral! Richard just fell right onto Bossman *and* Akeem! They may be two big men, but if another human being falls on top of you, you go down! Not to mention how crazy this match has been!
Crowd: (Chanting) THIS IS AWESOME! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap) THIS IS AWESOME! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap)
Bobby Heenan: This is like a car wreck Monsoon, it's horrifying to look at, yet you can't look away...
Gorilla Monsoon: This is just total carnage all across the ring....everyone is down on the mat here, either hurting from being squished by Richard Lee, or just trying to get back some energy from how grueling this match has been....
Bobby Heenan: And it looks like it’s Rex recovering first.
Gorilla Monsoon: Both him and Spot have been lying there for quite some time, but you’re right Brain, Rex is hauling himself to his feet. He’s looking around for a weapon… and there’s plenty of those lying about. Oh oh, he’s going for that wire brush.
Rex staggers over to the body of Akeem and he drops down beside him. He goes to scrape the wire brush down the side of Akeem’s face, but the Dream sees it coming and he raises his hand to stop him! He grabs Rex by the wrist as Rex attempts to push the wire brush closer to Akeem’s face.
Gorilla Monsoon: Rex with the advantage of leverage there being the man up high. I don’t think Akeem’s got the strength to stop him from pushing down. This could be nasty. We already saw that brush graze Richard Lee’s head and cause some nasty scratches. That was Slick with the brush that time. Imagine what Rex could do with it! Oh oh! Look! Akeem has some of that lose barbed wire from Spots bone!
Akeem lets go of Rex’s wrist and attempts to wrap the barbed wire around the throat of Rex. Rex manages to block the wire just in time with the brush. He pushes down on the wire while Akeem continues to try to wrap it around Rex’s throat.
Gorilla Monsoon: This is going way too far! If Akeem succeeds in getting that wire around the throat of Rex, it could be lethal!
Rex once again starts to get the better of the situation. He uses his higher position to his advantage pushing his weight down on Akeem. Akeem finds that the barbed wire is now coming closer to his face.
Gorilla Monsoon: Akeem in a real bad situation here. If he lets go he’s gonna get that barbed wire and that wire brush in his face.
Suddenly from behind Rex comes the Slickster! In his hand is Rex’s bone. He crashes the barbed wire covered bone down over the back of the skull of Rex!
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKERAL! What a timely intervention from the Doctor of Styles. But boy Slick looks in a real bad state!.
Bobby Heenan: Not as bad of a state as what Akeem could have been in if he hadn’t got there in time!.
Gorilla Monsoon: What a brutal match! How much more can these men take!
Bobby Heenan: I don’t know, but Spot is climbing to his feet now and Slick doesn’t realise it. He has his back to him!
Slowly, Slick feels in back of him, as he has come to a stop right next to Spot. With a look of dread on his face, Slick turns around and comes face to face with the Moondog. Spot smiles a deranged smile as he boots Slick in the stomach, then grabs the bone Slick used a moment ago and clobbers him over the head with it. Slick crumples to the mat like Jell-O as the crowd half boos and half cheers.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Slick is down again! I wouldn't be surprised if both Slick and Richard Lee were absent from WLF programming for sometime after this....it'll probably take them weeks to recover from this match...
Bobby Heenan: But Akeem is getting back up and zeroing in on Spot Gorilla....
Gorilla Monsoon: He is Brain....but at this point, what more do these guys have left? At this point, you've got to believe all six of these men are just running on fumes....they've beaten and battered each other with those weapons for a good ten or fifteen minutes without stopping....
Indeed, Gorilla's words ring true as Spot and Akeem, both looking worse for the wear, simply exchange weak punches as Rex groggily rolls over to the ropes to get leverage and Bossman, seated in the corner, breathing heavily, tries to suck in as much air as he can and re-gain some energy
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t ever recall seeing so much carnage in the ring before.
Bobby Heenan: Yeah? Wait til the main event.
Gorilla Monsoon: Funny you should mention that, I’m not sure if any of these four individuals is even in any condition to compete in that battle royal later tonight. They can barely stand as it is!
Bobby Heenan: And who’s gonna be replacing Judge Dredd? It better not be Slick!
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m sure with his infinite resources, the Million Dollar Man has probably lined somebody up as his substitute.
Bobby Heenan: You can bet your last name on it.
Gorilla Monsoon: Akeem now rakes Moondog Spot across the face and whips him across the ring. Ohh, he sends Spot colliding into his own partner and Rex simply collapses into the corner in a heap!
Bobby Heenan: What’s Akeem doing here?
Gorilla Monsoon: He’s planting his ample posterior right on top of Rex’s face, that’s what he’s doing!
Bobby Heenan: That’s mighty smart of him. All 460 pounds sitting on the Moondog and it doesn’t require much effort on his part.
Gorilla Monsoon: And here comes the Boss Man adding to the weight and pressure piling on top of Moondog Rex!
At that point in time, referee Nick Patrick decides to make the call to open up the cage door in order to allow for the injured to be carried out for immediate medical attention. While the action continue in the deep corner of the ring, two paramedics enter the cage with a stretcher, first carrying Richard Lee onto it, then slowly carting him out. After which, two other paramedics enter the cage to do the same for the Slickster. Akeem stomps across the ring just to ensure the safety of his manager while the man was being stretchered out. Moondog Spot comes up from behind and clobbers Akeem from the blindside, knocking the African Dream through the cage door and right on top of his manager and the two paramedics!
Bobby Heenan: Stop laughing, Monsoon, it’s not funny!
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m not laughing.
Bobby Heenan: Slick does not deserve to be treated that way! It’s bad enough that he got dragged into the action!
Gorilla Monsoon: Karma might have something to do with that.
Bobby Heenan: And just when he’s about to be carried out for medical treatment, he gets squashed by 460 pounds of African beef? He doesn’t deserve this.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well to be fair, Akeem should’ve been paying more attention to his opponents.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, wait-a-minute… what does he think he’s doing? What’s that Moondog doing?
Gorilla Monsoon: Moondog Spot is attaching a chain around the door and he’s latching it; I think they’re locking themselves in that cage!
Bobby Heenan: What? But Akeem’s supposed to be in that cage! He’s still part of the match!
Gorilla Monsoon: This does not look good for the Corporation at all! The Boss Man is trapped inside the steel cage with both Moondogs! He’s all on his own!
Bobby Heenan: Will somebody open up the damned door?! Get Akeem back in there!
Gorilla Monsoon: That’s gonna take some doing, Bobby. The Moondogs have conveniently padlocked themselves in there with Boss Man and just look at the size of the chain holding the door shut!
Bobby Heenan: This can’t go down like that! Come on, Slick! Wake up! Work your magic! Do something!
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t think he can hear you at all. He’s got more problems to worry about than his client right now. I’m almost certain that he’s more than likely suffering from a concussion after that shot with the dogbone.
Bobby Heenan: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?
Gorilla Monsoon: Somewhat. The Million Dollar Corporation is supposed to be this untouchable entity that simply bullies everyone into the ground. It’s nice to see them chasing their own tails from time to time.
Bobby Heenan: You’re just jealous.
Gorilla Monsoon: Of what?!
Bobby Heenan: That DiBiase wouldn’t give you the time of day.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh, I’m sure that’s the reason why the Boss Man now finds himself in a such a predicament against the Moondogs.
Bobby Heenan: See? You’re not even denying it.
Big Boss Man, not given any choice in the matter, has to fight for his survival against both Moondogs. Instead of being on the defensive, the former correction’s officer from Cobb County, Georgia decides to go on the offensive and takes the fight to his opponents, not giving them much time to enjoy their advantage!
The Boss Man rocks Moondog Spot with a hard right and drills Moondog Rex with a solid left, while his tag-team partner watches on helplessly from outside the steel cage. The numbers game eventually catches up with the Boss Man as Rex catches him with a kneelift to the rib area and Spot follows through with a double axhandle across the back. With the Boss Man down on all fours, the Moondogs begin to pummel him into the ground.
Transitioning from haymakers to kicks and stomps, the Moondogs soon grow weary of using just bare knuckles and decide to introduce weapons back into play. Moondog Spot looks around and spots the Boss Man’s trusty little nightstick lying by the side of the ring. Akeem tries to reach the nightstick from outside the cage, but fails to grab the weapon before Spot picks it up.
Bobby Heenan: You’re kidding me… they’re gonna use his own nightstick on him?
Gorilla Monsoon: Talk about poetic justice.
Bobby Heenan: This is not right. Do something, Akeem! Go get some help!
Gorilla Monsoon: Rex is holding Boss Man in place, while Spot climbs to the second turnbuckle with that nightstick in hand.
Just as Moondog Spot is about to make his leap, Boss Man elbows Moondog Rex in the face and catches Spot coming off the second turnbuckle with his patented Spike Slam, driving the Moondog straight into the canvas and knocking the wind right out of him!
Gorilla Monsoon: The Corporation could win this one yet!
Bobby Heenan: What an achievement that would be!
MOONDOG REX BREAKS IT UP!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: Close but no cigar.
Bobby Heenan: At least it’s much more of a level playing field now, with Moondog Spot temporarily out of the picture.
Gorilla Monsoon: The momentum now sits with the Corporation. Meanwhile, I believe Akeem is going to seek help from one of our stage hands to cut through that chain holding the door together.
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Boss Man! Finish him off!
Gorilla Monsoon: Boss Man has Moondog Rex straddled in the corner and he’s unloading with those lightning quick fists, ending the melee with a stiff uppercut straight to the jaw!
Bobby Heenan: Yes! Yes! You’re doing it!
Gorilla Monsoon: So much for being objective and impartial.
Bobby Heenan: Shut up, Monsoon, you’re not the boss of me.
Gorilla Monsoon: Looks like the Boss Man is going for the Spike Slam on Moondog Rex.
Bobby Heenan: HEY!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: But he gets blindsided by Moondog Spot with a shot from the nightstick to the back of the skull! Oh, he’s gotta be seeing double after that! And Moondog Rex, rebounding from the ropes, simply runs him over with a staggering shoulder tackle!
Bobby Heenan: The Moondogs know they can’t beat the Boss Man in one-on-one competition.
Gorilla Monsoon: They don’t have to, Bobby. This is still supposed to be a tag-team match.
Bobby Heenan: And look! Here comes Akeem with that giant sized chain cutter! It’s about time! Hang on, Boss Man!
Gorilla Monsoon: He might already be too late. What’s this? Moondog Spot climbing to the top turnbuckle. He’d just detached a trashcan and hands it over to his partner… and Rex placing it on top of the Boss Man.
Bobby Heenan: What are they doing here?
Gorilla Monsoon: Boss Man is in serious trouble…
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKEREL!!! MOONDOG SPOT WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! HE STOMPS THE TRASHCAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HEART OF THE BOSS MAN!!!
Bobby Heenan: WILL YOU LOOK AT THE CONDITION OF THAT TRASHCAN!!! IMAGINE WHAT BOSS MAN MUST FEEL LIKE!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: Talk about putting a final nail in the coffin. Rex goes for the cover. It’s purely academic in my opinion.
Gorilla Monsoon: As strong a contender as he might be, not even the Boss Man could’ve kicked out of that one.
Bobby Heenan: It wasn’t a fair fight, Monsoon. He was at a one-man disadvantage for most of it.
Gorilla Monsoon: Nobody said it had to be fair, Bobby. But credit where credit’s due, despite the loss, the Boss Man really held his own in there against the Moondogs. A lesser man would’ve caved ages ago.
Bobby Heenan: They finally managed to cut through that thick chain holding the cage door locked.
Gorilla Monsoon: A little too late. The Moondogs have picked up the victory in this chapter of their little saga with the Million Dollar Corporation. But will it be the last?
Bobby Heenan: They might have won the battle here tonight, but they’ll never win the war.
Gorilla Monsoon: The steel cage is being lifted as we speak in preparation for the next match. Akeem now back in the ring attending to his partner.
Bobby Heenan: He’s helping Boss Man back to his fee… whoa!
Gorilla Monsoon: Uh-oh… Boss Man just pushed Akeem away. There appears to be some dissention in the ranks amongst the members of the Corporation!
Bobby Heenan: Don’t be starting any rumors, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: Isn’t it obvious by what we’re witnessing in the ring right now? They’re blaming each other for the loss!
Bobby Heenan: That’s just adrenaline talking. I’m sure they’ll get over it come Prime Time next week. The Twin Towers are back together, Monsoon, and pretty soon they’ll be tag-team champions again. I guarantee you they’ll be back stronger than ever!
Gorilla Monsoon: I certainly hope so… for their sake.
Bobby Heenan: This is all Nick Jackson’s fault! Stupid Nick Fury wannabe! He’s the reason why the Corporation lost!
Gorilla Monsoon: How is it his fault?!
Bobby Heenan: He carted Judge Dredd away! Dredd was an integral member of this team! We all know Slick is no wrestler!
Gorilla Monsoon: Neither is Richard Lee.
Bobby Heenan: Yeah, but he had been psychologically prepared weeks before! He knew he was gonna be physically part of this match; Slick just found out minutes before!
Gorilla Monsoon: They all sound like excuses to me, Brain. Anyway, we’ll pass the floor right now to our broadcast colleagues Joey Styles and Paul Heyman, who will be doing commentary for the WLF X Championship match between champion Chris Jericho and challenger Kurt Angle. Over to you, fellas.
07-08-2013, 11:23 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
NWA vs WLF
WLF X CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Chris Jericho vs Kurt Angle
No pay-per-view can be laid to rest without featuring a match between the NWA and the WLF.
Will the Olympic gold medalist strike gold against Y2J and bring the championship back to the WLF?
Referee: Scott Armstrong
Announcers: Joey Styles and Paul Heyman
Joey Styles: Welcome back to World War 3 and coming up next we have a X-Division Match as Chris Jericho defends his newly won X-Division Championship who represents the National Wrestling Alliance and he goes up against the Wrestling Legends Federations own the Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle.
Paul Heyman: Chris Jericho should be given a prize because he defeated that freak of nature known as Goldust and I'm able to sleep fine now knowing that Goldust is no longer the X-Division Champion
Joey Styles: Can Kurt Angle do the impossible and defeat Chris Jericho one week after he won the championship, we will find out soon because right now we are going backstage with Bob Claude and I'm hearing he's standing by with the reigning champion Chris Jericho, take it away Bob.
Bob Claude: Thanks Joey! I'm standing by with the Best in the World Chris Jericho and on behalf of the National Wrestling Alliance congratulations on bringing gold home to our wonderful company after you defeated Goldust to win the championship and tonight I hear you have a big announcement before your title defense against the Wrestling Legends Federations Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle, care to enlighten us what it is.
Chris Jericho: Welcome to World War 3 is Jerichooooo and tonight in front of my Jericholics here in the San Antonio Texas I'm going to do everyone a favor by defeating the Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle and show that the NWA is still better than the WLF, but before that happens my big announcement is that you see when I won the X-Division Championship last week I was thinking that since it belongs to the greatest wrestling promotion in wrestling history the National Wrestling Alliance now I would remodel it.
The camera zooms out and we see the new belt around the waist of Chris Jericho.
Chris Jericho: Say no more to the X-Division Championship and say hello to the NWA Television Championship, I know it's beautiful isn't it. I thought and thought and the X- Division Championship has run its course and you may wonder when the Television Championship will be defended well just like its name I thought it should be defended on television every week by yours truly and I'm that kind of champion where I'm not going to backdown from a fight, hey anyone in the NWA or WLF if you want a shot at this then come get it.
Tonight Kurt Angle is going to be the first victim to fall to me and I will retain my Television Championship and when I do Kurt Angle will never everaaaa be the same again.
Chris Jericho walks away with his new championship
Bob Claude: Wow the X-Division Championship is no more and a very determined Chris Jericho is heading your ways guys, back to you Joey and Paul up front.
Back to ringside:
Joey Styles: I can't believe it folks Chris Jericho has replaced the X-Division Championship with the Television Championship what a sad day this is indeed.
Paul Heyman: The good thing about this Television Championship is that it will be defended every week and Chris Jericho is a genius.
Gary Michael Cappetta: This contest is schedule for one fall and its for the NWA Television Championship, first making his way to the ring from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, representing the National Wrestling Alliance, he's the NWA Television Champion, he's the Best in the World, Chris Jericho!!!
Break the Walls Down hits and out comes the reigning Television Champion to a great reaction from the fans here in the Alamodome. He walks down the ramp slapping hands of fans in the first couple of rows and he climbs the steps and gets in the ring and hands his title over to the referee in this match which is Scott Armstrong and then waits for his opponent to come out.
Scene opens with Gene Okerlund standing beside Kurt Angle.
Gene Okerlund]: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, joining me now is the Olympic gold medallist, Kurt Angle!
Gene Okerlund: So Kurt, you were out a year, but then came back with a huge victory over the Mastadon, Vader. And that, seemingly earned a title shot against the X-Division.... excuse me, the NWA Television Champion for his title. So tell us how you feel about that.
Kurt Angle: Well, Gene, all I can really say is that NWA TV title may be the shortest living championship in history. Because after I make Jericho tap out tonight, I'm not walking into Prime Time the NWA Television Champion, I'm walking in to WLF Prime Time the WLF Television Champion. I'll willingly defend my soon to be championship against anyone every single week on Prime Time television.
You know, I mention my gold medals in every one of promos and similar things, I think it's time to get some more accomplishments under my belt, and I'm starting tonight, when Jericho and I go at war, how fitting since this is World War 3!!
Kurt Angle: You know, there's a rule I follow, the rule of the 3 I's: Intensity, Integrity, and intelligence. And with that rule, there's no doubt that I'm walking out the TV champion, so you better believe that, Jericho. Oh it's true, it's damn true! haha.
Gene Okerlund: Back to you Paul and Joey!
Joey Styles: Thanks, Gene. You know what, with those 3 I's that Kurt talked about, there may be a chance of him winning this.
Paul Heyman: You know, over a decade ago, I almost signed a deal with Kurt Angle, and soon after I realized that I just let millions of dollars slip out of my hands. But now, after a decade, those millions just crumbled down to a mere dime.
Joey Styles: What are you talking about? Where were you when Kurt german suplexed the 460 pound Vader from the second turnbuckle last week on Prime Time?
Paul Heyman: I fell asleep half way through.
Lights go out
Kurt Angle makes his entrance
Crowd goes wild
Joey Styles: What an ovation for the Olympic hero!!
Paul Heyman: These people are crazy!
Joey Styles: That they are Paul. Now, look at the intensity in both of these men's eyes. This is a tough one to call, that's for sure.
Paul Heyman: I've already picked
Joey Styles: Feel free to enlighten us, Paul.
Paul Heyman: No, but thank you for the offer, Joey.
Referee shows the belt to both contestants and holds up the championship
Paul Heyman: That's what it's all about, ladies and gentlemen.
Referee rings the bell
Joey Styles: The referee has rung the bell and the match is under way. This one's going to be exciting!
Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle circle each other and tie up elbow collar and Kurt Angle gets the upper hand on the champ as he has Jericho in a headlock. Jericho fighting out sends Kurt Angle towards the ropes and Kurt Angle comes back into a back body drop but wait Angle lands on his feet and hooks the tights of Jericho and nails a perfectly executed German Suplex sending Jericho across the ring.
Joey Styles: What a German Suplex by Kurt Angle and he's just getting started as he brings Jericho to his feet and whips him towards the ropes and Jericho comes back and woe! The athleticism by Jericho as he leap frogged over the Olympic Gold Medalist and he comes off the other side of the ropes but Kurt Angle catches him with a Belly to Belly Suplex this time.
Paul Heyman: Lucky move by Kurt Angle there and he's now looking to target the leg of Jericho probably trying to weaken him up for the Ankle Lock.
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle with the right leg of Jericho wraps around and drops a Elbow into it and then locks in a leg lock on the Best in the World.
Jericho is trapped in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go as he reaches out but he's far from the ropes but his Jericholics begin cheering him on and Jericho begins getting a boost of strength as he turns over and kicks Kurt Angle off and it sends him flying across the ring and Angle gets up and Charges at Jericho and he connects with a arm drag on the Olympic Gold Medalist and takes Kurt down with a arm lock and has it locked in.
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle's writhing in pain! Jericho really knows how to really apply an arm lock.
Paul Heyman: Well, if he wants to prance around saying he's the Best in the World, which he's clearly not, he better know how to "really" apply one.
Joey Styles: The Olympic Gold medallist is back to his feet and takes Jericho down with a hip toss! Now, he's got a single leg Boston crab locked on to Jericho's right leg.
Paul Heyman: Hah! Jericho's face is photograph worthy, just look at him screaming like a little baby!
Joey Styles: Well Paul, Kurt's applying a lot of pressure to that leg. And Jericho turns around and kicks Angle off. Now, both men are trading punches and Jericho connects with the kick and attacks the back, Kurt Angle is on his knees now. Wow, this matchup is so evened up, I wouldn't be surprised if this match continued all night!
Paul Heyman: Jericho kicks Angle in the mid-section.
Joey Styles: Chris Jericho jumps up for the knee drop but Angle rolls out of the way, Jericho's favouring his right knee now!
Paul Heyman: Even after so many years of competition, he used his dominant knee, while knowing that the outcome could potentially be that! AMATEUR!
Joey Styles: Kurt senses the opportunity and capitalizes and locks in the Single Leg Boston Crab again! Oh, he quickly breaks the hold and jumps on Jericho's right leg, then DDT's the leg! Boy oh boy, Jericho's in trouble now!
Chris Jericho is writhing on the floor holding his leg as Kurt Angle grabs the leg of Jericho and drags him towards the ropes and he puts his right leg on the ropes and climbs on top of his leg as he drops all of his weight down on the leg of Jericho.
Joey Styles: Jericho is in a bad spot because Kurt now brings him to his feet and sends him into the corner hard and here comes the Olympic Gold Medalist and he comes charging and nails Jericho with a turnbuckle dropkick and he goes like a sack of potatoes.
Paul Heyman: Angle now dragging Jericho once again and he lifts him off the mat with a scoop slam, Angle now rolling to the outside and he looks under the ring and pulls out a 2 tables and rolls them into the ring and climbs in after Jericho.
Joey Styles: Angle setting up one of the tables in the corner of the ring and the other one in the middle of the ring and he goes to bring Jericho to his feet but Jericho counters with a Jaw Breaker which sends Kurt stumbling towards the corner and here comes Chris and Woe! The strength by Angle as he catches Jericho once again in a Belly to Belly and launches him through the table in the corner and these fans are enjoying this match.
Paul Heyman: I may not like Angle but I got to give credit where its due because that was a spectacular move by him.
Joey Styles: Kurt now lifting a groggy Jericho onto the table in the middle of the ring and he points to the corner and the fans who are mixed cheer for Kurt as he begins climbing to the top turnbuckle, Kurt now at the top and he's looking for a Moonsault and he jumps but WOE! Chris Jericho rolls off the table at the last minute and Angle goes crashing through the table.
With Both men laid across the canvas the fans start to erupt to get behind there favorite superstar and we see movement as Chris Jericho is crawling towards Kurt and he puts a arm across his chest and the red drops down to count the pinfall
Joey Styles: How the heck did he do that? After going through a table with such a force how can he kick out?!?!
Paul Heyman: I don't know but he did. Both of these men have truly earned my respect and that's not something a lot of people get.
Joey Styles: Both men are slowly getting back to their feet, and Angle gets the first hit and Jericho answers back with a fist, now both men are slugging it out in the middle of the ring filled with broken tables.
Paul Heyman: Kurt Angle Irish Whips Chris Jericho and ducks, but OH! Jericho kicks him real hard. You could even hear that in the cheap seats!!
Joey Styles: No doubt about that, look sat the look on Kurt's face! And to make it worse, Jericho connects with an enziguri which knocks down the Olympic Hero. That might've taken out both men as Jericho landed on a piece of that broken wood!
Paul Heyman: You've got to know where you are in the ring 24/7 to avoid mistakes like those. These men may have gotten some respect from me but that doesn't change the fact that this is an amateur-fest.
Joey Styles: Chris Jericho gets up first and runs towards Angle who counters with an enormous spinebuster!
Angle goes for the pin!
Joey Styles: The frustration on Kurt Angle's face indescribable, what more must he do to put away the champion.
Paul Heyman: Well, Joey, Jericho is known to have the heart of a lion.
Joey Styles: But even a lion has to lose somehow, right? Jericho's up, he runs behind Kurt, rebounds of the rope and goes for his signature running bulldog, but wait Kurt ducks and grabs his waist and connect with the German Suplex!!
Kurt Angle drops down and goes for another cover on the reigning champion.
No Chris Jericho kicks out again.
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle now pounding on the mat he doesn't know what to do to put Chris away here as he brings Jericho to his feet and Jericho counters with a Jawbreaker and follows it up with a clothesline.
Paul Heyman: Chris Jericho now looking towards the top rope and his fans erupt with cheers as he begins making his way towards the turnbuckle but he's wasting to much time as Angle is back on his knees already.
Joey Styles: Jericho is just getting to the top and Kurt pops up to his feet and WOE! He runs at Jericho and climbs the turnbuckle and catches the reigning champ with a Belly to Belly Suplex off the top rope and what a spectacular move by Angle. These guys are doing whatever it takes to walk out of World War 3 with the Television Championship.
Paul Heyman: I got to give Kurt that one that was a great move but let's see if he can capitalize on it because that took a lot out of him to as he's down on the ground to.
Joey Styles: Kurt now crawling towards Jericho and he drapes a arm over the chest of Jericho and referee Scott Armstrong drops down to make the cover.
No Jericho kicks out again and Kurt Angle with a look of dismay as he thought he picked up the win there.
Kurt Angle gets back to his feet and pulls down one of his straps to signal that the match will soon be over as Angle is letting Jericho get back to his feet and he does and charges at Angle with a clothesline but the Olympic Gold Medalist ducks and grabs Jericho from behind and hooks the trunks and lifts Jericho for a German Suplex but Kurt doesn't let go as he brings Jericho down with another German Suplex and Kurt still not letting go as he drops Chris with the third and final German hitting the combination as these fans are cheering because they know what's coming next.
Joey Styles: Jericho helping himself up but as his back towards Kurt and he goes for the kill looking for the Angle Slam but nice counter Jericho landed on his feet and dropkicks Angle in the leg and he goes down hard.
Paul Heyman: Jericho now rolling to the outside and now looks under the ring and pulls out a chair and throws it in the ring and follows suite. Jericho now sets up the chair in a sitting position, I finally like where this is going, just relax and sit away Jericho.
Joey Styles: I don't think he's using that chair to sit in Paul as Jericho has Kurt and whips him into the corner and comes charging and nails a Enzurguri and Angle comes out of the corner all groggy as Jericho bounces off the ropes and connects with his Bulldog sending Kurt face first into the chair, boy did you hear the Impact on that move.
Paul Heyman: Yet he's not going for a cover as he's walking towards Kurt and he nails Jericho with a Drop Toe Hold and he wraps around and grabs ahold of Jericho's right leg.
Joey Styles: He's looking for the Ankle Lock and he gets it locked in and he has it on tight and Jericho has nowhere to go.
Paul Heyman: Kurt Angle has that Ankle Lock locked on tight.
Joey Styles: They’re in the middle of the ring; there’s no place for Jericho to go! Are we looking at a submission here? Are we looking at a new Television Champion?
Paul Heyman: Jericho’s in an awful lot of pain, I can tell you that.
Joey Styles: That’s like telling me the sky is blue, of course he’s in a lot of pain. The Ankle Lock is arguably one of the most punishing holds in professional wrestling today.
Paul Heyman: Don’t get smart with me, Styles. Now’s not the time.
Chris Jericho, using his resourcefulness, rolls forward and launches Kurt Angle through the ropes! Angle somehow remains on the ring apron… but not for long. Chris Jericho races across the ring and springboards off the second turnbuckle and plants a dropkick right in the kisser of the Olympic gold medalist, sending his challenger down to the arena floor.
Paul Heyman: What a series of moves by the champion.
Joey Styles: I think Jericho’s just starting to get warmed up.
Paul Heyman: Where is he going now?
Joey Styles: Y2J, as he so often refers to himself, climbs to the top turnbuckle. I don’t think Angle even has a clue where he’s at. And Y2J with a death defying leap off the top, splattering his challenger down on the arena floor! The Television Champion is on a roll!
Paul Heyman: We should not downplay the significance of this match, Styles. Not only is this match to determine the Television Title, it is also a showdown between the WLF and the NWA. But don’t even get me started on how this Olympic has-been got selected to represent the organization.
Joey Styles: Honestly? I couldn’t think of anyone better.
Paul Heyman: Were you born yesterday? How about the reigning WLF Heavyweight Champion, the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase? How about the two-time WLF X Champion and my former client CM Punk? The 640-pound mammoth Yokozuna? Or the intellectual savior of the masses Damien Sandow? There’s an entire laundry list of wrestlers who could’ve been picked before we even get to this guy!
Joey Styles: I don’t think you should sell Angle short, Paul. He had an amazing match against Vader upon his return last week. And he’s pretty much held his own against Y2J thus far.
Paul Heyman: Thus far. How about a bloody guarantee? Right now, our championship belt sits in enemy territory. I don’t know about you, but I want to see it back home in the WLF right where it belongs. And I’m not sure if Angle is the guy to do it!
Joey Styles: I guess we’ll see by the end of this match.
Paul Heyman: As long as we’re still on the subject, and as much as I like Chris Jericho… he’s an amazing athlete with tremendous skills… but how dare he sideline the X Division like that! That title he was carrying was known as the WLF X Championship! And that had meaning! Not some bloody NWA Television Title!
Joey Styles: It’ll certainly be interesting to see how the WLF President responds to this. Technically a television title would mean that the title needs to be defended on television every week right?
Paul Heyman: That’s to my understanding. But what I’m saying is that it shouldn’t be the Television Title; it should still remain as the X Championship!
Joey Styles: Well, given that it is no longer the title for the X Division, for this match at least, I guess the X Division rules no longer apply. The referee here is actually starting the count on Jericho and Angle for being on the outside, whereas we’re much more accustomed to the no countout no disqualification rule.
Paul Heyman: I’m a little appalled by the fact that our very own X Division referee, Scott Armstrong, would be subjected to such contraints.
Chris Jericho rolls Kurt Angle back inside the ring and follows suit. Jericho perches himself on the second turnbuckle, looking to land another high impact aerial maneuver. Angle is quick to respond this time round and catches Y2J coming off the turnbuckles with a devastating clothesline! The Olympic gold medalist wastes little time and immediately goes for the Angle Lock. Having the move well scouted, Jericho counters the hold and rolls his challenger up in a small package!
ANGLE KICKS OUT!!!
Kurt Angle is first to spring to his feet and rocks Jericho with a stiff European uppercut to the jaw, followed by an impressive overhead belly-to-belly suplex!
Joey Styles: OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GAWDDDDD!!! ANGLE JUST HURLED JERICHO STRAIGHT INTO THE CORNERPOST!!!
Paul Heyman: Pin him! Pin him!
Joey Styles: Jericho’s back has gotta be broken in half!
Paul Heyman: Who cares? Just pin him already!
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle crawling over to make the cover and he hooks the leg.
JERICHO PUTS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!
Joey Styles: Jericho still hanging in there, but barely.
Paul Heyman: Well? Finish him off already!
Joey Styles: I believe that is the plan, Paul. Angle is lining himself up for the Olympic Slam. He’s waiting for Jericho to regain his feet and he latches on…
Chris Jericho desperately fights his challenger off, catching Angle in the face with an errant elbow. Quick to capitalize, Jericho hops onto the second rope for a springboard assault, but Angle pushes him off and sends the champion crashing all the way to the outside!
Paul Heyman: Where does Angle think he’s going?
Joey Styles: Stealing a page from Jericho’s playbook, Kurt Angle is actually climbing to the top turnbuckle. I would imagine he’s thinking of a high impact aerial maneuver on the champion on the outside.
Paul Heyman: This could make or break the match. It could well be the deciding factor on who wins in the end.
Joey Styles: And Angle with the leap off the top turnbuckle… OHHHH, JERICHO CATCHES HIM WITH THE CODEBREAKER ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!
Paul Heyman: You see! I told you!
Joey Styles: Angle might well be knocked out, laid out on the floor like that!
Chris Jericho slides back inside the ring, while the referee begins the count.
Angle throws himself underneath the bottom rope back inside the ring, just barely beating the referee’s ten count!
Crowd: LET’S GO, ANGLE!!!
Crowd: LET’S GO, ANGLE!!!
Joey Styles: The live audience here in San Antonio are torn between these two popular superstars.
Paul Heyman: Their opinions don’t matter.
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle still groggy from the Code Breaker earlier, even struggling to get back to his feet.
Paul Heyman: He’s gonna walk right into another one!
Joey Styles: Chris Jericho going for another Code Breaker… but Angle catches his legs! The challenger with a slingshot move, he launches the champion straight into the corner!
Paul Heyman: This could be his opportunity!
Joey Styles: Jericho staggers out of the corner and… ANGLE WITH THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!! BUT HE DROPS JERICHO OVER THE ROPES!!! THE CHAMPION TUMBLES TO THE OUTSIDE AND IS SPRAWLED OUT ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!
Referee Scott Armstrong starts the count on the champion.
The referee calls for the bell and awards the match to Kurt Angle as the result of a countout. However, under such circumstances, the title does not change hands via countout and as a result, Chris Jericho still remains the NWA Television Champion.
Paul Heyman: What did I tell you earlier? I told you we couldn’t depend on this Olympic clown!
Joey Styles: Well he won the match if it’s any consolation.
Paul Heyman: I don’t care about the damn match! I wanted the title! Now we have to suffer at least another week of Chris Jericho gloating about how great the NWA is!
Joey Styles: He’s gonna be saying it anyway with or without the belt around his waist.
Paul Heyman: But having the championship lends strength to his already annoying voice!
Joey Styles: But surely, by virtue of winning the match even if it is by countout, Angle will get another shot at the title.
Paul Heyman: You think Gekko’s gonna give him another shot? Are you an idiot? He’s failed in his mission today; he’s gonna go right to the back of the line!
Joey Styles: I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Paul. If given the opportunity against Jericho, I’m almost certain that Kurt Angle will walk away with the championship.
Paul Heyman: Alternatively, he can try to take him out later tonight in that 60-Man Battle Royal. That way the title will be declared vacant and Jericho will be out of the title picture just the same.
Joey Styles: That might be how you operate, but I highly doubt that the Olympic gold medalist would stoop to that level. Right now, we’ll turn you back to our broadcast colleagues, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby the Brain Heenan, for the next contest.
07-08-2013, 11:28 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
TEXAS TORNADO MATCH
WLF TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Champions The Road Warriors vs Demolition
Two of the toughest teams in WLF engage in combat with all four men in the ring at the same time.
Which tandem will emerge as WLF Tag-Team Champions in a decisive battle between power and paint?
Referee: Mike Chioda
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, this is it folks, the WLF Tag Titles are on the line tonight, as two of the most popular, not to mention toughest, WLF teams, are going to be squaring off. The champions? The Legion of Doom. The challengers? Demolition, who were the team to finally get the tag belts back from Harlem Heat...
Bobby Heenan: Monsoon, I gotta tell you, this one is gonna be a close one! I was out polling the audience before we went on the air as to who would win this match, and it was literally down the middle, 50/50 for both teams. Both of these teams are so evenly matched, any one can win...
Gorilla Monsoon: And with this being a Texas Tornado match, it's sure to tear the house down here at the Alamodome. Right now, we have some last minute comments from Demolition, courtesy of Gene Okerlund!
Gene Okerlund: Thank you very much Gorilla Monsoon....I am indeed standing by with Ax and Smash of Demolition, tonight gentlemen, you are one win away from capturing your first WLF Tag Titles...
Ax: That's right Mean Gene! For me and Smash, it's really been a long journey, one that's had a lot of ups and downs....we went from being in the background of the Wolfpac, to taking the lead and challenging the Harlem Geeks...and now we're here, on the eve of World War III....challenging for those very titles!
Gene Okerlund: Now Ax, Smash, I know you're both excited about this, but your opponents tonight are of course no slouches when it comes to being a tag team, or being champions....and they are two men that you two have spoken very highly of, Hawk and Animal...
Smash: Well Gene-O, you're right...we *have* spoken highly of those guys....and with good reason, they're two of the baddest dudes me and Ax have ever seen! We've said it before, but if we were ever in a street fight, and we could pick two guys to stand beside us, it would be Hawk and Animal without question! But tonight....I'm sorry boys....but business is business....your the only thing standing in the way of those tag titles....
Ax: Unfortunately, Smash is right....Hawk, Animal, you guys are our buds, you two are like brothers to us...but sometimes, brothers *do* have to fight one another if someone truly wants to get something....
Gene Okerlund: (As Demolition's theme is heard playing in the background) Well, it appears you two are up, any last second words?
Smash: Yeah....Animal. Hawk....let's blow the roof off this place and steal the show huh? Let's show these Texans how we do it!
With that, Demolition walk off-camera as we cut back to ring side
Howard Finkel: This Texas Tornado tag match is scheduled for one fall....and it is for the WLF Tag Team Titles! Introducing first, making their way to the ring, from Parts Unknown....Ax and Smash...Demolition!
Gorilla Monsoon: Here comes Ax and Smash! This crowd truly *is* split down the middle Brain, half cheering and half booing Demolition!
Bobby Heenan: I'm telling you, I could probably poll every WLF fan, and it would *still* be too close to call, that's how evenly popular these two teams are banana breath!
Slowly, Demolition slides into the ring and poses for the crowd, which half boos and half cheers as they await the tag champs in the ring
Demolition is in the ring waiting as we head backstage.
Lord Alfred Hayes: Please welcome my guests at this time. They are the tag team champions of the WLF The Legion Of Doom along with their manager Paul Ellering.
They come from off camera and stand next to Alfred.
Lord Alfred Hayes: Gentlemen, in just moments you are going to walk out to that ring and your going to be facing the team you wanted to face her tonight for those titles on your waist. This is going to be your toughest match to date here in the WLF but why did you choose Demolition?
Paul Ellering: Alfred, my boys only wanted to face the best and here tonight they felt Demolition was the best in the WLF at the present time. We went through this already and they already said they will defend those belts at anytime because they will be the best champions this company has ever seen. Mark my words Alfred!!
Road Warrior Animal: You see Alfred Demolition are some tough sons of bitches here in the WLF and after they helped get our belts back from Harlem Heat we had to thank them the only way we know how and that is kicking their teeth down their throats. After this match we will be doing battle together in the Battle Royal but in this match we will do whatever it takes to make sure these titles stay right where they are. Tell em Hawk!!!
Road Warrior Hawk: Let me tell you something Alfred!!! Demolition is the baddest team in this company right now and in this match it's Tornado rules which means everybody is in the ring at the same time. There are no tags in this match so anything goes and we are ready to do what it takes for these titles. Demolition get ready for the fight of your life!!! OHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!!!!
All 3 men walk away from Alfred as we head back to the arena.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, here we go Brain. The Tag Titles are on the line here and I must say that LOD is ready for this one.
Bobby Heenan: This arena is split Gorilla as they have no idea who will come out on top. This is the most evenly contested I have ever been a part of.
The Fink: Coming down the aisle from Chicago, Illinois. They are the current WLF Tag Team Champions The Legion Of Doom!!!
The crowd is half booing and half cheering here. They have no idea who to cheer for as The LOD makes their way to the ring. They enter the ring and head to their corner as it looks like it will be Hawk starting for his team against Ax. Mike Chioda holds up the belts and calls for the bell as this match is under way.
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Gorilla Monsoon: The rafters are literally shaking here in the Alamodome, this crowd, as you can see, is very evenly divided....here we go, the four men are slowly moving to the center of the ring...
Animal and Hawk slowly approach Demolition and, as one, they both put out their fists. Ax and Smash watch this for a moment, then, with a smile, they each bump fists with LOD, drawing applause from the crowd. Finally, as the crowd begins to buzz more and more, Hawk is the first to speak
Hawk: WELL......you boys ready?
Ax: Ready when you are....
With that, all four men grin, then begin to trade blows with one another as the crowd goes crazy. Ax and Hawk move towards the ropes as they brawl while, meanwhile, Animal and Smash slug it out center ring
Gorilla Monsoon: Here they go folks! These guys didn't waste anytime....they're hurling all they have at each other already!
Bobby Heenan: Any humanoid who came here looking for a scientific bout is going to be quite disappointed banana breath!
Gorilla Monsoon: You can say that again, Brain! Wow, listen to these punches being administered by all four men! If they keep up like this, I can't even begin to imagine how sore they'll be for the Battle Royale!
Ax and Hawk have spilled out to the outside, though neither man lets up, they continue to wail on each other with massive rights and lefts. They move towards the barricades near them as the crowd near those seats go nuts at the brawl developing before them
Gorilla Monsoon: The thing about this match to realize, of course, is it's a Texas Tornado match folks, so they'll be no resting for the participants, no need to tag, so these four men can go as crazy as they want anywhere in and around the ringside area...
Road Warrior Hawk is pounding his fist into the head of Ax. Ax is trying to cover up but it's not doing anything. Hawk grabs Ax and he nails runs him into the barricade. The fans are telling Hawk to nail him and he gives him a big boot and Ax falls into the front row. On the opposite side of the ring Animal is ramming Smash's head into the ring post. Mike Chioda can only stand by and watch as Animal than picks up Smash and rams him back first into the ring post.
Gorilla Monsoon: Let me tell you Brain Demolition is one of the toughest teams in this company but LOD is having their way with them right now and this is something I wasn't expecting.
Bobby Heenan: Demolition will go on the offensive Gorilla. It's only a matter of time.
Hawk follows Ax into the front row and he folds up one of the chairs and he nails Ax with it. He drops it and Ax pokes him in the eye stopping Hawk in his tracks. Ax clotheslines Hawk back over the barricade and they are back at the ringside area. Animal than gets the crowd into it as he rolls Smash into the ring. Chioda than rolls in after them as Animal nails Smash with kicks to the back and head. Smash rolls back out of the ring to get his wind back.
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Gorilla Monsoon: This crowd is still evenly divided, even as this match progresses...Ax and Hawk are slowly making their way towards our table, both men just raining blows on each other as they do...
Bobby Heenan: Oh Lord....all I want is for our table to remain standing by the night's end Monsoon, is that too much to ask for?
As Hawk and Ax brawl on one side of the arena floor, we see Animal pounding on Smash by the opposite side guard rail. Animal then backs up and goes to deliver a clothesline to Smash, much like was done to Ax earlier, but Smash manages to duck down and nail Animal in the stomach with his shoulder. Animal doubles over in pain as Smash backs up, then hits a knee lift into the side of Animal's head, felling the big man.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh-oh, Animal not in a good place here, Smash has finally regained control, but meanwhile, Hawk and Ax are slugging it out by the time keeper's chair....the time keeper has wisely gotten out of the way....eh, what's this?
Ax goes to swing Hawk into the small time keeper's table, but Hawk reverses it, and Ax goes careening over the table and to the floor, complete with the bell dinging a few times as Ax crunches into it
Bobby Heenan: Well, Ax just got his bell rung...
Gorilla Monsoon: Somehow, I had a feeling you were going to say that Brain....Ax took a risk there, but it backfired on him, he's hurting big time as Hawk goes in to do some more damage...
Hawk grabs the ring bell and he clocks Ax in the head with it. The bell rings out among the arena and Hawk leaves Ax to help Animal with Smash.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well it looks like Hawk is about to help Animal and we are about to see some tag team action here.
Bobby Heenan: This could be a mistake Gorilla. They are giving Ax a breather and time to recover.
Animal grabs Smash and holds him for Hawk as Hawk nails him with lefts and rights to the stomach and face. They double suplex Smash and Animal picks him up and he whips him into the steel post.
Gorilla Monsoon: The crowd is firmly behind the tag champs here.
Bobby Heenan: LOD doesn't have to beat Demolition to retain the titles and it looks like Ax is up.
Ax is seen getting up on the other side of the ring as he goes over to help his partner. The LOD don't see him as Ax comes running up behind Hawk.
Wham! Ax clubs Animal from behind, knocking Animal down. Hawk intercepts Ax, and the two begin to slug it out punch for punch as the crowd begins to rumble again
Crowd: Demolition! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap) Demolition! (Clap, clap, clap clap clap)
Bobby Heenan: It's really getting hard to gauge these humanoids Monsoon, one minute they're chanting for The Legion, the next they're chanting for Demolition!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well Brain, you can pretty much argue that LOD and Demolition are probably the two most popular teams right now in the WLF, so it doesn't really surprise me we're getting such an interesting reaction from the crowd here...
Hawk and Ax make their way back into the ring as Animal and Smash also slide in. Finally, all four men are center ring, and they continue to slug it out as the crowd continues to chant, almost at the top of their lungs now
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Half of the Crowd: DEMOLITION!
Other Half: LOD!
Slowly, all four men stop their punching for a moment and look to the crowd, which cheers like wild. Ax and Smash exchange a look, then look to LOD. Both teams crack a smile and bump fists again, then go back to brawling as the crowd pops
Bobby Heenan: ....What was *that* supposed to be?
Gorilla Monsoon: (Laughs) I think, Brain, it's just they're way of saying "We're all putting on a great match here, great job fellas!
Bobby Heenan: That sort of sappy stuff can wait till *after* the match....for now, just keep on killing each other!
Gorilla Monsoon: Please....
Gorilla Monsoon: Here we go again! The champion and challengers are ripping into each other one more time and they’ve got the crowd on their feet!
Bobby Heenan: I really don’t see what the big deal is with these two teams or this weird obsession with power and paint. The Midnight Express, now that’s a tag-team we should be talking about.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well the Midnight Express are not in this match, so I suggest we keep our focus on the two teams mauling each other in the ring right now.
Bobby Heenan: But the Midnight Express should’ve been in this match; they were the last team eliminated.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well unfortunately for them, the Road Warriors won that battle royal and they have under no uncertain terms selected Demolition as their opponents.
Bobby Heenan: Bah, semantics.
Gorilla Monsoon: Demolition Ax takes on Road Warrior Animal, while Demolition Smash tangoes with Road Warrior Hawk. The Texas Tornado ruling certainly adds an entirely different element to this contest with all four men being allowed in the ring at the same time.
Bobby Heenan: It’s chaos, that’s what it is. I don’t even know what action to call!
Gorilla Monsoon: Then what happens later during the battle royal?
Bobby Heenan: What about the battle royal?
Gorilla Monsoon: *shakes his head* Nevermind. Let’s just get back to calling this match.
Animal forces Ax into the corner and repeatedly thrusts his shoulder into the latter’s midsection. Ax reverses their roles and switches position with Animal, doing the exact same thing by repeatedly thrusting his shoulder into the midsection of the Road Warrior.
At the same time, Hawk and Smash are trading blows on the other side of the ring. Just when Smash is edging out Hawk in their little slugfest, the Road Warrior retaliates with a kick to the midsection and follows through with a clothesline. Smash manages to duck out of harm’s way, but Hawk connects with a member of Demolition anyway as he nails Ax with the clothesline instead!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ax goes down in a heap following that clothesline from Hawk; I don’t think he even saw it coming. Smash now finds himself in quite the predicament here, having to deal with both Road Warriors, at least for the time being.
Bobby Heenan: So all this double-teaming is legal in this match?
Gorilla Monsoon: Yes.
Bobby Heenan: It’s no disqualification?
Gorilla Monsoon: No it’s not. You could still get disqualified and lose the match.
Bobby Heenan: Anytime you get in a brawl fest like this one, nobody can measure up to the Road Warriors.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well if anyone, it’ll be Demolition who can match firepower with the champions here. Unfortunately for Smash, he happens to be at a huge disadvantage with one man down.
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKEREL!!! SANDWITCH ACTION HERE BY THE REIGNING WLF TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!
Bobby Heenan: It’s not looking very good for Demolition.
Gorilla Monsoon: Smash is most definitely feeling the effects of that double clothesline. But will it be enough to secure a successful title defense for the Road Warriors?
AX BREAKS UP THE PINFALL!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: The Road Warriors were less than half a second away from retaining the titles.
Bobby Heenan: It’s like a vicious cycle, Monsoon. Now Ax has to take on both the Road Warriors.
Gorilla Monsoon: Nobody said it would be easy.
Ax engages Hawk in physical combat, but Animal clobbers him from behind. Hawk rebounds from the ropes and runs Ax over with his patented belly-to-belly shoulder! Hawk proceeds to the top turnbuckle, while Animal props a groggy Ax up on his shoulders! Hawk leaps off the top and takes Ax’s head off with their signature double-team move!
Gorilla Monsoon: DOOMSDAY DEVICE!!! THE ROAD WARRIORS WITH THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON AX!!!
Bobby Heenan: THEY TURNED HIS BODY INSIDE OUT!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ax went 360 and crashlanded onto the canvas. This match could well be over as Hawk goes for the cover.
Bobby Heenan: I don’t think anyone is getting up after that.
SMASH BREAKS IT UP!!!
Smash proceeds to toss Hawk to the outside. With Hawk out of the way, the challengers begin to work over Animal, hammering the Road Warrior into the canvas.
Bobby Heenan: Now Demolition have the one-man advantage.
Gorilla Monsoon: And they’re wasting little time to assert their dominance. Demolition whip Animal into the corner. Smash proceeds to whip his partner into Animal with a clothesline in the corner.
Bobby Heenan: I think they’re going for the finish, Gorilla.
Gorilla Monsoon: No reason not to. Smash has Animal set up, while Ax climbs up the second turnbuckle.
Bobby Heenan: We could be looking at new champions here.
Gorilla Monsoon: And Ax drops the huge elbow on Animal!
Gorilla Monsoon: DEMOLITION WITH THE DEVASTATING DECAPITATION ELBOW ON ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL!!!
Bobby Heenan: They got him good there!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ax going for the lateral press. The referee in position to register the count. Will this do it?
HAWK DRAGS AX THROUGH THE BOTTOM ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!
On the outside, Ax reverses an Irish Whip and sends Hawk crashing straight into the metal ringsteps! Ax returns to the ring and motions for Smash to set Animal up once again for the Decapitation Elbow! The live audience in the Alamodome are once again on their feet, one half chanting for the challengers, and the other half for the champions!
Bobby Heenan: I’m going deaf here with all this noise! These humanoids need to make up their minds on who they’re gonna support.
Gorilla Monsoon: Ax once again coming off the second turnbuckle with the Decapitation Elbow on Road Warrior Animal!
Bobby Heenan: Hey, wait-a-minute… what’s Hawk doing?
Gorilla Monsoon: Hawk climbing to the top turnbuckle… and he levels Demolition Smash with a flying clothesline!
Bobby Heeenan: I don’t think Smash even saw that coming!
Gorilla Monsoon: Hawk going for the cover and hooks the leg.
Bobby Heenan: But at the same time, Ax has Animal pinned!
Gorilla Monsoon: The match is over!
Bobby Heenan: Yeah, but who won? Hawk pinned Smash and Ax pinned Animal!
Gorilla Monsoon: There appears to be a state of confusion going on here.
Bobby Heenan: Oh, you think?
Gorilla Monsoon: The ring announcer is conferring with the match official. Both the champions and challengers have separated themselves and are now standing on opposite corners of the ring. Everyone is waiting to hear what the verdict is.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the referee’s official decision and he rules this bout… a draw!
The boos crescendo to deafening levels.
Bobby Heenan: WHAT?!
Gorilla Monsoon: The crowd here in San Antonio showing their displeasure at the referee’s call.
Bobby Heenan: Can you blame ‘em?
Gorilla Monsoon: Not at all. Even the participants themselves, both Demolition and the Road Warriors want a clear and decisive winner.
Bobby Heenan: So what now?
Gorilla Monsoon: We’re gonna have a riot on our hands if we don’t fix this soon.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, what’s that little girl doing trotting down the ramp?
Gorilla Monsoon: That’s no little girl; it’s Hermione Watson! That’s Gordon Gekko’s intern!
Bobby Heenan: What is she doing out here?
Hermione makes her way down ringside and walks straight up to the ring announcer with a message directly from Gordon Gekko.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that the WLF President himself has instructed that this match will continue… under sudden death rules!
The crowd erupts!
Howard Finkel: And there must be a winner!
Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell and restarts the match. Demolition and the Road Warriors pick up right where they left off and tear into each other like there’s no tomorrow! Hawk and Animal are quick to strike as they deposit Ax to the outside with a double clothesline.
Bobby Heenan: It looks like the Road Warriors are gonna be retaining the titles afterall.
Gorilla Monsoon: The match is not over yet, Bobby, and I wouldn’t sell Demolition short. Smash can more than hold his own I’m sure.
Bobby Heenan: Against both the Road Warriors?
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, he’s definitely not backing down and is in fact taking the fight to the champions.
Bobby Heenan: Let’s see how long that lasts.
Gorilla Monsoon: Smash ducks under a clothesline attempt from Hawk, but walks right into a powerslam from Animal! He got the wind knocked right out of him!
Bobby Heenan: What did I tell you?
Gorilla Monsoon: Hawk now climbing to the top turnbuckle, while Animal sets Smash up for their signature Doomsday Device.
Bobby Heenan: If they nail this, it’s as good as over.
Gorilla Monsoon: OHH MYYY… AX JUST PUSHED HAWK OFF THE TURNBUCKLES AND SENDS HIM CRASHING ALL THE WAY TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!
Bobby Heenan: Where did he come from?
Gorilla Monsoon: Smash fighting out of his predicament; he’s got Animal reeling! And Ax pounces on the Road Warrior with a double axhandle! Animal goes down! Smash is going for the cover!
Gorilla Monsoon: The match is over! We have new WLF Tag-Team Champions!
Bobby Heenan: And the Road Warriors once again fail to muster up even a single title defense!
Gorilla Monsoon: Demolition may have walked away with the gold on this night, but the match could’ve gone either way, Bobby. It ended in a draw earlier remember?
Bobby Heenan: I’ll be honest with you, Monsoon. I still find it hard to tell the difference between these two teams. They look so much alike!
Gorilla Monsoon: You need to get your eyes examined; they look nothing like each other. But you can bet that this won’t be the last time that these two teams come face to face; what a confrontation this has been!
Bobby Heenan: And both these teams are gonna be competing again in the 60-Man Battle Royal later?
Gorilla Monsoon: You couldn’t stop them even if you wanted to. That’s what they’re all signed up for… hard hitting high impact action like only the WLF can offer. New WLF Tag-Team Champions crowned. What else is gonna happen here tonight?
07-08-2013, 11:34 PM
WLF World War III - 24 June 2013
LAST MAN STANDING
MONEY IN THE BANK CONTRACT
Jose DeJesus vs Umaga
Will the Voice of the Future be ready for this brutal encounter against the Samoan Bulldozer?
Will Mr Money In The Bank gain a measure of retribution or will he lose everything he fought for?
Referee: Tim White
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan
Leading up to the heavily anticipated showdown between Jose DeJesus, the WLF production team has stringed together a series of vignettes, depicting how this very personal rivalry came to be.
This dates all the way back to the May 13 episode of WLF Prime Time when Umaga first made his television appearance. It was during a scheduled tag-team match in the diva's division featuring Mickie James and Bull Nakano against Angelina Love and Velvet Sky of Beautiful People. After the match was over, the Samoan savage interrupted Mickie's victory celebration and started stalking her in the ring, ultimately decimating her with a devastating Samoan Drop and putting her on the shelf for an entire month.
One week later, Umaga struck again. This time, it was during a tag match between Jose DeJesus and Scott Hall against Damien Sandow and Tucker Pyles. In the dying moments of the match, Umaga ambushed Hall down ringside, introducing the world to the dreaded Samoan Spike and sending a direct message to DeJesus.
Umaga did not stop there. On the June 3 episode of Prime Time, Jose DeJesus, together with The Rock, Danny Bravo and Christopher Knight, was scheduled in an eight-man tag-team match against the Million Dollar Corporation. The Samoan Bulldozer effectively took out the People's Champion with the Samoan Spike and cost DeJesus yet another loss.
On the week following that, Jose DeJesus and The Rock were determined to gain a measure of retribution when they were slotted to face Umaga and Nailz in a tag-team contest. Umaga decided to no-show, but midway through the match, made an unexpected appearance and once again, made an example of The Rock, and this time, completely removing the People's Champion from the equation.
And just last week, DeJesus finally got his hands on Umaga in a mixed tag match, but at what cost? In the concluding moments of the encounter, Umaga looked set to finish DeJesus off with his patented running hip attack in the corner. Mickie, sensing trouble for her husband-to-be, sacrificed her own body and threw herself in harm's way.
Gorilla Monsoon: Which is what brings us here today. Mickie James is still out injured as we speak. I'm not sure if DeJesus is even in the right frame of mind given the current situation with his wife-to-be.
Bobby Heenan: It doesn't matter. Ricky Ricardo can be at his best; it still wouldn't be good enough. This Umaga is a different breed of wrestler, Monsoon. You've gotta be out of your mind to mess with a beast like that.
Gorilla Monsoon: I don't think DeJesus had much of a choice in the matter; he was being targeted since day one.
Bobby Heenan: Then he's pretty much screwed; he can kiss his Money In The Bank contract goodbye.
Bobby Heenan: That is one scary sight, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: Brother Love leading the way for the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga. I guess no words need to be said for this one.
Bobby Heenan: A picture's worth a thousand words, and we've seen just about enough of the destruction that Umaga caused even before wrestling a single match!
Gorilla Monsoon: He is most certainly a force to be reckoned with. But Jose DeJesus has been confronted with many obstacles in the past and he's managed to knock 'em out of the park each time.
Bobby Heenan: True, but he's never faced anything like Umaga before! I'm not sure if this guy is even human!
Gorilla Monsoon: I guess we'll find out in just a few minutes. Is the Voice of the Future up to the challenge? Will he be the last man standing when so much is on the line?
Jose DeJesusis pacing backstage at the moment after seeing video package displayed, and the horror Umaga dealth to his friends and family the past month! Mene Gene is fixing at the tie, getting it ready for the live interview to happen, and Jose can't stop moving! As Mene Gene Okerlund is about to start the interview, Jose is seeing flashes of his history here in WLF, and it could end tonight if he isn't careful versus Umaga.
Mene Gene: Ahem many battles will happen here tonight at World War 3, but theirs a battle everyone has been waiting to see, and it's gonna happen tonight! You Jose DeJesus will be putting your Money in the Bank contract on the line, which you won at Wrestlemania 2 versus the man, who not only succeed in taking out your friend the Rock, but also the Woman you love..the one who cherish to the end, Mickie James! Since then, not have you lost every single match since winning the MITB contract like you've said before, but days ago it seemed like you thought Mickie thought of you as a curse in her career right now.I know she is in clutches and isn't here tonight, and I know you are full of anger, but can you tell us what's going on in that mind of yours right now?
Jose starts to look behind him, and he see's Mickie not there like she has always been in the past.
Jose DeJesus: You know when you make sound like that Mr.Okerlund, I think I should just give away this MITB contract right over to Brother Love and Umaga? Here take it Mene Gene..I've lost everything in my life already, why not add this to the list? You see Umaga, yeah you caused me pain..you didn't have to do it personally, but you were able to win the chest game between us in getting my sunshine away from me, and that pain would not away with rest! You know in my career, I've faced everyone that Gordon Gekko put in front of me, without no fear and repeatedly I knocked them down, like Bowling Pins! This time, Umaga is bowling on a perfect game and I can't keep up.Right now Brother Love as you stand in the middle of that right, motivating your client Umaga, you think I've lost what made me different among others? Something that you can't buy, something that keeps me going even when my body tells me go down for the night, and that's my heart! You think I'm just going to hand away this MITB contract to you just because of the track record you've to me?! Let me tell you something Umaga, and Brother Love can use sign language to translate this to you, in your life..your going to have to deal with pain! I'm not talking about my OWWHHH MY NECK HURTS, I'm talking about being a kid and seeing your Mother crawling up the steps, with a gallon of Vodka in her hands, and that Mother is not the same one you saw the morning of?! Your Mother is begging for you to call the Ambulance for the fourth time that week, and you have to help her to an vertical base, but she cannot do it on your own, that's pain that I went through in my life! How about being 13 years ago and seeing your Mother and Father both get carted off to Jail because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves? You think that detour you've created in a month is going to have me hang up my boots for good here in WLF, if you believe that Umaga then you should really start feeding you human food!
Mene Gene: Strong words by you Jose, but cannot deny this type of a match-up favors Umaga, who can lose his mind in a blink of a eye, when Brother Love wants it...and how he wants it?
Jose DeJesus: Funny question there Mene Gene, last time I heard a Zebra can't change it's stripes, and Ducks still fly home for the Winter, and just like them I'm not going to hold back anything, I'm still the same man who had your soul when it came to my opponents, I had them even before the bell rang, and you know it! The name of the match is called Last Man...key word Man standing..Umaga might have all the body parts than makes him a man on paper, but he disgraced his ancestors for his actions the past few months here in WLF.The Samoans are a family of Warriors! I never seen more of a clan of people so tight in my life, and that's includes my family! It seems when Umaga family members were trying to teach him wisdom, Umaga was stomping on the native Animals wanting to see their guts come out! Maybe at one time Umaga was a person who could be trusted on, but Brother Love gave him a place to leak out that anger, and it was here in WLF! Maybe tonight after I give him some scars to remember me by, he might come to the reality he's created, but don't hold your breathe on that!
Mene Gene: I saw just before we started rolling that you looked behind you, and I know it was Mickie was not there, is there anything you want to say to me right now?
Jose DeJesus: Actually I..
As Jose DeJesus is about answer that question from Mene Gene Okerlund, a well dressed man comes into the Camera's view, and Mene Gene is shocked to see this man.He was a former member of the Four Horsemen, his name is Ricky the Dragon Steamboat.
Mene Gene: My word, can you believe fans it's Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, we haven't seen you in ages here in WLF or NWA for that matter!
Ricky Steamboat: Thank you Mr.Okerlund, it's good to see you too, but I'm not here to talk about how I was kicked out of the Horsemen, I don't like to harbor on the past, I look towards the future, and I'm standing next to the man who likes to call himself the Voice of the Future?
Jose DeJesus: Yes sir.
Ricky Steamboat: Only once has you and I crossed paths in our careers, and you outsmarted me in the WLF Championship Tournament to move on! Even when the Horsemen at that time, gave you a beating that would of made a normal man cry Uncle, and would of made a norman go to another Wrestling Company, you overcame the odds that life dealt you and keep fighting till your last breathe.I know the history of your career, you came from nothing, now "giggles" we all know that you are not the same man who came out here with a Metal Fork every week, wanting to spill blood.I like to think that same person doesn't need a Fork, to put it into gear when he needs to? I think that same drive you had once as the WLF World Champion, if you look deep enough in the dark depths of your stomach, you can find what Umaga has yet to see, and you only you can force that out.I can give you wisdom as high as the heavens, but only you can find that spirit that made you what you were before.Now I've heard you've have having problems with your Wife to be Mickie James?
Jose DeJesus: Yeah it seems that Mickie is afraid that with me, you might have no career! She put her body on the line for me..How are you able to deal with Wrestling, and your family Mr.Steamboat?
Ricky Steamboat: It is a challenge I cannot lie to you, it's hard for me at times when I talk to my Wife and I ask about the kids, and they ask when are you coming home daddy?! You know I sit in my bed at the Local Hotel room that night, and I just wanna hand in my papers to quit and go play with my kids, but daddy has to keep Wrestling, for them to have a better life that most kids in the world do these days especially with how bad the economy is right now! My kids will understand how I put my body on the line for them every night, and just like them, Mickie doesn't consider you as a curse...You gotta remember weeks ago she was inches away from winning the WLF Women's Title for the third time, and it might of happened if not for Brother Love's Umaga.She must be going through things that only she can figure out, but if I know one thing..I know you love her, and if she truly loves you...she will back in your life when you least expect it! Well go out there Son, Last Man Standing Match, everyone is behind you! You've never bucketed under the pressure, don't start now!
Jose DeJesus: Thank you Mr.Steamboat I needed that talk, Umaga..the time has come...
Mene Gene: Boy..boy...Jose is coming to the ring, thank you Ricky for being involved back to you Monsoon and Heenan!
Ricky Steamboat: It was my pleasure Mene Gene!
Gorilla Monsoon: You know how Jose likes to say, that he likes to keep his tank fuel with hunger, well I think that talk with the Dragon refilled that for him?!
Bobby Heenan: Talk is cheap Monsoon, but how dare Jose imply Umaga is not a man?! I'm not so sure you wanna take pictures with his Bear, he might kill ya! As for little Ricky clearly he's looking to take my job, since when does Ricky wear suits?!
Gorilla Monsoon: You can breathe easy Brain, no one wants your job..but it wouldn't be hard for someone to take it away that's for sure!
Bobby Heenan: WHAT! The Lights are out once again!!!
Noise: San Antonio!!!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: Did you hear that Heenan?
Bobby Heenan: Yeah I heard it, and those flashing lights are making Umaga mad! I bet he goes just as nuts at the feeding frenzy at the Bronx Zoo!
Gorilla Monsoon: This isn't Jose's Music??
Bobby Heenan: Look up there Monsoon who are those freaks?!
Gorilla Monsoon: I'm getting word this band is called AFI, and this is Jose's new music I imagine!
Bobby Heenan: Make the flashing lights stop Monsoon, this isn't a DUI test!
Gorilla Monsoon: Man look at Jose come out those curtains, and he's coming down with a purpose!
Bobby Heenan: About time..I was starting to hate AFI already!
Michael Buffer: COMING INTO THE RING...HE IS THE SOLE HOLDER OF THE MITB CONTRACT...FROM NEW CASTLE, DELAWARE...THE FORMER WLF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD....HE IS THE VOICE OF THE FUTURE...
Gorilla Monsoon: What a great response from the San Antonio fans, and they want Jose to finally get even against Umaga! What is Brother Love doing?!
Bobby Heenan: Who knows?
Brother Love: You ain't go no chance against Umaga!
Gorilla Monsoon: DID HE JUST PUSH JOSE!
Bobby Heenan: He sure did!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose doesn't wanna hit Brother Love, oh wait SUPERKICK TO THE JAW OF BROTHER LOVE AND HE'S DOWN!
Bobby Heenan: And Umaga strikes, here we go!
Gorilla Monsoon: The match is officially on, and it's about time someone put Brother Love to sleep, good job Tim White dragging the body of Brother Love out of the ring!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga and DeJesus are going at it tooth and nail! The fans are loving every second of it!
Bobby Heenan: Brother Love didn't deserve that, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: To be fair, Bobby, he did put his hands on DeJesus first.
Bobby Heenan: Well he still didn't deserve that; he's not a wrestler!
Gorilla Monsoon: What's done is done. Let's just focus on the match at hand. DeJesus is simply not backing down from the man-beast!
Umaga and Jose DeJesus continue to trade lefts and rights in the middle of the ring. The live audience has been drawn into the match right off the bat. The crowd goes "Yay!" each time DeJesus lands a blow, and boos every time Umaga connects with his shots.
Gorilla Monsoon: The atmosphere in the Alamodome is simply electric.
Bobby Heenan: Everyone, their grandma and their dog have been looking forward to this one.
Gorilla Monsoon: I don't believe this... DeJesus actually has Umaga reeling!
Bobby Heenan: Looks like Ricky Ricardo has a lot of steam to blow off.
Gorilla Monsoon: Can't say I blame him there; Umaga is afterall responsible for putting Mickie on the injured list not once, but twice.
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Monsoon. Umaga shouldn't be shouldering all the blame. It was Ricky Ricardo's fault that his miss little piggy got injured last week.
Gorilla Monsoon: Are you kidding me? Were you even watching that match? Umaga ran her down like a runaway freight train!
Bobby Heenan: True, but if Ricky Ricardo hadn't gotten himself in that predicament in the first place, then Piggy James wouldn't have had to sacrifice herself unnecessarily.
Gorilla Monsoon: You're impossible.
Bobby Heenan: Thank you.
Gorilla Monsoon: It wasn't meant as a compliment.
Jose DeJesus continues to unload on Umaga with hard rights and ends the sequence with a standing dropkick. Umaga no-sells the move and comes right back with a clothesline that almost takes his opponent's head off! Umaga runs the ropes and delivers a diving headbutt on DeJesus, followed by a huge legdrop across the face.
Umaga pulls DeJesus back up and whips him into the corner. The Samoan Bulldozer stomps across the ring and charges in with a huge avalanche on DeJesus in the corner. Umaga begins to pummel the Voice of the Future with no remorse and no mercy!
Bobby Heenan: I told you Ricky Ricardo's no match for this man beast.
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga now resorting to a blatant choke. There's really nothing that the referee can do; his only role in this match is to count to ten each time a man is down.
Bobby Heenan: And we clearly see who that man is gonna be.
Gorilla Monsoon: It's still early in the match, Bobby. I have no doubt that DeJesus will come back from this.
Umaga after beating Jose with rights and lefts stops his attack, as he has the Voice of the Future where he wants him.Umaga slowly backs into the turnbuckle, and starts pounding his chest like a Gorilla, and Brother Love tells him to go do it, as the WLF Fans in the Alamodome do not know what's coming from the monster? Umaga gets a head of steam shaking the whole ring, as his feet hit the mat, "pat" "pat" he runs his body, and smashes his backside into the face of Jose, as his head whiplashes the Turnbuckle!
Bobby Heenan: That could be it right there Monsoon, Umaga huge as.
Gorilla Monsoon: Don't you said it?!
Bobby Heenan: What I was going to assets, Umaga's assets just destroyed Jose's face, who's the new Elephant man now!
Gorilla Monsoon: We've never seen a 300 pounder move like that, obviously Umaga has been hiding his true skills for this moment! Jose's head falls completely to the mat, and Tim White starts to count!
Bobby Heenan: ONE...TWO...Three what the!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga grabs Tim White and stops the count!
Bobby Heenan: Yes of course, Jose is gonna get it now, you don't put your hands on Brother Love and get away with it! Brother Love has been like a Father to Umaga, he would his shirt off his back to Umaga if he needed it!
Gorilla Monsoon: Sure he would, he hide the evidence that he first stole it from someone!
Bobby Heenan: Jealous Monsoon?
Gorilla Monsoon: I have no jealous towards Brother Love, but Umaga had his brain working, he would see that Brother Love is helping his career go down the Toilet?!
Bobby Heenan: Oh yeah, I didn't see you have any titles in your career! Umaga tonight has a chance to win that MITB contract and win something, you didn't have the skills to win, a World Title!
Gorilla Monsoon: Watch it! Umaga go back to Jose and starts to drag the body of the former World Champion! He's heading to the top, can the ring hold all that way!
Bobby Heenan: If it can hold a Gorilla, than he could hold a Samoan Bulldozer! Woah look at that face, his Mother must be proud!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ohhh I know what Umaga is going for? He's going to Banzai drop Jose!
Bobby Heenan: Ohhh your right, he might destroy Jose ribs completely!Look at him shake the ropes, TIMBERRR!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: He missed the Banzai drop, that was a close one there! Jose is back up and hits the Shining Wizard to the face of Umaga, and it knocks him out if the ring!
Bobby Heenan: I haven't seen Jose do that move in a long while Monsoon, and it sounded like any harder he would of knocked all of Umaga's teeth outta his mouth! Jose is pandering to these humanoids he needs to stay on Umaga, if he wants to keep that MITB contract!
Gorilla Monsoon: He's asking these fans to go through this match with him, and they have no problem in doing so.Could be see a suicide dive?
Bobby Heenan: You're right there Jose goes, through the ropes BUT UMAGA CAUGHT HIM IN MID-AIR! What is he going to do with him, Jose can't break free no matter how many elbows he hitting Umaga with right now!
Gorilla Monsoon: His grip is too tight, OH MY GOODNESS MODIFIED SIDEWALK SLAM ON THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE!
Bobby Heenan: He bounced off of that Barricade like Umaga was playing wall ball at the local YMCA, imagine that Umaga playing wall ball and scaring the kids?!
Gorilla Monsoon: Can you keep focused on this match for a moment, Jose could be seriously hurt here!
Bobby Heenan: Tell his Mother to come out here, and put some Vodka on it haha.
Gorilla Monsoon: Tim White is on the outside and he's starting to count Jose count! ONE...
Bobby Heenan: TWO...
Gorilla Monsoon: Three..gulp..
Bobby Heenan: FOUR!
Gorilla Monsoon: FIVE..Jose is starting to move and he has his head against the Barricade, and Umaga see's he's good enough to go!
Bobby Heenan: HERE COMES THE CHOO CHOO TRAIN MONSOON!
Gorilla Monsoon: Tim White stop this, TOO LATE!
Bobby Heenan: Wait Jose drop toe holds Umaga and his head smacks the Barricade, dropping him to one knee, damn him!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose is not going down tonight, and he's starting to get up fully himself what is he doing, he's looking under the ring?!
Bobby Heenan: Clearly he's looking for Mickie, I guess the smell of Pig here in Texas is confusing him!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose has found a chair, and he kissing it?!
Bobby Heenan: Oh my he does have Women troubles! He puts the chair on top of the head of Umaga, what is he planning to do?
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose hops on the Apron, and he is smirking! Jose leaps and twists his body, and hits a modified leg drop on UMAGA!
Bobby Heenan: That's dangerous to do Monsoon why do that?
Gorilla Monsoon: Yeah it's a risky move to do, but if it hurts your opponent more you do it in a match like this!
Referee Tim White begins the count on Umaga, while Jose DeJesus returns to the ring to await the referee's verdict.
Brother Love: GET UP, UMAGA!!! DON'T YOU DARE FAIL ME!!! GET UP I SAY!!!
Umaga pulls himself back up using the ringside barricade for balance.
Bobby Heenan: Did he actually think he was gonna beat Umaga that easily?
Gorilla Monsoon: To be fair, that was quite the knock Umaga took with that modified legdrop from the ring apron, not to mention the steel chair for added impact.
Bobby Heenan: I'm pretty sure it's a common occurence for a savage like Umaga back home in the Isles of Samoa. Doesn't he have to fight off entire tribes just to feed?
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, he doesn't have to anymore. We've got 24/7 buffet lines for all our talent.
Bobby Heenan: Not if Umaga gets to it first!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga still a bit dazed from the attack earlier. DeJesus is hovering over the side of the ring; what's he gonna do here?
Bobby Heenan: Something stupid I'll bet.
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus launches himself over the ropes with a suicide dive on his opponent... but Umaga catches him in mid-air!
Bobby Heenan: I told you!
Gorilla Monsoon: What's Umaga gonna do here?
Bobby Heenan: Whatever it is, it's gonna be painful for Ricky Ricardo.
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKEREL!!! UMAGA IS SWINGING DEJESUS LIKE A PENDULUM!!! HE'S REPEATEDLY SMASHING HIM AGAINST THE RINGSIDE BARRICADE!!!
Bobby Heenan: That's what I'm talking about! I don't think even the mighty Jose DeJesus is gonna be able to pick himself up after that onslaught!
Gorilla Monsoon: I hate to admit it, but you might be right, Bobby. That was a scary sight; I don't think I've ever seen anyone being manhandled like that before! I'm not sure if DeJesus can answer the ten count. Umaga might well be the last man standing.
Referee Tim White starts the ten count on Jose DeJesus.
Tim White just watched a man head and whole body get smashed into the Barricade, now he must start counting out Jose DeJesus, as he yells out in the Alamodome ONE...TWO...with every number the WLF Fans in the Arena, they join in unision hoping to wake up the Voice of the Future... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... Jose is starting to move but barely! Seven and Jose DeJesus is coming up from one knee.Brother Love is telling Umaga to wait to attack him again, eight....Jose is now up and he's telling Umaga to bring more punishment, like what he just was given was not enough! Umaga looks at Brother Love wondering what's going on, and Brother Love is screaming at Umaga to go and attack! Umaga listens and runs at the Voice of the Future and Jose hops in the air like he's moving away from a bull! Umaga's head smacks the Barricade giving him more of a headache especially after he took that modified leg drop with a chair minutes ago.Jose is about to start the assault when Brother Love comes behind the Voice of the Future and lands a low blow sending to his knees in pain!
Gorilla Monsoon: C'mon Tim White we need for you to get some control here!
Bobby Heenan: That's payback for that superkick he took earlier, I guess if Mickie and Jose ever do get back together, adoption should be the best route at this point haha.
Gorilla Monsoon: He has no business being out here in the first place!
Bobby Heenan: He signed the contract he knew the stakes, stop complaining..Umaga is back up and he doesn't look happy, looks like Umaga skipped a meal today and that's rare to see!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga grabs the head of Jose and sends him into the ring, and starts to look under the ring for himself? Umaga theirs no food under there?
Bobby Heenan: You are thinking about food in a time like this, shameful! Umaga is pulling out what is it?
Gorilla Monsoon: Awwhh no it's a Table!
Bobby Heenan: Damn right it's a Table, and Jose better get up unless he wants to be wearing crutches like Mickie James! He tosses it in the ring and he nearly hit Tim White with it!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga is now in the ring, where will he place this Table, wait a minute here! Is that Bull Nakano I see coming running down the ramp?!
Bobby Heenan: IT IS! It was a set up all along Monsoon, pull Mickie and Jose away from it each other, to set up Jose for this, his last match in a WLF Ring!
Gorilla Monsoon: Nakano is telling Love to get in the ring, and they start to stomp away, AT JOSE..THIS ISN'T RIGHT, STOP THIS TIM WHITE!
Bobby Heenan: Anything does, and Bull Nakano must be used to beating up men she's doing a hell of it right now! What's Nakano, Love and Umaga planning?
Gorilla Monsoon: They are putting him on the table, ohhh I see the plan?!
Bobby Heenan: I see it too, Umaga is going to splash Jose through the table! He's starting to climb, and Jose cannot get off the Table!
Gorilla Monsoon: Of course he can't, Nakano is holding his arms and Brother Love is holding his legs! Wait look up at the RAMP NOW! IT'S MICKIE JAMES!
Bobby Heenan: Isn't that cute, to came to see the passing of Jose DeJesus, wait she's limpering down the ramp is she nuts!
Gorilla Monsoon: Mickie is in the ring, Nakano, Love don't see her! OHHHHH!
Bobby Heenan: Mickie is swinged that crutch into the back of Nakano and this is horrible, just wrestled two other ladies earlier tonight, she might be able to defend her title again!
Brother Love: HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY CLIENT...YOU NO GOOD..B****
Gorilla Monsoon: Brother Love was just met the crutch right into his stomach and he's down, and these people are loving this! Oh no, Umaga has come down from the top rope and he's stalking Mickie and she turns around and she's not running!
Bobby Heenan: RUN YOU IDIOT RUN!
Gorilla Monsoon: She might of been injured by this man, but she staring fear straight into his eyes!
Bobby Heenan: Turn around Umaga don't play around with her, she's easy!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose comes around Umaga and lands the Gringo Cutter through the table!
Gorilla Monsoon: Both are down and out, and Mickie is exiting the ring to help wake up Jose, we have chaos all around the ring, will either man get up!
Bobby Heenan: C'mon Umaga you've been through battles to the death, this is a cake walk!
Referee Tim White starts the count on the Samoan Bulldozer, while Jose DeJesus returns to the ring to recover from the earlier beatdown, with Mickie cheering him on from ringside.
Umaga begins to stir.
Umaga cleverly rolls underneath the bottom rope to the outside and balances himself against the side of the ring, effectively breaking the ten count nonetheless.
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus stays on the offensive as he lets loose with a perfectly timed baseball slide on the Samoan Wrecking Machine, knocking him down to the floor.
Bobby Heenan: Shouldn't he at least wait for him to get up first?
Gorilla Monsoon: I don't think that's how it works here.
Bobby Heenan: And what is that jezebel doing down ringside? Shouldn't she be injured?
Gorilla Monsoon: She's one tough cookie and she's here to even up the odds.
Bobby Heenan: Isn't it enough that she cracked the crutch against the back of Bull Nakano? She has to break that damn thing on Brother Love as well? What's the matter with her?
Gorilla Monsoon: Can you blame her? Brother Love and his clients have made this couple's lives a living hell ever since WrestleMania!
Bobby Heenan: That still doesn't justify putting your hands on a manager.
Gorilla Monsoon: They made it very personal! And I don't blame DeJesus or Mickie for whatever they do here tonight!
Bobby Heenan: You're a broadcast journalist, Gorilla. How can you be condoning such acts?
Gorilla Monsoon: I'll condone you in a minute if you keep this up.
Jose DeJesus goes for an Irish Whip on the outside, but Umaga reverses it and sends the Voice of the Future crashing into the steel ringsteps! Umaga raises his thumb, signalling for the dreaded Samoan Spike! Mickie James, sensing trouble for her husband-to-be, once again puts her own body in harm's way as she throws herself on Umaga, clutching onto his cranium from behind!
Bobby Heenan: What the hell does she think she's doing?
Gorilla Monsoon: She's saving her man, that's what!
Bobby Heenan: That was how she got injured the first time!
Gorilla Monsoon: Bull Nakano comes over and wrenches Mickie right off of Umaga, tossing her to the floor!
Bobby Heenan: Serves her right!
Gorilla Monsoon: Whether intentionally or not, ladies and gentlemen, we have suddenly gotten ourselves here a mixed tag match!
Bull Nakano after getting the Wildcat Mickie James off of Umaga, both of them are looking at Brother Love for guidance.Mickie whether or not she planned on it, gave Jose enough time to climb the Turnbuckle! He flips backwards for a Moonsault, but just before Jose comes straight into Umaga and Nakano, Umaga grabs a chair and swings it like a Barry Bonds and hits Jose in the back, stopping him!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga could of just broken Jose's back with that shot!
Bobby Heenan: Umaga could play on the Yankees right now Monsoon, one problem though?
Gorilla Monsoon: And what's that?
Bobby Heenan: Umaga would get hungry and get the eat the bat! Now hit Mickie with the chair!
Gorilla Monsoon: He wouldn't do that...WOULD HE?! Umaga just gave the Chair to Bull Nakano and she's stalking Mickie!
Bobby Heenan: This could be the end of Mickie also tonight! Mickie is trapped in the corner like the Pig she is, Mickie kicks Nakano in the stomach and she bumps into Umaga, and she drops the chair!
Gorilla Monsoon: Mickie wraps her legs around the head of Nakano and Mickieconrana's her into the Barricade!
Bobby Heenan: I wonder if I give her a Rooster, she could do that to me as well?!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga is about to attack Mickie run! WAIT LOOK OUT!
Bobby Heenan: Suicide dive, why do that Jose...why do that!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose calls that Topa Del Hilo, and he saved Mickie once again, I guess Tim White wants to see a clear winner like the rest of us, he hasn't asked at all for Mickie, Nakano or Brother Love for that matter to leave.
Bobby Heenan: Brother Love is not going anywhere, he there under-contract to help Umaga!
Gorilla Monsoon: Mickie is coming over to us, where is he doing?
Bobby Heenan: Monsoon, she's ripping the Table apart, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Mickie James: IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'll CHOKE YOU OUT WITH THESE WIRES!
Gorilla Monsoon: She told you haha! Wait now Mickie is going over to the NWA Table with Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura!
Bobby Heenan: What is these two planning! Mickie is starting to walk over to Bull Nakano and is dragging her to the Table, and she's lay her there, she won't DARE!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga is up, and he's walking over to Mickie, but Jose turns him around and hits him with a Chair across his forehead!
Bobby Heenan: He won't go DOWN!
Gorilla Monsoon: Another Chair shot, and Umaga still won't go down!
Bobby Heenan: A third shot, and Umaga finally falls back into the NWA table! That Chair is dented it, and Jose and Mickie are climbing the top!
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose is calling for the Macho Man Elbow, Brother Love is getting on the Apron though trying to stop there dives, but Mickie kicks Brother Love off of the Apron, and Jose flies!!!
Bobby Heenan: Elbow drop through the heart of Umaga, and the Table didn't break thank the Lord!
Gorilla Monsoon: Mickie about to fly herself but Brother Love sweeps the legs of Mickie and she falls to the mat!
Bobby Heenan: Somebody need to restore order in this match!
Gorilla Monsoon: Referee Tim White is probably more interested in seeing the conclusion of this match more than anything else.
Bobby Heenan: This is what happens when you make matches like these, Gorilla. These animals must be governed by proper rules.
Gorilla Monsoon: Rules or not, the referee is starting count on both men. The instant replay is showing how Umaga bounces right off the table and it still didn’t break, following the flying elbow drop from Jose DeJesus. I would imagine DeJesus would be able to get up before the count of ten.
DeJesus picks himself up from the floor and leans against the ring.
Umaga begins to stir.
DeJesus decides not to wait for the referee to continue his count as he resumes his attack on his opponent. As the Samoan savage is crawling on the floor on all fours, trying to get back to his feet, the Voice of the Future pulls out a monitor set from the announce table and smashes it right in the back of Umaga’s skull!
Bobby Heenan: Hey! You uneducated buffoon! Do you know much that equipment costs?
Gorilla Monsoon: I don’t think he cares, Bobby.
Bobby Heenan: He would if it’s taken right out of his paycheck. Look at the dent he’s made on the monitor!
Gorilla Monsoon: Forget the monitor, how about Umaga’s cranium? He’s gotta have a concussion after that!
Jose DeJesus: *turns to Tim White* Now you count!
Bull Nakano recovers and tries to assist in pulling Umaga back to his feet.
Mickie James sprints across the ring and delivers a well-placed baseball slide on the female mastodon, kicking her down on the floor!
Gorilla Monsoon: I believe the interference distracted the referee from his count. It would’ve been a ten count otherwise; Umaga is still down on the floor.
Bobby Heenan: This is Piggy James getting back at Ricky Ricardo for ruining her career!
Gorilla Monsoon: Don’t you start.
Bobby Heenan: I speak nothing but the truth.
Gorilla Monsoon: Referee Tim White is doing what needs to be done; he’s ejecting both Mickie James and Bull Nakano from the ringside area!
Bobby Heenan: Why Nakano? She was only trying to help!
Gorilla Monsoon: She’s not supposed to! This is a one-on-one match!
Bobby Heenan: Brother Love is beside himself; he’s trying to make a case for Bull Nakano. And he gets ejected as well?
Gorilla Monsoon: Good riddance! I guess Tim White has finally had enough of all the unnecessary outside interference. Notwithstanding, we know for a fact that this issue is far from over between Mickie James and Bull Nakano; something’s gotta give between those two. Maybe now we can finally have a decent singles competition between Jose DeJesus and Umaga!
Gorilla Monsoon: Now we have a slugfest happening right in front of our very eyes between these two tenacious superstars who simply won’t stay down!
Bobby Heenan: I’m citing unsafe working conditions! I demand a pay raise!
Gorilla Monsoon: What makes you think Gordon Gekko won’t just replace you?
Bobby Heenan: He can’t do that; I’m indispensable.
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus now repeatedly bashing Umaga’s face into our announce table here. Umaga catches him with an errant elbow to the face and stops the onslaught. All this while referee Tim White is trying to get them both back inside the ring.
Bobby Heenan: Well that’s one.
Gorilla Monsoon: Whether intentional or not, DeJesus finds himself back inside the ring. Though I’m almost certain he doesn’t know Umaga is right there behind him.
Bobby Heenan: This is it, Gorilla. He’s setting him up for the Samoan Spike. If he nails ‘em, it’s over.
Gorilla Monsoon: It might well be.
Bobby Heenan: Umaga moves in for the kill!
Bobby Heenan: HEY!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus blocks it; he caught Umaga’s hand just as he was about to deal the death blow! AND DEJESUS… OHHHH, A KICK RIGHT BETWEEN THE LEGS OF THE SAMOAN BULLDOZER!!!
Bobby Heenan: That should be an automatic disqualification!
Gorilla Monsoon: For the last time, this is a last man standing match. There are no disqualifications and no countouts, pinfalls or even submissions. The only way to win this match is to beat your opponent to a point where he can’t answer the ten count.
Bobby Heenan: Now where is that idiot going? Is he leaving?
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m not quite sure. He’s asking for his Money In The Bank briefcase.
Bobby Heenan: He’s given up? I knew it! I told you he was a quitter!
Gorilla Monsoon: Far from it, Bobby. DeJesus is climbing to the top turnbuckle with the Money In The Bank briefcase! I imagine he’s gonna brand Umaga in the head with it!
Jose DeJesus: YOU WANT THIS BRIEFCASE, PENDEJO?! I’M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU!!!
Bobby Heenan: He’s kidding right? You could crack a man’s skull wide open with that briefcase; it’s a hard case!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, the natives of Samoa generally have stronger craniums.
Bobby Heenan: That’s not funny, Monsoon. You could be talking about a man’s life here!
Gorilla Monsoon: I’m sure it won’t come to that extent, though it has crossed my mind if either of these superstars would even be able to compete in the 60-Man Battle Royal later this evening.
Jose DeJesus leaps off the top turnbuckle with the briefcase in hand! Umaga manages to roll out of the way at the last second as Mr Money In The Bank goes crashing into the canvas with his briefcase! DeJesus staggers to his feet, only to walk straight into the Samoan Spike, courtesy of Umaga!
DeJesus stumbles back and tumbles through the ropes to the outside, but on the way out, gets his left boot entangled in between the middle and the bottom rope!
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus is hanging upside down by the side of the ring!
Bobby Heenan: I can’t believe this! Another lucky escape for Ricky Ricardo!
Gorilla Monsoon: What are you talking about?
Bobby Heenan: Don’t you see? The idiot’s knocked out after that Samoan Spike! If he weren’t hanging upside down, this could’ve been a ten count and Umaga could’ve been the new Mr Money In The Bank!
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga’s still recovering from the onslaught earlier that he can’t capitalize on his opponent’s predicament at this point of time.
Bobby Heenan: Uh-oh, you see what’s happening here, Gorilla?
Gorilla Monsoon: Umaga’s picked up the Money In The Bank briefcase and he’s headed to the outside, slowly making his way towards his still unconscious opponent.
Bobby Heenan: You know what he’s gonna do right?
Gorilla Monsoon: I can only guess… and it does not look good for DeJesus.
Umaga hovers over Jose DeJesus, still hanging upside down with his left leg entangled in the ropes. The Samoan Bulldozer lifts the briefcase above his head, but just as he was about to lower it down DeJesus’ face, the Voice of the Future suddenly pops open his eyes and, using his one free leg, kicks the briefcase right back in Umaga’s face!
DeJesus struggles to pull himself up, untangling himself from the ropes at the same time. Waiting for his opponent to recover, DeJesus leaps off the ring apron and straddles his legs around Umaga’s neck, sending the Samoan savage spiraling to the floor with an impressive hurricanrana!
Gorilla Monsoon: The last time Jose DeJesus competed in a match of such nature, he was defending the WLF Heavyweight Championship against Brock Lesnar.
Bobby Heenan: As dangerous as Brock was, he’s no beast like Umaga. So if Ricky Ricardo needed to pour cement on Lesnar to stop him from getting back up, what does he need to do here tonight to keep Umaga down?
Gorilla Monsoon: Whatever it may be, it’s probably not something you can find down ringside… cause they appear to be moving further away from the ring.
Bobby Heenan: They’re brawling in the crowd! This is an awfully dangerous position to be in! We could be looking at potential lawsuits here! Get out of the way, you idiots!
Gorilla Monsoon: DeJesus and Umaga battling up the steps and through the exit out into the walkway. This is probably taking it a little too far if you ask me.
Bobby Heenan: They’re fighting near the concession stand! And Ricky Ricardo is stuffing popcorn down Umaga’s throat!
Gorilla Monsoon: This is probably a first, but I don’t ever recall popcorn being used as a weapon. What’s he gonna do, choke the guy into submission?
Bobby Heenan: He’d require a whole truck load cause you’re gonna need more than a couple buckets of popcorn to feed the Samoan Bulldozer!
Umaga, in retaliation, hoists DeJesus up on his shoulders and dumps him right onto the concession stand, smashing the table to bits as all the popcorn and cotton candy goes flying everywhere!
Gorilla Monsoon: Looks like Umaga’s picked up a trick or two from his opponent; he’s now stuffing DeJesus with cotton candy! I don’t believe this!
Bobby Heenan: He oughta be careful, he might give this third world ingrate a sugar rush; then he won’t stay down.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, at least he’s supplementing it with some Pepsi Max, emptying one bottle after another on DeJesus… even taking a sip himself.
Bobby Heenan: Nasty Girl’s gotta be somewhere close.
Gorilla Monsoon: Jose DeJesus doing his upmost best to battle back. Umaga perhaps looking for something more practical to use as a weapon and all DeJesus needed was his own physical self as he surprises the Samoan Bulldozer with a Codebreaker from out of nowhere! The Voice of the Future is now all over Umaga, stomping and kicking away on his opponent!
Pulling Umaga off the floor, Jose DeJesus nearly knocks his tooth out with a stiff European uppercut to the jaw, followed by a standing dropkick. With Umaga reeling, DeJesus grabs himself a handful of braids and introduces the Samoan Bulldozer to an in-house electronic billboard out in the foyer, putting him right through the equipment!
Gorilla Monsoon: Amazingly, Umaga is still on his feet!
Bobby Heenan: That’s gonna cost our president some serious dollars, Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: That won’t put a dent in his pocket, Bobby. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. But as much destruction as these two has caused from the ring all the way out here to the foyer of the arena, I don’t see us any closer to the ending at all!
Bobby Heenan: And we’ve got more matches lined up on the card, including the huge 3-Ring-60-Man Battle Royal! Now where do they think they’re going?
Gorilla Monsoon: Out the main door? The fight has spilled out of the Alamodome, folks! We’re gonna need to get out cameras outside. The action is literally happening outside the Alamodome! They’re out brawling on Montana Street!
Gorilla Monsoon: Ladies and gentlemen, you’re looking at a live footage just outside of the Alamodome… where Umaga and Jose DeJesus are still dishing it out on one another!
Bobby Heenan: They’re practically brawling on the sidewalk, Monsoon! They’re fighting by the side of the road… traffic and all! This is crazy!
Gorilla Monsoon: The last time a match took to the main streets was when Brian Pillman took out the Macho Man Randy Savage in the inaugural WLF pay-per-view to crown the first ever WLF Heavyweight Champion.
Bobby Heenan: Yeah, but neither of them had to compete in a 60-man battle royal later that evening!
Gorilla Monsoon: That is true. I’m not even sure if there’s gonna be an end to this contest. It has become so personal between these two!
Bobby Heenan: HEY!!! Did I think what just happened actually happened?
Gorilla Monsoon: HOLY MACKEREL!!! IN THE MIDST OF FIGHTING DEJESUS, UMAGA JUST TOOK OUT A MOTORIST WITH THE SAMOAN SPIKE!!!
Bobby Heenan: He only has himself to blame, Gorilla. He was riding too close to the sidewalk!
Gorilla Monsoon: We’re trudging on law enforcement grounds here; won’t want the authorities to get involved. They might just decide to shut us down.
Bobby Heenan: They don’t seem to be stopping, Monsoon! They’re not even slowing down!
Gorilla Monsoon: And amassing quite the crowd as well. Motorists are stopping, holding up traffic. Pedestrians and passersby have gathered around to witness this… scuffle between Umaga and DeJesus.
Referee Tim White, realizing he could no longer control the match, finally decides to call for help. WLF officials and building security alike come in to pull Umaga and Jose DeJesus apart, and at the same time, reign both superstars back inside the building.
Bobby Heenan: So what happens now?
Gorilla Monsoon: I believe the referee has thrown this one out; Tim White is ruling it a no-contest. This doesn’t happen very often in the WLF, but I don’t think the referee had any choice in the matter.
Bobby Heenan: What?! And rob these humanoids of their hard earned cash?
Gorilla Monsoon: Like I said, Bobby, this doesn’t happen very often. It has gotten way too personal in my book. I don’t think if there’s any other call he could’ve made or whether it would’ve been wise to risk continuing with the match. Umaga has already attacked an innocent bystander as it is and we apologize for that greatly.
Bobby Heenan: You do know that they’re gonna be at each other’s throats again later in the battle royal right?
Gorilla Monsoon: That’s what I’m afraid of. We might need to have the rings reinforced.
Bobby Heenan: Ricky Ricardo got off lucky if you ask me. Umaga had his number.
Gorilla Monsoon: I bet this feud is far from over, Bobby. I don’t know about luck, but Jose DeJesus and Umaga could by far be the most tenacious and resilient superstars we’ve ever come across. They couldn’t possibly be at a hundred percent for the battle royale after this! Nevertheless, while many of us are still trying to get over the shock of these two battling it out on the streets of San Antonio, Texas… do stay tuned, we have more action coming your way.
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